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Anonymous
A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?
by Anonymous
October 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Replies

  • alexsmomma06
    October 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM
    No, I would never get involved with a man who was still legally married or one who had children.
  • blondie805
    October 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    October 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM
    They should just become sister wives.. Im justt kidding idk who are we to judge what works for other people here is a bump for you mama
  • tecsabates
    October 14, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    So your friend has kids with this man and those children do not get to go to any family functions with their own father? And she is ok with allowing her kids to be treated that way?  Some mother.

  • epoh
    by epoh
    October 14, 2012 at 8:23 AM
    I don't think I could handle the pressure and stress of maintaining such a charade.
  • JenB1983
    October 14, 2012 at 8:24 AM
    Quoting Anonymous:



    They are living a complete lie though.
    And the wife just needs to let go at this point, since the husband has moved on(obviously), she would easily be able to get a legal divorce and then petition the church to annull the marriage. The easiest grounds the are to get one granted, infidelity. Then, if she feels that strongly, in the eyes of the church it will be as though the marriage never happened, and she would be more than welcome to marry within the church again.
  • hip2it
    by hip2it
    October 14, 2012 at 8:25 AM
    No
  • rjsmommy214
    October 14, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    i would not

  • colins_mom
    October 14, 2012 at 8:27 AM
    Yeah no... I'll pass.
  • JenB1983
    October 14, 2012 at 8:29 AM
    Quoting blondie805:

    I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.



    I'm still married,both legally and within the Catholic church. I'm also living with my S/O(not husband), and we are expecting a little girl in December.

    HOWEVER, I am only still married because my husband is being a dick. He refuses to file, and with being military and stationed overseas(Germany), I can't file and have him served. My priest(and everyone else in our parish) knows this, and still supports me. My priest also knows that as soon as my divorce is granted, I will be petitioning to get the farce of a marriage annulled.

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