these things are outside my house. :'( - spider pics, i was asked to put a warning-

[Anonymous]

and i'm positive they'll eat me in my sleep while hubby is working an overnight.  these particular two are gone, but i know they have friends!  ugggghhh. 

does anyone know what they are?

EDIT   didn't see a diamond anywhere on the black one.

[kellysparkles]

Omfg woman what the hell is that?!?! I don't do spiders at all, I start hyperventilating if one gets too close to me.

[Anonymous]

A freaky spider...put a warning please.

[Twix.Leigh]

Yiiikes I'd be terrified toooo :( look so scary, no clue but good luck!

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I don't know.  It makes me want to sit and guard the doors lol.  I'm laughing, but I'm really horrified. 

Quoting kellysparkles:

Omfg woman what the hell is that?!?! I don't do spiders at all, I start hyperventilating if one gets too close to me.

[BEXi]

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *dies*

[Anonymous]

Omg! Kill it!!!!! KILL IT!!!!

[rmfanfgljf]

the top one is either a black widow or a false widow, they are generally non aggressive unless protecting there eggs. the second one I have no idea lol.

[Tink0711]

They're some freaky ass spiders!

[nikkip1]

Holy shit woman that's not quite what I was expecting when I opened this!

[ProudMommy_1034]

SHOOT THAT BIG BISSHHH !