My situation - DH and I both work full time. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and I have a son from a previous relationship. He pays child support - as he should. My ex does not.
I pay 500 dollars a month in child care, 350 on a car payment, 85 on insurance, 600 a month in rent etc. etc.
We have one car, we live in a 2 bedroom condo, our bills are all paid, and sometimes we have a little something to put into savings.
We have Netflix instead of cable, we have prepaid phones instead of smart phones with contracts, I take the bus to work in the dead of winter to save money on gas.
We go on one "vacation" ( more like a weekend away) a year - In the past it's been an indoor water park ( 500 total, for hotel, admission, spending money and gas), and Niagara falls (400 total for Gas, attractions and camping fees)
I want a baby so bad is physically hurts to see another child. I found out almost 2 years ago that if I want to have another child, I would need to be on bedrest the entire pregnancy due to complications. That would require quitting my job, hiring a live in nanny to attend to my young son etc.I would lose my medical insurance, because I won't be working. My son will lose his - my husbands job offers it, but it's way too expensive - You get the picture
My sisters situation - Her DH works full time, making the same amount of money I make. They have 2 cars they just finished paying off and invested in a third vehicle. She's a stay at home mom. Right around the time I found out about the possibility that I may never have another baby, my sister announces that she's pregnant with baby number 3.
I was devastated and even more so when she asked meto be this baby's God mother - it was too much for me to handle at the moment.
She begins recieving Medicade and WIC and then they move into his families home. They are paying 300 a month for rent, but had his family lie and say they are paying 900 a month and all utilities - which the 300 a month is covering their lights and water - so they are really only paying for gas. She then begins recieving foodstamps. Mind you that have a 500 dollar a month Truck Payment -
They do not have insurance on this truck ( or their other two vehicles) - which irritates me because it's against the law and you are violating a contract - but that a minor irritation that really won't affect me when they lose the truck.
They have a satelite dish, brand new iphones, etc.
When I was talking to my sister on the phone the other day - I mentioned I was feeling guilty, because I hadn't bought DS a winter coat yet and I really needed to get him one before the weather takes an extreme drop ( BTW I ended up getting him one this weekend). She says " Oh I got all three of the kids new coats, boots, hats, scarves, gloves, and snow suits yesterday" - Og because you get everything in life handed to you!!!
My mom is mad at me, because I don't want to talk to my sister. Well when everytime I talk to her she's saying " Oh we went out to dinner at Red Lobster" , "Oh DD11 is in this EC, this EC and this EC and DS7 gets to do this and this and this and it only cost me 600 dollars" - and I can't afford the extra 80 dollars a month to send my son to karate - Why can't I afford this -?? Because I work full time, go to school full time, my husband works full time - We make too much for assistance and not enough to live like people that are on assistance
And I am not against assistance - I am just so sick and tired of hearing how good she has it, because she's one of the people that make everyone on assistance look bad. I know not everyone on assistance is like this and I think welfare is a wonderful program. I just get irritated when I see people misusing it. I am too moral of a person to lie to the government just to get a hand out - because I really feel that if you have to lie to get it, then it's a hand out, not a hand up.
If you truly need it, then please use it - but in this situation, it is not needed.
by ajrjj05October 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM
umm. I say you have that baby and you get the help you need too! As far as your sister tell her to shove it
by Anonymous 2October 12, 2012 at 11:45 AMAgreed! We are those people that make to much for assistance and not enough to live like the ones that do. It's so frustrating! I agree with every single thing you said. I'm sorry about the baby situation...I really hope that something works out and you get your precious bundle.
by Anonymous 3October 12, 2012 at 11:50 AMThat would piss me off. I have a sil like that and I've had to learn ( and its hard) that I just have to be thankful for what we have and we are passing good solid morals to our kids who will know how to save and Appreciate the things they have one day the karma bus will come from people like them
October 12, 2012 at 11:53 AMYour sister is trash. Be happy that in the long run your family us much better off.
Good luck with school and just try to avoid her.
I found it interesting that we can get food stamps the other day! I went to see if my DS could qualify for Medicaid again because the medical bills are starting to pile up from his specialist appt and our insurance isn't covering any of it :( I was shocked to see they recommended food stamps! I just signed up for the Medicaid for my DS though
by KatenemsmomOctober 12, 2012 at 11:56 AMOne day all those poor choices she is making is going to bite her in the ass. I bet she has so many credit cards it would make your head spin. The grass is not always greener. She is putting on a show and its as fragile as a house if cards. One wrong move and it will all come crashing down.
Stop focusing on her and enjoy the kids you already have.
by Anonymous 4October 12, 2012 at 11:58 AMI think we have the same sister
You're too involved in your sisters life and for some reason you're taking her life very personal. While I don't condone what your sister is doing, you sound very jealous. If you want to live the life your sister does then live it. If not, then shut up and let her. It's none of your business. She's your sister. Trust me when I say, she's irreplaceable.