Mom Confessions
Are you going to, or have you????
Replies
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yeah, having that trust violated is hard. i KNOW my mom read mine, and i know that my grandmother did too (she would break into our house and go through EVERYTHING), but at least they tried to be sneaky about it you know? they didnt blatantly rub it in my face, and they didnt try to humilate me, but it still made it difficult. i knew that i couldnt even write down what i was acutally going through. it was never the full truth.
Quoting Uzma_mom_of_2:
Thanks for the sympathy. It was awful.
That's why I couldn't do that to my own daughter. I want her to know I trust her. And unless she's doing something to make me doubt that trust I wouldn't want to risk it.
Quoting kissmiss213:
thats awful! im so sorry.
Quoting Uzma_mom_of_2:
Not unless I suspected something and she was getting into trouble and owuldn't talk to me about what was going on.
My mom did it too me, and went on to read it out loud to her boyfriend of the month and my brothers. I was humliated, and have never trusted her again. I still resent it, and it was 14 years ago.
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I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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I don't believe either of my teens keep a journal or diary. If they do it's well hidden :). I have read notes that were left out. I've never found anything good! Usually my kids get busted because somoene will messge them something on their facebook.
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Sure they are entitled to their own opinions etc etc. but If you want to keep it private then you keep it in yor head, not in a book that anybody can find and read. and most likley if i bought it i have the right to look in i no matter what u write in it. Now don't get me wrong, I was a teen too and i also kept a diary that my mom just so happend to read and fcourse i was embarrased and angry. But had I kept it to myself. I woulda spared her her hurt feelings and kept myself outta trouble. No diary=More privacy
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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No. Never. It's such a huge invasion of privacy and betrayal of trust.
My mother did that to me and it was the the very last shred of respect I had for the woman just snapped.
She read it to be cruel, no other reason. She read it outloud in front of my stepdad and my brother and then printed copies to give to my teachers at school.
I wasn't doing drugs. Wasn't having sex. I was angry and I was going through some things and she had no right.
The thing is, even if you think there IS something going on, doing that will only slam shut any chance of an open and honest relationship you might have had with them. How can they ever feel like they can trust you if you do that?
In my opinion it's one of the worst parenting moves a parent to a teen can make.
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It is a known fact that writing things down help to navigate and deal with problems. Keeping them "bottled up", only helps perpetuate the negative feelings and ideas. Diaries are a great way to release frustrations and angst. They're like sounding boards that don't judege. Sometimes our brains get so jumbled up that we cannot think straight. Writing things down help to organize and figure things out. Just because someone writes something down, it does not mean that they "want" someone to read it.
Quoting babyblue415:
Sure they are entitled to their own opinions etc etc. but If you want to keep it private then you keep it in yor head, not in a book that anybody can find and read. and most likley if i bought it i have the right to look in i no matter what u write in it. Now don't get me wrong, I was a teen too and i also kept a diary that my mom just so happend to read and fcourse i was embarrased and angry. But had I kept it to myself. I woulda spared her her hurt feelings and kept myself outta trouble. No diary=More privacy
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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Ahh I see what you did there. smart.! :) Yes ofcourse having things bottled up isn't good, I know that. I just think that the more privacy you get the more people are gonna wind up on 16 and pregnant except this time the show will be called 13 and pegnant. I just dont like the idea of a diary. now if they do get a diary then yes i will keep myself informed and read their diry. my roof my rules.
Quoting k_hall1784:It is a known fact that writing things down help to navigate and deal with problems. Keeping them "bottled up", only helps perpetuate the negative feelings and ideas. Diaries are a great way to release frustrations and angst. They're like sounding boards that don't judege. Sometimes our brains get so jumbled up that we cannot think straight. Writing things down help to organize and figure things out. Just because someone writes something down, it does not mean that they "want" someone to read it.
Quoting babyblue415:
Sure they are entitled to their own opinions etc etc. but If you want to keep it private then you keep it in yor head, not in a book that anybody can find and read. and most likley if i bought it i have the right to look in i no matter what u write in it. Now don't get me wrong, I was a teen too and i also kept a diary that my mom just so happend to read and fcourse i was embarrased and angry. But had I kept it to myself. I woulda spared her her hurt feelings and kept myself outta trouble. No diary=More privacy
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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I understand what you are implying, but just because a child writes down feelings and emotions, it does not mean that they are being "secretive" and are "hiding something", like it also doesn't mean having a boyfriend means sex is happening. I'm not saying kids need to be "left alone", but they do deserve a certain degree of "privacy".
Quoting babyblue415:
Ahh I see what you did there. smart.! :) Yes ofcourse having things bottled up isn't good, I know that. I just think that the more privacy you get the more people are gonna wind up on 16 and pregnant except this time the show will be called 13 and pegnant. I just dont like the idea of a diary. now if they do get a diary then yes i will keep myself informed and read their diry. my roof my rules.
Quoting k_hall1784:
It is a known fact that writing things down help to navigate and deal with problems. Keeping them "bottled up", only helps perpetuate the negative feelings and ideas. Diaries are a great way to release frustrations and angst. They're like sounding boards that don't judege. Sometimes our brains get so jumbled up that we cannot think straight. Writing things down help to organize and figure things out. Just because someone writes something down, it does not mean that they "want" someone to read it.
Quoting babyblue415:
Sure they are entitled to their own opinions etc etc. but If you want to keep it private then you keep it in yor head, not in a book that anybody can find and read. and most likley if i bought it i have the right to look in i no matter what u write in it. Now don't get me wrong, I was a teen too and i also kept a diary that my mom just so happend to read and fcourse i was embarrased and angry. But had I kept it to myself. I woulda spared her her hurt feelings and kept myself outta trouble. No diary=More privacy
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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You are right tho, I am just being ignorant and over protective. I have trust issues, I can't help it. My little ones are only 4 and 3 so I can't really see them as somewhat type of grown yet... I'm a horrible mom ain't I ?
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand what you are implying, but just because a child writes down feelings and emotions, it does not mean that they are being "secretive" and are "hiding something", like it also doesn't mean having a boyfriend means sex is happening. I'm not saying kids need to be "left alone", but they do deserve a certain degree of "privacy".
Quoting babyblue415:
Ahh I see what you did there. smart.! :) Yes ofcourse having things bottled up isn't good, I know that. I just think that the more privacy you get the more people are gonna wind up on 16 and pregnant except this time the show will be called 13 and pegnant. I just dont like the idea of a diary. now if they do get a diary then yes i will keep myself informed and read their diry. my roof my rules.
Quoting k_hall1784:
It is a known fact that writing things down help to navigate and deal with problems. Keeping them "bottled up", only helps perpetuate the negative feelings and ideas. Diaries are a great way to release frustrations and angst. They're like sounding boards that don't judege. Sometimes our brains get so jumbled up that we cannot think straight. Writing things down help to organize and figure things out. Just because someone writes something down, it does not mean that they "want" someone to read it.
Quoting babyblue415:
Sure they are entitled to their own opinions etc etc. but If you want to keep it private then you keep it in yor head, not in a book that anybody can find and read. and most likley if i bought it i have the right to look in i no matter what u write in it. Now don't get me wrong, I was a teen too and i also kept a diary that my mom just so happend to read and fcourse i was embarrased and angry. But had I kept it to myself. I woulda spared her her hurt feelings and kept myself outta trouble. No diary=More privacy
Quoting k_hall1784:
I understand all that you have just said. And you're right, you do have a right to know who your childs friends are and what they are doing. What I don't understand is, how a childs personal thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and ideas has anything to do with what you just said.
Quoting babyblue415:
Because last time i checked my kids were not paying rent or buying food. And if you are a child i have the right to know who your freinds are and who there parents are and u betta not be doing no stupid shit netiher. I gave you life and i can easily take it away too. wanna call cps? well then damn it let me dial da damn number for you. thats why.
Quoting k_hall1784:
Really? Why is that?
Quoting babyblue415:
i believe as long as you are under the age of 15 you have no privacy
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Quoting Quatrekins:
I would totally be all up in that diary, I am not going to lie. I would put everything back the way it was though, and not tell my teen. If I found anything worrisome, I would try to get my teen to be open and tell me about it; I always told my mom -everything-, because I never felt like she would freak out or stop loving me.
I am so glad you were not my mother.