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Anonymous
*ETA*My confession: My baby was born "early" on purpose.
by Anonymous
October 9, 2012 at 7:16 PM
My DS is now 6 months old and this is the first time I've ever admitted this; he was 4 weeks early and I made myself go into labor. He's my 2nd, and I was 36 weeks. I was miserable, HUGE, I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced at my OB appt the day before I decided to drink castor oil. OB said it was probably going to be weeks before DS was here, but my body could just tell he was ready. I'd been having contractions off and on for weeks. I'd heard about it, and after doing some research online, I figured what the hell. I got off work, bought some castor oil, mixed 2oz of it with 4 oz of orange juice and slammed it. Worst thing I've ever tasted.

I started having strong contractions about 4 hours later, and about 16 hours later I was holding my perfectly healthy, 8 lb 1 oz baby boy!

OB said I was lucky to not have gone another 4 weeks or he'd have been over 10 lbs and I wouldn't have been able to deliver vaginally. She's pretty sure they had my due date wrong.

I know it's stupid to rush your baby's birth and I don't suggest or recommend it to ANYONE. My husband still has no idea I did the castor oil.

There. There's my confession.

ETA; Because I'm not going to explain it 60 times, my OB didn't say it was IMPOSSIBLE to deliver a 10 lb baby. I'm well aware women do it all the time. However, *I* do not have a wide enough birth canal to barely accommodate an 8 lb baby, let alone 10 lbs. At 8 lbs 1 oz, delivery tore my pelvic floor muscle, tore my rectal muscle, I needed 40+ stitches, and broke my sons collar bone on the way out. My OB said had he gone another 4 weeks, I *PROBABLY* would've ended up with an emergency C section.
So I repeat, she never once told me no one in the history of the world has ever delivered a 10 lb baby, regardless of YOUR stature, YOUR experience, what you, your sister, your husbands long lost cousin was only 5'0" 90 lbs and gave birth to a 13 lb baby. Every woman's body is different and it makes me sad for the female race that this has to be explained.

Replies

  • IWantOneMorePlz
    October 22, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    I really don't get why Annon is busting your chops for having c-sections.  Was she in your Dr's office with you?  Did she go to the hospital with you?  No.  The decision to have a c-section needs to be made by mom and Dr.  reviewing pros and cons.  I had 2 c-sections.  1st one was an emergency, the 2nd one was a planned one considering my pelvic bones tilt inwards.  Isn't the most important thing to have a healthy baby?  

    Quoting momkelly2:

    If I need to clarify to suit you... you need to read better.   

    I said my first  was Premature AND Breech.  that situation,  with most drs is an automatic C-section.   and I was advised it was not safe for the baby to deliver, vaginally in the future.      so only one Baby was breech.   DS  (aka 2nd baby) was premature and frank... however recalling a comment made but not explained, by my first dr who advised me not to deliver vaginally I chose to have a c-section with baby #2... it had nothing to do with being premature.. it was a remembered comment and a gut feeling I should listen. 

    And by the way thank you.. it is because of people like you and comments like yours I carried guilt for that choice for over 20 years.     however two years ago when my current dr explained it was the best choice for my conditiion.    and the survival of my kids and I....    guilt gone.. and you can't bring that guilt back. 

    as for more detail in my first reply,  in my attempt to comfort the OP I did not feel it was necessary to explain my anatomy to everyone..    your responce with WTF......etc.   prompted further explaination.  

    and ........wow I only said it once... you know the history thing and survival..   don't want to repeat..  and upset you...      wow..    sorry it was too many times for you.....   and I did not say that all women died in child birth..  but many did..   obviously  the greater precentage survived.   DUH!!!     And I would have been one of them to not survive, if I was alive at that time.     also..  the rate of child birth was much higher in families,   so more childern were born, which kind of insured the population going forward.  do recall  it was a time before the advent of birth control so it was not uncommon to give birth to several more children than were actually  raised.       

    oh  and ....   just incase you don't want to scroll down to my original post..... here is the quote from my post  typo and all...  
    "dd was premature and breach so automatic C-section.  DS was more of a choice.. but it was a gut choice....  

    really glad my horse is not so high and mighty as yours is!

    Oh and still  Anonymous I see..  

    Quoting Anonymous:

    First of all you simply said your babies were premature and breech and therefore implying that if one of those two things occur, everyone must have a c-section. Fix your wording and explain better next time.

    You should educate yourself on how a baby breathes if you truly believe a baby can suffocate before being exposed to oxygen with no cord pinching. Going back to my original statement, breech is safe.

    And finally, stop bringing up the "women died every day in the past" line. Historians are notorious for changing facts and everyone knows it's MUCH easier to talk about the negatives of something vs the positives. If it was so darn dangerous, we would have died out a long time ago.

    Quoting momkelly2:

    First of all... all I wanted was to comfort a woman who made a choice.     and likely a good choice for herself.  

    secondly... I DID NOT FORCE MY BABIES TO BE BORN EARLY!!!!     and breech can be a safe option but it is not always a safe option!! in my case it would have caused death of one or both of us.   

    for both of my babies, My water broke..  and I went into labor early!  I did not Force them outl.

     I didn't go into detail initially...  .. but I   was born bicornuate..fully bicornuate... which means I had two uteri, two cervices and two vaginas.   what I didn't know until my bits were removed 2 years ago(Cancer btw) was there was a twist.   the left uterus went to the right cervix.. and the right uterus went to the left cervix.  So you might say My circumstances are a bit different than most women.

    so  I had issues.   my DD being breech WAS GOD's BLESSING!!!  When I had my hysterectomy which, by the way I went through menopause naturally no drugs.. no hormones...  nothing... I planed on keeping my parts   nearly bled out one month; kind of Peri menopause hell for 3 yrs before my cycles stopped... but refused to go to the dr over it because I was    trying to stay drug free and do it the natural way..  and knew they would recommend a hysterectomy.    3years after I was menopausal   ...  well,  all I can say is, Cancer does rule some times.

    as for breech being safe.. they do not take the chance that the baby comes part way and the cervix doesn't let the the shoulders and head out.      the baby can suffocate before they can retrieve the baby.      but that all aside... with the twist in my uteri.  my Current dr said that it was a good choice not to have delivered because I would have lost either the baby... myself or both of us had I ever tried to deliver.    so I am saying my instincts and my choice was right for me and the two incredible kids that I have raised.  

    I did not deliver early on purpose..   my kids came 4 weeks early  and I didn't want them early..   in fact I was pretty determined to have dd as close to her due date as possible.    because I have two uteri .. they are actually two halves of a whole..   and so the stress to carry one child for me was the same as a woman carrying twins...  because there is less room..  they come early.   BTW....  NO struggles. no issues.. no health issues..  NOTHING..  perfectly healthy kids.. and intelligent adults.   

    as for my  cousin's baby.. that story is reality..   it is what happened..  and it took over a year for her to get back to some sense of normal..  and I am not talking pre baby weight... she suffered for a long time as she had to recover from all she had been through..  She didn't complain but you could see  it in her.   She and baby are fine now...  but she paid for having the baby late... 

     and yes there are women who can deliver 10lb babies..  there are also women who can't deliver 8lb babies.   my SIL is one who could not..   both boys taken by c-section after she tried for two days...  

    so really do you know so very much? wake up.. yes some women jump to soon...  some drs advise to quickly,  to an alternative measure...    but for some of us it is life saving....     and why should a woman be torn or grossly manipulated .. because someone thinks it is better to come naturally...    you do realize that women used to die  during child birth at an alarming rate in the past..     with that past I would likely have been one of those who didn't make it.    had it been and earlier century.

    my SIL would have died with the baby inside of her....      and my cousin as well...   with modern medicine,  thank God they knew enough to save her and her  beautiful little girl..... but at one point  her husband was made to leave the room and didn't know if he would loose both of them..   

     and at 10lbs..  it is not really early..     and I would dub thee Saint ________    but you chose to be anonymous...        at least I'm not ashamed to post my real name.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    WTF so because baby is premature lets GUARANTEE her to have a rough start by FORCING her out early??? And you know, breech is a safe option!!!

    Just because a baby is over 10 lbs doesn't mean they have to do all that crap. My gosh, you two are easily manipulated!!

    Quoting momkelly2:

    honey...  not that c-sections are all bad had two of them.   and before anyone yells...   dd was premature and breach so automatic C-section.  DS was more of a choice.. but it was a gut choice....    20+ years later I found out had I tried to deliver either child vaginally one or both of us wouldn't be here today.   so DD being breach WAS God's blessing in more ways than one.

    now as far as your child...  my cousin had a child that was over 10lbs...  the dr let her go too long.    she finally begged to have her membranes stripped.     she delivered the beautiful baby girl...  how ever...  inorder to deliver that child they dislocated the baby's shoulder, sent the dad from the room and had to warp her pelvis oval shape to get the baby out.   she had progressed too far to have a c-section. 

    you did what you felt you needed to to.   not the best move in many cases... but what was needed for your own safety, and recovery.   had you had a 4lb...  6 weeks early child..  that would be one thing.   you had a fully developed child that needed to be born.  

    mine were both 4 weeks early...   (not my choice by the way they both picked their birthdays on their own)   and they are fine healthy adults!!    they were early...   under 5lbs each...  but they were healthy with well developed lungs.      early is not always bad...   

    and like I made a choice with DS...  you maded the choice you needed to make...   and by the sounds of it you made the right choice.        I carried a twinge of guilt for years that Maybe I should have tried to deliver DS...   but   when I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago..... I found out there was a problem and that guilt is long gone.    it no longer haunts me.   and I feel so blessed that DD was premature and breech....     which set up the plan to have DS the sameway...  

    Drop your guilt... enjoy your baby!!!!







  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    October 23, 2012 at 2:35 PM
    Wow...I see major red flags here! First of all I don't appreciate your tone! I was only trying to clarify and point out obvious deficiencies in your Dr, apparently you have have some as well!! Secondly measurements are taken of your baby two ways the first is when you have an ultra sound done, secondly the last trimester of your pregnancy your Dr should be using a tape measure to chart your bellies growth. These are both good indications of how your fetus is progressing and approximate size. If you didn't have this done then you either didn't go to your appointments or your Ob is a complete moron!


    Quoting Sharkgirl7:

    Oh tell me oh wise one how the doc would have known the baby's measurements before it was born??

    Quoting Anonymous:

    After reading there are several points I would like to respond to. First and foremost I'm sorry that you seemed to have had an extremely rough labor. This concerns me however that your Dr. didn't approach you about scheduling an induction (given the babies measurements) any competent OBGYN would have taken a serious look at this issue! And this is assuming that you were diligent in attending ALL of your appointments. Secondly, the Castor oil is completely an old wives tale. The only thing that will do is make your bowels move. You say you were miserable? Well the Castor oil will definitely make that feeling worse! As a former OB Nurse I've seen and heard it all. Please don't fall for and believe everything you read off the internet. Best sources for these types of concerns or issues is with your family physician and it never hurts to get a randomly selected Dr for a second opinion!



  • Sharkgirl7
    October 25, 2012 at 3:10 PM
    I never said I didn't have them done but I'm pointing out that's a dangerously inaccurate way to determine baby's size and therefore when baby should be born.

    The only accurate way of knowing baby's size is after he/she is born


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Wow...I see major red flags here! First of all I don't appreciate your tone! I was only trying to clarify and point out obvious deficiencies in your Dr, apparently you have have some as well!! Secondly measurements are taken of your baby two ways the first is when you have an ultra sound done, secondly the last trimester of your pregnancy your Dr should be using a tape measure to chart your bellies growth. These are both good indications of how your fetus is progressing and approximate size. If you didn't have this done then you either didn't go to your appointments or your Ob is a complete moron!




    Quoting Sharkgirl7:

    Oh tell me oh wise one how the doc would have known the baby's measurements before it was born??

    Quoting Anonymous:

    After reading there are several points I would like to respond to. First and foremost I'm sorry that you seemed to have had an extremely rough labor. This concerns me however that your Dr. didn't approach you about scheduling an induction (given the babies measurements) any competent OBGYN would have taken a serious look at this issue! And this is assuming that you were diligent in attending ALL of your appointments. Secondly, the Castor oil is completely an old wives tale. The only thing that will do is make your bowels move. You say you were miserable? Well the Castor oil will definitely make that feeling worse! As a former OB Nurse I've seen and heard it all. Please don't fall for and believe everything you read off the internet. Best sources for these types of concerns or issues is with your family physician and it never hurts to get a randomly selected Dr for a second opinion!



  • cassdw
    by cassdw
    October 25, 2012 at 11:00 PM

    I confess I tried it (castor oil) and it put me into labor.  I was 39 weeks and didn't want another C-Section.  Luckily it was so awful that I only took one dose and it was only 3T, because hard labor would "probably have ended in an emergency C-Section", we ended up with a C-Section anyway, unfortunately, but at least it wasn't an "emergency" one, just a well advised one!

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 11, 2012 at 9:40 PM

    so you got your do due date wrong, does that mean that its possible to be someone ele's baby?

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 18, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    Castor Oil doesn't really work. Unless your baby is ready to come out, they are not going to come out. I drank Castor oil on my due date and the baby didn't come out for a week and they had to induce me becuase she was too big. It didn't mess up my bowls but I heard it definitely does in most cases.

  • Mudpie123
    November 23, 2012 at 8:51 AM

    My first child was 10lbs.

  • hippiecrit
    December 7, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    I don't think you made yourself go into labor. I did the same thing during my first pregnancy- not so dramatically "early". It gave me horrid diarhea but it did not put me into labor. I would guess you probably did have a mistaken due date, and you were probably already in early labor. I know dilation can happen long before your due date, but I don't think that normally happens a whole month early in a healthy pregnancy.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    December 7, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    Your OB is a fkn idiot, and so are you. YOU can deliver a 10 lb baby. What self bi**hes some people are. You try and wait so long for a baby and do the most ignorant, harmful thing you can. DUMB!

  • CowboysAngel02
    December 24, 2012 at 8:01 PM


    Quoting Levimama11:

    I tried doing the same thing. but no matter what i tried, i couldnt kickstart labor. i never had contractions or anything. at 37 weeks they started monitoring his estimated size and at that first appointment they estimate he was around 8 lbs. but they didnt want to induce me or anything. Then i went for my 39 week check up and my  OB said that my son was right around 10 pounds. so i either had to try to give birth naturally, which would include either breaking my hip bone or my sons collar bone which could lead to complications down the road for either option, or have a csection. csection was not in my birth plan. but i was scared enough by the situation, I didn't want them to have to break his colar bone or my hip, so i opted for the csection. 


    I give you kudos for following your instinct and being able to have your son early. trust me, if i had that option, i would have done the same thing

    You poor thing! You must not be very broad in the hips. I was fortunate to be able to deliver vaginally. My 2nd son was 10lbs 10oz. Did you have any more kids or did that have a dramatic effect on you? I ask cause I have a friend who VOLUNTARILY had a C-Secction when she could have had her DD vaginally. I dont understand since I never had a C-Section.

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