Mom Confessions

AnnieMcD
Someone help me figure out how to deal with this politely, before I have to slap a birch.
October 9, 2012 at 10:42 AM

As some of you may remember we have a new neighbor. I started off relations with her by introducing myself, and then advising her that my husband has Asperger's and that sometimes he "melts down". He's never violent, but he yells. Loudly. 

She said she used to be a nurse, and that she understood perfectly. 

Her first weekend here she invited my son and me to come outside and play with her and her granddaughter. She was nice enough, but made several comments which got under my skin. Very condescending, holier than thou comments, including telling my son "These kids don't know what Angry Birds is, these are kids that play outside." 

A few days later some things happened early in the morning which caused my husband and I to have an argument. We were loud and inconsiderate at a very early hour, and I can fully understand her being pissed that we woke her up. But she called our house, and when I apologized to her she asked me three different times if I needed her to "call the police for" me. I told her no, thank you for your concern. We're loud, but not violent. I apologized again, and husband and I cooled down. 

Since then we've done everything we can to be polite and friendly with her.

Sunday night, my roommate and I got into a minor argument because of the fucking dog that his daughter brought home. There was yelling and cussing. At 8pm for about 5-7 minutes. Then we were done. Laughing and smiling after that.

The bitch called the police on us.

The police came and asked if everything was ok. We told them what was going on, and even the cop rolled his eyes that she called. 

Yesterday I was standing on my porch allowing my son to go into our backyard to get his backpack. I was watching him, and I saw that she came pulling (like a bat out of hell) into our driveway. So I called out for the Boy to stop where he was and wait for her to park. She saw him, and pulled back OUT of the driveway, after she had already parked. Then she signalled for him to come across, so he did. He waited for her to park and when she got out he thanked her for letting him cross. 

She said "Oh, I would never ever ever EVER hurt you! I'm keeping an EYE OUT for you. And it's my JOB to protect you and keep you safe." 

She said a few other things, but they were all along the same lines. All the time she's glaring up at me on my porch.

No bitch, it's not your job to keep my son safe. You're a motherfucking STRANGER. We've known you for all of 2 weeks. It's MY JOB to keep my son safe, and it's your job to keep your nose out of my motherfucking business. <~~~ This is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was sweet and I called out "thank you" and she ignored me and walked into the house. 

The dog is out of our home now, and that is going to greatly diminsh the stress we've all been under. But I do not want to live somewhere where this woman is going to call the police whenever someone says fuck a little too loud for her liking.

Someone tell me how to deal with her politely, but still draw the line, especially when it comes to my son? 

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    October 9, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Your home is full of people screaming at one another, aspergers or not, it's unacceptable. She's scared for the kids, make the fighting/yelling/screaming stop and the police won't have to be called. Obviously I don't know you personally but the entire post is filled with stories of the people in your home freaking out and swearing/screaming at one another. If the kids are there to see/hear this, I completely get why she's concerned. It probably sounds like you're being abused on her side of the wall.

  • AnnieMcD
    October 9, 2012 at 10:52 AM

     I get what you're saying, and we have discussed this fully in our home. Husband hasn't broken down even once since the first morning she called us, and I spoke to roomie last night and told him that's unacceptable behavior for anyone in our home.

    However, she doesn't know us. We had a couple of bad weeks. We have been loud twice, once was for less than 10 minutes. It's not like we were screaming for 10 hours in the middle of the night.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Your home is full of people screaming at one another, aspergers or not, it's unacceptable. She's scared for the kids, make the fighting/yelling/screaming stop and the police won't have to be called. Obviously I don't know you personally but the entire post is filled with stories of the people in your home freaking out and swearing/screaming at one another. If the kids are there to see/hear this, I completely get why she's concerned. It probably sounds like you're being abused on her side of the wall.

     

  • conweis
    by conweis
    October 9, 2012 at 10:52 AM
    Move to the ghetto
    No one will give a damn LOL
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    October 9, 2012 at 10:53 AM
    I agree.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Your home is full of people screaming at one another, aspergers or not, it's unacceptable. She's scared for the kids, make the fighting/yelling/screaming stop and the police won't have to be called. Obviously I don't know you personally but the entire post is filled with stories of the people in your home freaking out and swearing/screaming at one another. If the kids are there to see/hear this, I completely get why she's concerned. It probably sounds like you're being abused on her side of the wall.


  • melissa632
    October 9, 2012 at 10:56 AM
    Right? They'll even cheer you on...lol! ;)

    Quoting conweis:

    Move to the ghetto

    No one will give a damn LOL
  • shivasgirl
    October 9, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    you need tomove...go to Florida, I will be there as soon as I get out of school

  • AnnieMcD
    October 9, 2012 at 10:58 AM

     Fuck that, I am never moving to FL. And I have lots of friends there. No way.

    Quoting shivasgirl:

    you need tomove...go to Florida, I will be there as soon as I get out of school

     

  • -42-
    by -42-
    October 9, 2012 at 10:58 AM
    I didn't read that. I always vote 'slap a bitch' when it's a given option.
  • AubreeGrace17
    October 9, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    I think if you guys can stop being loud a lot of your problems will go away.

  • Babujai
    by Babujai
    October 9, 2012 at 11:01 AM

     Unfortunately you only get one chance at a first impression.  It'll take time and a lot of positive/peaceful experiences to counteract her first impression of your household.  You can't change her thoughts/actions, just yours.  Try to accept that you guys haven't shown her your best selves and then hit restart on your own actions.  Try to forget the calls to the police, snide remarks and ugly looks and treat her like she's the best neighbor ever.  Eventually you'll win her over...or you won't.  If you don't, at least you'll know YOU did everything you could.

Mom Confessions