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I don't feel bad for her.
by Anonymous
October 9, 2012 at 12:44 AM

My sister lost her kids almost a year ago. It'll be a year in 2 weeks. It was in large part to something that her boyfriend did, but she never opened up and explained what happened to authorities. She sat on it, and while not protecting him, per say, she wasn't doing anything to help the case against him, either.

Anyway, she has been doing the bare minimum over the past 9 months or so to get her kids back. Her son was only a couple months old at the time, and her daughter was almost school age. She has known since June that one requirement was that she find a suitable living arrangement that included 2 or 3 bedrooms. There were location restrictions as well. She spent from June to early October talking about it, hearing suggestions, and shooting them down.

She figured my aunt would let her and the kids move in with her, but she shot herself in the foot with that one, when she accused our special needs cousin of something. The state will not approve my aunt's home as a possibility.

She had a deadline of September 4th, and watched it pass. They extended it to Oct 1st, and she watched it pass. Today, she's freaking out, because they have given her a hard deadline of 15 days to find, move in, and make livable a home for her two children. If she can't do it, they will be removed from her care permenently.

She has had a full time job making $15/hour, no rent, but she had an eviction on her record that won't be removed until she pays over $1500 in back rent. She also has been required to pay CS to the state over the past year, and she's over $6000 in arrears for CS.

But of course, her nails are always freshly manicured, her clothes are always new, her hair freshly cut and colored every few weeks. She is always complaining that she's broke, and has all these bills, but she was making more than enough to pay them off while she worked, during the time when she didn't have the apartment. She has been bouncing back and forth, living with various family members over the last year- no rent, no utilities, just CS and back debt.

And I don't feel remotely bad for her.


  • kkps725
    by kkps725
    October 9, 2012 at 2:00 AM
    Sounds like she made her bed and gets to lay in it now..
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    October 9, 2012 at 2:02 AM
    Wow, that's rough. At least they're with family! I know how stressful this kind of situation is, I'm dealing with it myself as well. I have my nieces because their parents are inept. :-/

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Our brother took custody of them the night my nephew wound up in the hospital, and has had them since. He and his SO had to become licensed foster care providers, and have to deal with all of the court dates, TONS of medical appointments, counseling appointments, plus visitations from 1 dad (the kids each have a different dad, neither of which was in the picture before hand- the dad who now is has missed out on a LOT of his daughter's life due to my sister denying him access), and my sister.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Where are the kids?

  • Mommyof2114
    October 9, 2012 at 2:21 AM
    That is so sad. I feel so bad for the kids and hope they get to stay together. It seems like the little girls dad might get her since he is getting visits. How sad for them.
  • Anonymous 8
    by Anonymous 8
    October 9, 2012 at 9:59 AM
    my cousin went through a similar situation, they gave her three chances to get her kids back after they were taken. she was too busy partying, and lost custody. it didnt really hit her until about three years after that. she is changed now and i love her still, but she will never have her kids again. she actually isnt even allowed to see her kids, but has fpund teo of them through facebook who are teens now ad meets up with them. anyway, yeah i know how you feel. i didnt feel sorry for my cousin, but now that she is clean, i kinda do cause i know how bad her heart aches for them. i just wish she would have gotten her act together sooner.
  • Anonymous 8
    by Anonymous 8
    October 9, 2012 at 10:11 AM
    that is so awesome that your brother stepped up and is taking care of them! do they plan on adopting them if she loses custody permanently?
  • firespurity
    October 9, 2012 at 11:20 AM
    You will remind him that his grandmother did. Because he deserved the someones who did care.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I know exactly what you mean...I have a friend who keeps losing custody of her son to her mom and she doesn't even care..she's had multiple chances to get him back,but she doesn't try. She prefers to drink,run around with strange men and just generally neglect her duties as a mother. She doesn't work,she lives completely off the stamps, WIC,Medicaid,her housing is paid for,her bills,her cellphone, everything.

    I just feel bad for her son because his dad has chosen not to be in his life and now his mom is shirking her responsibilites too. I just wonder how he will feel in ten years when he realizes that neither of his parents cared enough to fight for him.


  • TarantulaTress
    October 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM
    That's what I was going to ask.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    that is so awesome that your brother stepped up and is taking care of them! do they plan on adopting them if she loses custody permanently?

  • Bird16_J
    October 9, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    wow those poor kids! What a loser that she wouldn't even TRY to get them back! Sounds like they're better off with someone who will actually give a shit about them! And seriously her bf was more important than KEEPING her children?! what a cunt I hope she loses them and they go to someone who will actually care about them!

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    October 9, 2012 at 12:27 PM
    Quoting Anonymous:

    that is so awesome that your brother stepped up and is taking care of them! do they plan on adopting them if she loses custody permanently?

    That had been the original plan last year, but since then, my niece's father is in the picture now. He will likely get first chance at adopting just her. Sadly, it would mean the kids would be split up, though :(

    Right now, the family is hoping for the best situation, and preparing for the worst. We also have a family member who is distantly related (he would be my mom's second cousin) who has done fostering and adopting in the past. He is close enough that we know we would be able to see the kids, but lives about 3 hours away from where the kids are now, so it would be harder to for my sister to just drop by and give them grief.

    Ideally, my brother will adopt both, but I do know that all of the weight of the family drama has weighed very heavily on him, so until the situation arrives, I think he could go either way.

    I could probably adopt both, but I was unable to foster because I did not live in the same county where the case was, and that was one of the conditions at the start. I am a 75-90 minute drive away, hich also would have made the appointments hard, of which there were 5-6 a week at first, and 3-4 a week now.

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