Bil apparently has been really depressed lately and been having suicidal thoughts. How do I know this..? Sil told me he mentioned it to her. Reasons: parents just went through a divorce, older brother and sister moved out of the house and now have kids and lives of their own, gf dumped him after she found out he was with multiple girls, his dad has a new gf, mom drinks and doesn't have time for him, two of his cousins passed away one from a motorcycle accident and the other a suicide by hanging, almost didn't graduate hs he wasn't able to walk across the stage but he still passed. The list goes on and on.
Anyways, I brought up this conversation to his mother (my mil) and she flat out told me its none of my business, if he didn't directly come to me for help I need to keep my nose out of it. She also told me he's really just acting out because he hates his dads new gf. And she left it at that.
I'm sorry but if someone brings it to my attention that someone else might possibly be suicidal, I think the issue needs to be addressed.
If she's a heavy drinker, it could easily be affecting her judgements. That's sad but entirely too common for many families. :(
Sorry for all of this. Family drama can be stressful.
We were always pretty close until the divorce was final. Dh is closer to his dad so we spend more time with him. She took it as I chose a side and it was the wrong side. But she still has the same relationship with my dh. She is very self centered and I think that has a lot to do with it. Also she drinks and I'm afraid that's causing poor judgement when its concerning her children
Have you always had a distant relationship with MIL? Has she always attempted to make you feel like an outsider?
I wouldn't have left it at that and I would have said something further to the effect of, "I'm simply concerned and wondering if as a family, if there is anything we can do to help him?"
She sounds aloof and totally unaware of potential problems with her son.
October 8, 2012 at 9:44 AM
Hate to say it but shes right let your sil or dh deal with it!
It happened to my bosses son, except it wasn't in his words but his action, first the separation, they each found new mates, but they forgot about him, his grades in college were slipping, his girlfriend dropped him, then when he came home for the Christmas holiday break, both parents were taking separate vacations of course with their respective new mates., they dropped some cash on him as a gift and told him to have a good holiday.and when my boss came home to park her car, he was in his, doors locked, windows up car running him dead he did leave a note, it was determined suicide, the note analyzed that he had a fatal case of depression. had they talked to him instead of brushing off his mood change they would have known to act to get him help. when a person tells someone, they are closer to the means of how to do it.
bullshit. talk to your bil. you may be the one to save him. how will you feel if he does it and you did nothing because some crotitchy old woman was too busy sticking her thumb up her own ass?
sorry, I'm military, and suicide hits me hard. if you have any idea that he may be considering it, don't let any one but him stop you from helping him. if he has a church, get his pastor/preacher involved. fuck people who think it's not your business. that's your family.
Are you and your BIL close? I'm decently close to mine, but I would tell my DF first. But there's a reason my BIL (more or less) is in counseling already and such. And my MIL told me that bc I was concerned about how out of control he was 2 years ago, how he was trying to get me to buy him and his buddies alcohol. (He's a senior now).
But my in laws are very open. I wouldn't want it any other way.