I know I am going to get bashed for this but... Its not that hard to be a SAHM.
I had four children under the age of 6. But still when my (now deceased) Dh got home the kids had been bathed and were in their Pjs. Tea was ready within 10 mins after he walked in the door. I'd take his plate and make him a coffee. The house would be clean and tidy. (although you could tell there was children living there. We had a big playroom that the kids would tidy up each day)
I would spend quality time with the kids. We would sing songs and dance to the Wiggles. We would go to the park and be amazed at the daffodils. They would play outside while I (at 41 weeks pregnant) would mow the lawns and chopped the wood. They would 'help' me with the dishes.
I am NOT saying that my Dh was right in letting me do all the chores and cooking. Looking back it was selfish of him. But I loved him and I wanted life at home to be a peaceful happy place. I was always terrified if things weren't right he would be gone. He took his own life 8yrs ago and if I am ever lucky enough to have a new relationship you can bet your @ss he will be helping with the kids and the house.
That said.. it was managable. I have 4 children, 2 of them with pervasive devalopment disorders. I had PND. I pretty much have no family to help. But it was fun and we were happy. Some times my friends would come and i'd get to go to the supermarket with no kids! The joy of getting a basket to get my groceries instead of a double trolley and kids trailing behind! But I was always happy to get back to my kids. And I am proud of the fact I can peel a potato and breastfeed at the same time.!!
My kids are teenagers now. Its a different kind of happy. I no longer have the kids full time. But there are other things in my life now. I don't remember feeling particulary overwhelmed. Maybe I am looking back with Rose Tinted Glasses.
I love being a sahm. I've been a working mom too. I think being a sahm.is harder. My daughter is 3 can't walk, talk, has to eat by g tube, no crawling or sitting, has seizures, low muscle tone. So it's a lot of me helping her to sit and play, lots of lifting. She's heavy. I think it d be fun to be able to play, you.know like run around, etc. but I spend most of my days trying hard to get her caught up motor skills wise. I keep up with cleaning, cooking, and our 5 pets too.
Your right, its not HARD, but can sure damn well be overwhelming at times. And also not EVERY woman is the same. Some can handle stress and chaos differently then others. I can usually do ok. But there are times when i am at my wits end and need help. DH helps out A LOT. He will come home, sometimes help with dinner, put the kids in the shower as i clean up from dinner, helps put them to bed. On weekends, he gets up with them in the morning, helps cook breakfast, helps me clean around the house. I cant always do it ALL by myself.
When I was a SAHM, life was a cake walk. Now I work 60+ hours a week and when I get home, I have to care for my kids, my disabled SO, and do most of the house work. It's even harder now that I am pregnant. Emotionally though, I'm in a better state working than I was when I stayed home. It was draining.
I have one child (2yo DD) whom we believe has PDD-NOS. She is going for her first appt tomorrow. I don't doubt what you're saying, I just fail to see how it will ever happen for me. 2yo DD has frequent meltdowns and I'm losing my mind bit by bit. I also have a 6mo baby and a homeschooled 3rd grader. It doesn't help that I have mental issues myself. Things were pretty easy when she was about 18m but in the last few months (she's 2yrs 5mo) things have gotten very difficult.