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Anonymous
Its not that hard to be a SAHM.......
by Anonymous
October 7, 2012 at 9:52 PM

I know I am going to get bashed for this but... Its not that hard to be a SAHM.

I had four children under the age of 6.  But still when my (now deceased) Dh got home the kids had been bathed and were in their Pjs. Tea was ready within 10 mins after he walked in the door. I'd take his plate and make him a coffee. The house would be clean and tidy. (although you could tell there was children living there. We had a big playroom that the kids would tidy up each day)

I would spend quality time with the kids. We would sing songs and dance to the Wiggles. We would go to the park and be amazed at the daffodils. They would play outside while I (at 41 weeks pregnant) would mow the lawns and chopped the wood. They would 'help' me with the dishes.

I am NOT saying that my Dh was right in letting me do all the chores and cooking. Looking back it was selfish of him. But I loved him and I wanted life at home to be a peaceful happy place. I was always terrified if things weren't right he would be gone. He took his own life 8yrs ago and if I am ever lucky enough to have a new relationship you can bet your @ss he will be helping with the kids and the house.

That said.. it was managable.  I have 4 children, 2 of them with pervasive devalopment disorders. I had PND.  I pretty much have no family to help. But it was fun and we were happy. Some times my friends would come and i'd get to go to the supermarket with no kids!  The joy of getting a basket to get my groceries instead of a double trolley and kids trailing behind!  But I was always happy to get back to my kids. And I am proud of the fact I can peel a potato and breastfeed at the same time.!!

My kids are teenagers now. Its a different kind of happy.  I no longer have the kids full time. But there are other things in my life now. I don't remember feeling particulary overwhelmed.  Maybe I am looking back with Rose Tinted Glasses.

Anybody else think SAHM in not that bad?

Replies

  • mylovey
    by mylovey
    October 8, 2012 at 7:13 AM

    I don't think it is hard. I think it has its challenges, but I love being home all and all. 

  • r_brooks86
    October 8, 2012 at 7:20 AM
    Its not hard at all physically its just mentally draining at times (especially when you only talk to a 2 year old all day) and I seriously believe that can wear on you more than the physical work.
  • jen2150
    by jen2150
    October 8, 2012 at 7:39 AM

    I love being a SAHM.  I am extremely busy but I always manage time for myself.  I am currently homeschooling my two boys.  They are 8 and 10 years old.  I enjoy all the learning and traveling we are able to do together.  I also have a great husband so that makes it more fun as well.  I have time to do a lot more things for myself.  I am currently working on getting my black belt in karate.  I just started going back to the gym as well.  Life is good.  I don't ever get bored for very long.  I have many interests and things I can do.  I love to read nonfiction and fiction.  I make sure I take time to read everyday.  I really don't understand how people can say staying home is boring.  Maybe that is because I am seldom home all day.  

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  That has got to be beyond hard.  I can't even imagine.

  • baquick
    by baquick
    October 8, 2012 at 8:38 AM
    That seriously sucks. I'd be sooooo pissed.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    yup. who else would do it? Not MY husband. Also I thought it might put me in labour.  Had to chop the wood up so they had plenty while I was in hospital having baby.. I know, its seems lame but that was the situation.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Uh.... You mowed and chopped wood at 41 weeks pregnant.


    Ok then.


  • Melinda32
    October 8, 2012 at 8:45 AM
    I have found a happy medium, I love being at home but I also love being at work so I now work 3 days a week :)
  • jenann34
    October 8, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    I'm a SAHM and I don't find it hard but emotionally taxing. Being home is great in the sense that I can have a more leisurely day and get the house work done but being home everyday all day takes an emotional toll. 

  • mommynmarch2010
    October 8, 2012 at 9:02 AM

    it is isn't difficult, overwhelming at times...especially when my daughter is having a bad day...i love it, the money would be better if i was working, but it is totally worth it...working on getting a schedule now...so we'll see : )

  • Aamy
    by Aamy
    October 8, 2012 at 9:20 AM
    My DD has ADHD as well and is 6 and My son is 1 1/2.

    Quoting Mamaof3and1tobe:

    This to a T right on down to the hubby part!!!



    I have 4 kids. Ages 9, 6, 2, and 8 months. One has ADHD and ODD. Her alone can be very tough to handle.



    You just have to keep in mind that what works for you does not mean that it will work for others. Why? Because everyone is DIFFERENT.




    Quoting Aamy:

    Your right, its not HARD, but can sure damn well be overwhelming at times. And also not EVERY woman is the same. Some can handle stress and chaos differently then others. I can usually do ok. But there are times when i am at my wits end and need help. DH helps out A LOT. He will come home, sometimes help with dinner, put the kids in the shower as i clean up from dinner, helps put them to bed. On weekends, he gets up with them in the morning, helps cook breakfast, helps me clean around the house. I cant always do it ALL by myself. 


  • brettsmomma
    October 8, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    I find being a SAHM to be extremely easy. However a woman needs great time management skills to make it easy. Not all women are cut out for this and you should make them feel badly if they find it stressful.

  • Aamy
    by Aamy
    October 8, 2012 at 9:25 AM
    You answered your own question, your seldom home ...... Not all of us are out running around all day everyday. I get out maybe once a week if that. I don't go shopping everyday, how many times can you walk the mall? Again, everyone is different. Glad you ate happy and never bored, doesn't mean we all live your life.

    Quoting jen2150:

    I love being a SAHM.  I am extremely busy but I always manage time for myself.  I am currently homeschooling my two boys.  They are 8 and 10 years old.  I enjoy all the learning and traveling we are able to do together.  I also have a great husband so that makes it more fun as well.  I have time to do a lot more things for myself.  I am currently working on getting my black belt in karate.  I just started going back to the gym as well.  Life is good.  I don't ever get bored for very long.  I have many interests and things I can do.  I love to read nonfiction and fiction.  I make sure I take time to read everyday.  I really don't understand how people can say staying home is boring.  Maybe that is because I am seldom home all day.  

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  That has got to be beyond hard.  I can't even imagine.

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