Mom Confessions

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krunchykorn
Sometimes I'm so depressed I wanna just die.
October 4, 2012 at 7:32 AM

Myself, DF, DS (2yrs), My mother, Her Partner and my 4 siblings (16yrs Girl, 11yrs Boy, 9yrs Girl and 5yrs Girl) all live together in a house that is Dual Living (two houses in one) but I NEED out.

I'm sick of being screamed at, Being told by mum that I'm not a decent mother yet I feed, Bath, Dress, Change, completely care for my son and she only says this when shes mad or that I'm a worthless daughter. I will go out maybe once a month with DF but thats when DS is asleep and doesnt even know we have left him. I pay my way by far! We pay $1000 towards the household monthly and on top of that I pay for meals for everyone, Take them out for dinner and such.

She tells me that shes starting to not like her own grandson because "she" is forced to take care of him and I swear to god she doesn't I DO.

Everytime I'm mad I try and walk away she follows me screaming at me, calling me names and telling me that she will tell the world how much of a disgrace I am.

I want to cry. I want her to be proud of me.

I paid for ALL the kids haircuts this week because she could not afford them and they really needed them. I give her A LOT of extra money without DF knowing and Just lie to him about where it goes.

I'm Destroying my relationship with my own guilt because I want my mum to lay off me.

2 year old DS see all of this and I DONT WANT HIM GROWING AROUND IT!

My sister is a spoilt brat that gets anything she wants. I mean anything.

For her 16th Birthday she got over $500 spend on her and all she does is scream at my mum, steal my make-up and tells everyone their cunts, moles, fuckwits ect ect.

I think she hates me because I had my first baby at 16yrs old and that shameful. But I am not on welfare, I do not leave my son with her ever, I take care of him, I pay for everything for him, I'm drug free and yet I still feel like a bad mom thats failing.

Sometimes we have really good days. Others are just fucked up.

I can get a bank loan of $156,000 with monthly repayments of $900.00 cheaper then what we pay here and the extra money I secretly hand over and we can buy a house but DF job is only on call at the hospital so I dont know if I should take the chance of not having the money one month.

If you have a nasty comment to me about any of this put it in a tasteful way so I can work on whatever it is please.

Everyone just puts me down all the time

Replies

  • crazymom21
    October 4, 2012 at 7:36 AM
    Maybe just take a loan to get out? Not that much though. Enough to put first and last months rent down, turn on electric and water ect. Something more affordable.
  • krunchykorn
    October 4, 2012 at 7:36 AM

    Not in the US, Im Australian

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Where do you live?


  • hddcooper
    October 4, 2012 at 7:37 AM
    None of that is healthy for you and I would get out as soon as I could. Good luck.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    October 4, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    why don't you move out???

  • r_luvli
    by r_luvli
    October 4, 2012 at 7:39 AM
    Do whatever you can to move out of such an unhealthy environment.
  • krunchykorn
    October 4, 2012 at 7:41 AM

    I'm scared my mum wont have the money to survive. I love her and dont want her to go without.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    why don't you move out???


  • PerfectVirgo
    October 4, 2012 at 7:41 AM
    Good luck! My mother was like that with me. I keep her at arms length.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    October 4, 2012 at 7:42 AM

    well at some point you have to start living YOUR life...not live thru your mom....grow up

    Quoting krunchykorn:

    I'm scared my mum wont have the money to survive. I love her and dont want her to go without.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    why don't you move out???



  • krunchykorn
    October 4, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    i know...

    Quoting Anonymous:

    well at some point you have to start living YOUR life...not live thru your mom....grow up

    Quoting krunchykorn:

    I'm scared my mum wont have the money to survive. I love her and dont want her to go without.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    why don't you move out???

     

     


  • Aamy
    by Aamy
    October 4, 2012 at 7:45 AM
    Go put and get a job and rent an apt.

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