Mom Confessions

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Anonymous
new father....
by Anonymous
July 15, 2012 at 8:41 AM
How was your SO when you had your first child together?

I was a single mother to my first child. Her father died while I was pregnant so a father was never present during that time. And 4 years later here I am with a newborn baby boy and dad has been around. Our son is now 3 weeks old, hasn't really caught on yet. He works at home, and has witness the routine I have going on. Im breastfeeding and have pumped to allow him to feed. I don't want him feeling left out, but last night, I would have figured "father instincts" would kick in but they haven't. Our son is in our room in a bassinet and he never heard him cry. I was so exhausted and didn't want to get up and I had already pumped a bottle before bed so he could get up and feed him and I was like can you get him, he said yep sure, rolled over and went back to sleep. :( I'm like really? I nudge him and he was like yeah I will in a second.

A few days ago, he got pissed off because he fell asleep with the baby in his arms and I took him and put him in his crib. I'm like dude you roll in your sleep and if you rolled on him you would never know. He was like well you do it. I'm like well no shit, but I don't roll either and this definitely isn't my first rodeo with a baby.

I've watched my siblings as new parents and they have caught on so quickly, what's up with my SO? should I take him to the library and get him some books. I tried telling him I can't really teach him things, only things like how to feed from a bottle, burp, change a diaper. (For a newborn) I'm like the older he gets you will get the hand of it

Replies

  • Amanda52007
    July 15, 2012 at 8:43 AM
    He needs to be more hands on with the simple things.

    And you can NOT treat him like a child if you correct his behavior. That just causes him to not want to do shit bc it would be pointless.
  • mysticalmalissa
    July 15, 2012 at 8:45 AM

    Poor guy....

  • AutymsMommy
    July 15, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    Why do you assume he "hasn't caught on"?

    My husband is a wonderful father to our three children, but he DOES NOT WAKE UP. Period. For anything. Our house could be burning down or the zombie apocalypse happening outside the front door, and he would snore right through it. Love him anyway :)

  • my2boysandgirl
    July 15, 2012 at 8:49 AM

    Have you asked him to help during the day? Some people have a hard time waking up. DH doesn't wake up easily or go back to sleep so he never got up with the kids at night. Make sure that you aren't tellinghim that you know more than he does because you are a woman or have another child. Guiding him is more kind and allowing him to do somethings his way gives him some freedom to be a parent. Basically you need to make sure you aren't treating him like a child when it comes to taking care of the baby.

  • MyLittlePwny
    July 15, 2012 at 8:49 AM
    It took a minute for it to sink in but that's totally normal. A mothers instincts start during pregnancy while it's much later for men. I had to teach my husband some things but never did I treat him like a child. It's new for him so be patient.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 15, 2012 at 8:50 AM
    Because he hasn't even did a diaper change after feeding him a bottle. There have been numerous times where I have said if he is crying either 1) he is hungry, 2) needs to burp (feel his stomach if it's hard he has a pain) 3) he needs a new diaper 4) just cuddle him up and rock him

    And it hasnt sunk in. Last time I walked out after a shower, my daughter was the one grabbing the pacifier because her brother was crying and he was on the ps3.


    Quoting AutymsMommy:

    Why do you assume he "hasn't caught on"?

    My husband is a wonderful father to our three children, but he DOES NOT WAKE UP. Period. For anything. Our house could be burning down or the zombie apocalypse happening outside the front door, and he would snore right through it. Love him anyway :)


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 15, 2012 at 8:52 AM
    I'm not treating him like a child if that were the case, I'd be smacking his hand at the mistakes he makes, I simply correct or tell him. I don't need both kids getting hurt and he is 32 and I'm 24, so while I think (cause of my age) that he should know (he has a God daughter)


    Quoting MyLittlePwny:

    It took a minute for it to sink in but that's totally normal. A mothers instincts start during pregnancy while it's much later for men. I had to teach my husband some things but never did I treat him like a child. It's new for him so be patient.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    July 15, 2012 at 8:56 AM
    Well like I said I pump so he can feed him, he is a newborn so there isn't much help needed except a feeding or a burp or a diaper change if I want to have a break but he hasn't even caught on to that.

    I imagined it be harder for him popping in a relationship with a 4 year old and the newborn would be a breeze but yeah wrong. My daughter has even showed him how to care for the baby. LOL


    Quoting my2boysandgirl:

    Have you asked him to help during the day? Some people have a hard time waking up. DH doesn't wake up easily or go back to sleep so he never got up with the kids at night. Make sure that you aren't tellinghim that you know more than he does because you are a woman or have another child. Guiding him is more kind and allowing him to do somethings his way gives him some freedom to be a parent. Basically you need to make sure you aren't treating him like a child when it comes to taking care of the baby.


  • MyLittlePwny
    July 15, 2012 at 9:04 AM
    Having a god child is completely different than having your own. It does take time for men to catch on so have some patience.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm not treating him like a child if that were the case, I'd be smacking his hand at the mistakes he makes, I simply correct or tell him. I don't need both kids getting hurt and he is 32 and I'm 24, so while I think (cause of my age) that he should know (he has a God daughter)




    Quoting MyLittlePwny:

    It took a minute for it to sink in but that's totally normal. A mothers instincts start during pregnancy while it's much later for men. I had to teach my husband some things but never did I treat him like a child. It's new for him so be patient.

  • MyLittlePwny
    July 15, 2012 at 9:05 AM
    A four year old is more independent than a newborn. Cut your hubby some slack, damn woman.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Well like I said I pump so he can feed him, he is a newborn so there isn't much help needed except a feeding or a burp or a diaper change if I want to have a break but he hasn't even caught on to that.



    I imagined it be harder for him popping in a relationship with a 4 year old and the newborn would be a breeze but yeah wrong. My daughter has even showed him how to care for the baby. LOL




    Quoting my2boysandgirl:

    Have you asked him to help during the day? Some people have a hard time waking up. DH doesn't wake up easily or go back to sleep so he never got up with the kids at night. Make sure that you aren't tellinghim that you know more than he does because you are a woman or have another child. Guiding him is more kind and allowing him to do somethings his way gives him some freedom to be a parent. Basically you need to make sure you aren't treating him like a child when it comes to taking care of the baby.


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