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Anonymous
Torn
by Anonymous
December 5, 2011 at 8:48 PM

My mominlaw seems  to want control of the baby. Anytime she takes my daughter she doesn't want to bring her back. She also won't return any of the clothes she was sent in until my daughter has outgrown them, I am sure its deliberate. My dh feels like he needs to defend his mom, until our daughter came along he was not interested in my hubbys life at all, she seems to be trying to take his happiness away, she doesn't seem to want us to have her. The last straw was the other day when she said she was having withdrawl pains from not having her. If I try and talk to my dh it hurts him, we had a talk the other about this, and we feel that this withdrawl thing is a problem, there are grandmas all over the world who don't see there grandkids once a week, much less once a month. I love my hubby and don't want to put him in a bad spot, as far as his mom is concerned our daughter is the only thing he's done right, it comes off that way. My mom says that once our daughter can talk she will b able to tell us she doesn't want to go to, as my son says, the "dump." I am thinking my daughter knows somethings wrong because when she gets back she looks upset. Sorry to ramble, but when she slapped my daughters hand for touching herself during a diaper change I got really upset grams said "I guess kids do that." Any advice would be helpful.

Replies

  • newfound09
    December 5, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    No more baby for MIL. She needs to learn her place as a grandparent NOT a parent. 

  • IWannaLoveAgain
    December 5, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    you're the parent and you do not have to let your child go there. your husband should sit and listne and be supportive of your views on y'alls children- and not defend his mother. you have an issue, he should hear you out and actually listen to you.

  • msm67
    by msm67
    December 5, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    If you don't take a stand and put a stop to this NOW, you will have problems forever. She is YOUR child. Period. You set the rules and guidelines. No need for hubby to be hurt, your family comes first now.

  • anotherhalf
    December 5, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    I have been there.  MIL came over every single day for a couple months and then after a talk she came over every Saturday, like it was her day.  That was still too much for me.  Tell your dh how much it bothers you, even if it hurts his feelings, and that he can't use his child to get back in his mother's good graces.  MIL needs to learn her boundries now, and if the child looks upset when she gets back, I would rethink letting MIL have her outside my presence at all.

  • Milosmommy11
    December 5, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    First off, your husband should not put you and your daughter's feelings over his mother's. Second, she wouldn't be around anymore if she had slapped my daughter's hand, especially over something like that. I'd only let her see your daughter while supervised. No going off by herself anymore. And what she said:

    Quoting newfound09:

    She needs to learn her place as a grandparent NOT a parent. 


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