Mom Confessions

Anonymous
Rape
by Anonymous
November 27, 2011 at 6:20 AM

Are any people (as in those being raped)  at fault when they are raped in any circumstance?

Replies

  • heartnhidin
    December 2, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    It is call dissociation it means your brain block out all of the trauma to emotionally protect you. My sister and I were both raped by our father for years she could not remember it but would get flashbacks.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He isn't. It took a while for me to realize that though. I think its because I have no memory at all of what happened. I know it did happen, I just don't know how or why.

    Quoting Jess0915:

    Doesn't sound like a very good best friend. IMO, that is rape. Anytime someone has sex with another without their consent, it's rape. You had no choice in the matter and therefore you were violated. That person would no longer be my friend.



    Quoting Anonymous:

    I got blackout drunk at a party, my best friend who was completely sober had sex with me. That happened years ago and I still haven't figured out if it was rape and if I was at fault.


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    December 2, 2011 at 8:52 PM
    Idk,i really do feel like I shouldn't have done it in the first place, so I wouldn't have been put in that position


    Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

    Thats is not your fault at all. No means NO. Whether you've done it once or a thousand times, even if you're in the middle of doing it and you want it to stop, HE should have stoped. Please don't blame yourself for what your POS ex did.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I had sex with an ex of mine recently and it started consensual but then I kept telling him to stop and he didnt.i dont consider it rape, but I know it was my fault.



  • buttersworth
    December 2, 2011 at 8:53 PM

    NO

    Rape means you sexually assaulted against your will and/or consent. (you can consent and it can still be rape if you are coerced to 'consent' ).

    Then the definition of rape would mean you are resisting and therefore cannot be at fault.

    Even if you naiively put yourself in a compromising situation, you still aren't at fault because you didn't ask to be raped (asking would be a form of consent, and therefore, not rape)

  • AnastasiaKorsh
    December 2, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    You stopped putting youself in "that position" when you TOLD him to stop.

    Thats like...
    if you agreed to go to target with your friend, and they we're like "ahh nah, actually we're gonna drive outta state!" You told them "No,"but they just drove you anyways. Now, would that friend be crazy and kidnapping you, you had every reason to trust them..or...is it "ttly urfault k duhz"??
    Basic definition, rape is sex sans consent. And rape can't be your "fault". It's rape. You removed consent...not your fault.

    I sincerely hope that you see someone to work though something like that, or even call a crisis line so that you have a way to reassure yourself.
    Quoting Anonymous:

    Idk,i really do feel like I shouldn't have done it in the first place, so I wouldn't have been put in that position


    Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

    Thats is not your fault at all. No means NO. Whether you've done it once or a thousand times, even if you're in the middle of doing it and you want it to stop, HE should have stoped. Please don't blame yourself for what your POS ex did.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I had sex with an ex of mine recently and it started consensual but then I kept telling him to stop and he didnt.i dont consider it rape, but I know it was my fault.




  • tmmom2
    by tmmom2
    December 3, 2011 at 12:17 AM
    Your husband sounds awesome!


    Quoting NDADanceMom:

    When we go to certain events I know Im going to get drunk.  My sisters wedding last summer was one of them.  We made arrangements to get home, to get the kids home before the drinking got out of hand, etc.  Another thing my husband always asks before we drink too much is if I want to have sex that night.  We have been together over 20 years and have never had sex that wasnt consentual.  It has NEVER been an issue.  He knows I love sex yet he will not have sex with me if im too drunk to consent.  Seriously!


    He also will teach this to our son.  Do not ever touch a girl that is too drunk to consent.  Even if you have had sex with her a thousand times she always has the right to say no.  I have even told him if im to drunk to say no he can do me.  Nope, a woman must say yes each time. 


    Quoting Anonymous:

    He isn't. It took a while for me to realize that though. I think its because I have no memory at all of what happened. I know it did happen, I just don't know how or why.


    Quoting Jess0915:

    Doesn't sound like a very good best friend. IMO, that is rape. Anytime someone has sex with another without their consent, it's rape. You had no choice in the matter and therefore you were violated. That person would no longer be my friend.




    Quoting Anonymous:

    I got blackout drunk at a party, my best friend who was completely sober had sex with me. That happened years ago and I still haven't figured out if it was rape and if I was at fault.



  • ChrissyReznor
    December 3, 2011 at 12:30 AM
    I think sometimes people put themselves in dangerous positions but no its never the victims fault. No one asks to be raped.

Mom Confessions