When I was 20, I was dating this guy who was much older than me. He was 32. I had met him at college. He was legally blind and had to use a cane to help him getting around. He was so handsome. He had this long dark hair. He was the same exact height as me. He also had a kidney and pancrease transplant before I met him due to prolonged diabetes so he was on a ton of meds he had to take to ensure his body didn't go into rejection.
Anyway... Be that as it may. He was wonderful. The first time I went to his home, after we had seen each other at campus a ton of times, he played his guitar for. He had been in a band with his friends Ronnie and oh I can't remember the guys name, but anyway, he played a song, and I got up and hugged him and I felt a fool, he didn't hug back, until I tried to pull away, and suddenly we were kissing and we made love, me for the first time ever, and it was amazing.
He would come over my house and we would hang out, hug, kiss, watch movies, have sex, it was amazing. But he kept saying I was too young, just a kid, and he wouldn't make a commitment. I kept waiting for him to come around. I was IN LOVE 100%, and I wanted him to feel that way too.
We had an abortion together when my birth control failed. I didn't want to, and he didn't want to. But at the time, I was living with strict parents who would have tossed me on the streets, and he was living with his parents, being legally blind and needing pills, etc, he needed the help.
So after about a year of this, I had a good friend over the house. And he called. And said he wanted to be with me forever, and my friend who could hear, is going no, keep your dignity, and say NO. I fell to her peer pressure and told him NO.
Worst mistake ever.
I do love my husband of course, we have been married a long time now and have three kids.
But the bad part is this...
I'm waiting for either my kids to grow up and move out or him to leave me or him to get hit by a truck so I can look up Dave, this wonderful man I will never stop loving. How terrible is that?
by AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 8:03 PM
When I was 27 I fell in love with a man that was 50 years old... yes, it might sound disgusting for a lot of people... but he's good looking, educated and a genious... btw: he had some feelings for me too... we both have a deep love of art... we're not together btw... we're just kindred spirits lol
by tkshoultsNovember 3, 2011 at 9:11 PM
I dont hate him. I am definitly not heartless. A while back my fiancee' (guy who is now my husband) said he would kill himself if I left him. We were on the verge of breaking up. I loved him and I couldn't live with that. Every one of our three children were concieved when I was on birth control. The patch with #1, the pill with #2, the depo shot with #3. So it wasn't like we were trying to. I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world. If we (my husband and I) ever broke up, it would have to be on his terms, not mine, because I would never want him to harm himself. I am seriously terrified of that. Had he not said he would kill himself all of those yrs ago, I would definitly be with Dave and if I had kids they would be HIS. If this makes me a heartless witch, I cant do anything about it, cause I love Dave and I cant stop loving him.
i'm confused why u got married in the first place if u "ache" for this other guy.why did u have THREE kids with you hubby? why did u and this awesome guy break up? if you hate your husband so much then get a divorce? no one wants to be married to someone thats waiting for them to die or leave them.personally i think you're a heartless witch and hope u never find the blind guy.
Woman up! Don't give us the song & dance about your hubby telling you he would kill himself IF you ever left him.. IT'S A LIE! I have dated guys who said the same crap to me & I can assure you, my ex's are still alive!! It's a form of control by playing on YOUR insecurities, you let him keep controlling you by you NOT standing up for your feelings & doing what is right by leaving him alone INSTEAD of stringing your hubby along..
Women & men both use the scare tactic of 'suicide' if the relationship terminates, what needs to be understood is that MAJORITY are BLUFFING! I personally wouldn't kill myself over ANY guy OR girl for that matter.. I wouldn't want anyone to do that because I break up with them & move on with my life, I certainly wouldn't let a threat stop me from leaving the relationship..
If you care so much for 'Dave' after 12 years of life going on without you, then you should seek counseling.. I can assure you, he doesn't feel the same way you 'think' he used to.. You even said he told you that you were too young for him, which means (a.k.a) you were a fling & nothing more (regardless of what you or him used to tell each other)..
Maybe you should let go of the past & try hard to get over yourself.. There is more to life than just living in the past of a relationship.. For all you know, Dave would be a cheater & that will break your heart! You obviously have a good man, why screw it up?? I will have to agree with Dave, you are very immature & a child.. I don't care how old you are now, you never grew up!
I have been in your shoes with the abortion, my mom forced me into one when I was 15 (against my wishes!).. The HUGE exception is, I got over the guy & haven't thought about him over the last 17 years.. The only thing I still think about when it comes to the relationship from 17 years ago is the aborted baby, NOT the sperm donor!!
by AnonymousNovember 6, 2011 at 12:26 AM
Wow i read this and just wow. I know how u feel i been in ur spot but never wished my hubby to be dead. I had dated someone before i met my hubby and thought that i wanted to be with him more than my hubby. This all before we were married. We had broke up for 4 months and I had found this long lost love the person i thought i wanted to be with and to find out in the long wrong after 4 years of not being with that person our lifes changed. We werent the same people when we went back to each other. I spent the evening with him and didnt feel right at all and felt like i was betraying my hubby (even tho we were broken up) he knew that i went to see him. But from that day on I knew that i didnt want to be with anyone else but my hubby and still to this day i dont want to be with anyone but him. So just think about it. I mean its been years since you seen him things change. He may not be married but he could have a partner or children. YOu have changed he has changed. You may think you havent but really you have.....