In the Bedroom

Husband won't make the first move
by Anonymous
October 15, 2017 at 4:06 PM
My husband has never initiated sex. We've been married quite some time now. He doesn't turn down sex but, he has never initiated it.

It is a repeated argument in our marriage. I've tried to communicate that it makes me feel undesired, etc. I've tried to assure him I won't turn him down. These marital discords always end with him swearing to change his game - and it never happens.

He did get tested for and is diagnosed with low T but, still does not initiate sex!

I don't think I've let myself go. I don't feel like I'm unattractive. I'm almost 100 % sure he's not cheating.

Thoughts? Advice? Anyone else have this issue?


  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    October 15, 2017 at 10:47 PM

    All the time.  I have to initiate. 

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    October 16, 2017 at 3:00 PM

    He sucks. I would insist you both figure out what the problem is. Never feeling desired makes a relationship boring and un-fulfilling.

  • sb-2015
    by sb-2015
    October 17, 2017 at 6:51 AM
    Is he addressing the low issue? It can help him out with things. The testosterone gels or creams can be costly but if you have a compounding pharmacy close (one that deals with male and female hormonal issues) he can have it made there for a lot less. Most will know the dose to try starting with. Will need your family dr to prescribe it then. It wont change with all the "seen on tv" stuff.

    Do you ever tease him with lingerie or being naughty somewhat at home or flirt with him when out and about? Call him at work and have a quick short naughty phone call about what you have on or what you want to happen latter that evening? If he is showering try getting in with him for some close to each other times. There are a lot of things you could try (not saying its you that is not doing things, but that you might be able to steer him in the direction you want) but the low t issue should be dealt with. It doesn't just mess up his sex drive. It can cause other things that will play with moods and energy levels. Read up on that (if you haven't because it can be like our hormonal changes.

    Sorry for the long blab but just wanted to offer that and hope for more enjoyable and meaningful times for you and him. Good luck
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    October 17, 2017 at 10:12 AM
    My husband is the same way has low T and never initiated sex. Even with him taking testosterone supplements he still doesn’t initiate.
  • MrsMinx
    by MrsMinx
    October 17, 2017 at 3:24 PM

     I can imagine that you must be wondering what is wrong with you or even your marriage?.  

    Have you and your husband talked about this issue? Although it's a sensitive topic, it's important to address it, but not when you're fighting as often tends to happen. This unfortunately will cause a pattern which leads to rejection and frustration.

    Although sex is an important part in marriage, it is not the most important part.  God Bless

  • cafemommb4
    October 18, 2017 at 10:52 AM
    Is he on medication for low T? (Is there even such a thing?) If so, how long? Or if he’s not, should he be? Hope you find answers!

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