In the Bedroom
Replies
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Awe wow that's awesome. 21 years is great! You don't see that too much anymore. My husband and I have been together for 13 years ( since I was 14) and married for almost 7 years. We decided to wait until our wedding night to be intamite so talk about disappointment! But we are definitely not going to give up on this and I hope I can say the same as you that after 21 years the sex is great and getting better every time! Thanks again!
Quoting spicy_n_sweet:
LOL....Nope, just been doing it a really long time. I'm 49 and my SO and I have been together for 21 years and we have an amazing sex life. It gets better and better all the time. I've been sexually active for over 30 years. The old saying about "the more you know the more you grow" is so very true. Even when it comes to sex.. We aren't really taught about sex. I mean we are taught basics of reproduction and that penis penetrates vagina..etc. Basics tab A goes into slot B, repeat. However we really aren't taught a whole lot socially about female sexuality, what a female needs sexually. For some reason our society makes it look like all that needs to happen is penetration and if the woman isn't enjoying it then there's something wrong with her. And that men are just supposed to "know" how to please us. Both are false. Sex is far more intricate than penetrate,pump and enjoy.lol
So, moral of the story.......Learn and grow together. If you guys are willing to do that, willing to always be open and honest with one another. And always make one another feel safe and comfortable you guys can achieve an amazing sex life together.
Quoting Anonymous:
Are you a sex therapist? Lol sounds like you have a good sex life. You got it down girl haha. Thanks for all the good info. Definitely gonna do some research. New Years resolution.. Have an orgasm hehe
Quoting spicy_n_sweet:
Ok. Unless you have a moral/religious stance against masturbation I would urge you to start. That's one way we women learn our bodies, learn what our sexual need are, what types of touches work for us, and the level of stimulus we need. Men and women have very different sexual anatomy, sexual response, and ways of becoming aroused physically. So, it's very important for a woman to know these things about herself so that she can honestly share with her partner. You having a husband that is understand, concerned and wanting to help makes this much easier and better in the long run. It may also be helpful for you guys to pick up some books on female sexuality/sexual stimulation/sexual arousal and learn together more about your body and your needs. Again, men are very different they need to actively learn about women in order to help their partner receive sexual pleasure. Since your husband is concerned and helpful, this could be not only enlightening and helpful but also fun for the two of you.
Sex can be painful for a woman who is narrow. Extra lubrication, and more stimulus can help in that area. If you guys do not use lube, I would say invest in a good lube and start adding that into your sex life. Same with stimulus, oral/manual/toys all help as well. Also remember this: A large part of sexual stimulus for a woman is mental and emotional. You need to be mentally and emotionally stimulated in order to reach physical stimulation and to add to the enjoyment of the physical stimulation. So if you aren't getting enough mental and emotional sexual stimulation, I say start getting what you need it will also help you out.
Quoting Anonymous:
Luckily my husband is understanding and concerned about it because he wants to help me get there. He was my first so I can't compare to anyone else. Now when we first tried having sex we were unsuccessful for some time because it was that painful for me. I eventually mentioned to my obgyn who said I was very narrow. After my son was born it didn't cause pain to have intercoarse but still no sensation. I've wondered in the past if our initial experience for the first 2 year in our marriage caused my brain to block off during intercoarse but I'm so over all that so I couldn't imagine that being the issue not anymore anyway. And I don't masterbate but I've felt around to see if I can get some sensation on my own so I can lead him the right direction but once again no luck.
Quoting spicy_n_sweet:
Quoting Anonymous:
Ugh trust me nothing brings it on I've even tried myself. And when he tries it then just starts to hurt. It's pretty frustrating. Once we try and nothing happens I end up just moving on and letting him just enjoy the rest but for once I'd like to enjoy it too ya know! It was difficult before but after two vaginal births which tore me pretty good in both directions it just now feels downright impossible.
If you are having sex that you aren't truly enjoying that can inhibit orgasm. Trying and giving up on your own pleasure and just letting him do his thing is counter productive. This in the long run will/can cause you to dislike sex all together, and possibly even become resentful (due to him getting his at your expense and you never getting yours). When you guys discuss what you are doing, what's going on, and what you would like to try how does the discussion turn out? Do you guys come up with any ways to work together to improve your sex life?
Have you ever experienced really enjoyable, sexually satisfying orgasmic sex with anyone else? If so, what was different?
Also what type of touch do you enjoy? What type of clit stimulation feels best to you. If what he is doing is hurting, then you guys need to discuss and try different touches and possibly add in some lube usage.
So you do not orgasm when you masturbate? Or it's just difficult to do so?
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www.the-clitoris.com
Learn to pleasure yourself.
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The only man (out of a handful) who has ever been able to bring my to orgasm during intercourse is my husband, and that was only before I had kids. The only way I can orgasm is by stimulating my clit with a 'bullet' vibrator. You might want to explore something like that, with your husband helping you maybe....would you both be into adding a toy? If he sees how frustrated you are?
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I orgasm easily and often but that was not always the case.
The key to an orgasm is to relax and feel comfortable with yourself. Focus on the pleasure and shut off anything else in your mind. Find what works for you. Some woman can only get off with clit stimulation.
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I see this response alot on posts like these and I have to ask. Wouldn't you be getting your orgasm from the vibrator and not your dh? The women who can't orgasm with their spouses are always told to bring a toy to bed. And say they have an orgasm....wouldn't it just be from the toy? I'm not trying to sound rude and I'm sorry if I do. I have the same issue OP has. It sucks. We wanna feel what what so many other people get to feel. I wanna have an orgasm with my hubby, not my vibrator. I dunno. It's so damn frustrating.
Quoting Anonymous:
The only man (out of a handful) who has ever been able to bring my to orgasm during intercourse is my husband, and that was only before I had kids. The only way I can orgasm is by stimulating my clit with a 'bullet' vibrator. You might want to explore something like that, with your husband helping you maybe....would you both be into adding a toy? If he sees how frustrated you are? -
I see what you're saying about wanting to get one from your husband and not a toy. i was raised that religiosly its incorrect but I think I'm at the point where ill try because I'd rather get it that way than not at all. I've never been able to have one at all! And that is most frustrating! I wanna know what woman moan about because I don't have a reason to moan except for wanting it to be over :-/
Quoting Anonymous:
I see this response alot on posts like these and I have to ask. Wouldn't you be getting your orgasm from the vibrator and not your dh? The women who can't orgasm with their spouses are always told to bring a toy to bed. And say they have an orgasm....wouldn't it just be from the toy? I'm not trying to sound rude and I'm sorry if I do. I have the same issue OP has. It sucks. We wanna feel what what so many other people get to feel. I wanna have an orgasm with my hubby, not my vibrator. I dunno. It's so damn frustrating.
Quoting Anonymous:
The only man (out of a handful) who has ever been able to bring my to orgasm during intercourse is my husband, and that was only before I had kids. The only way I can orgasm is by stimulating my clit with a 'bullet' vibrator. You might want to explore something like that, with your husband helping you maybe....would you both be into adding a toy? If he sees how frustrated you are?
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my hubby and i use a toy doing sex because i wasnt haveing an orgasm. i showed him how i liked it to be done and he had a blast making me orgasm. just bc the toy is involved doesnt mean your hubby isnt the one making you have the orgasm. we aslo use it during sex and it makes it way better for both of us
Quoting Anonymous:
I see this response alot on posts like these and I have to ask. Wouldn't you be getting your orgasm from the vibrator and not your dh? The women who can't orgasm with their spouses are always told to bring a toy to bed. And say they have an orgasm....wouldn't it just be from the toy? I'm not trying to sound rude and I'm sorry if I do. I have the same issue OP has. It sucks. We wanna feel what what so many other people get to feel. I wanna have an orgasm with my hubby, not my vibrator. I dunno. It's so damn frustrating.
Quoting Anonymous:
The only man (out of a handful) who has ever been able to bring my to orgasm during intercourse is my husband, and that was only before I had kids. The only way I can orgasm is by stimulating my clit with a 'bullet' vibrator. You might want to explore something like that, with your husband helping you maybe....would you both be into adding a toy? If he sees how frustrated you are?