In the Bedroom
Update~
Ok so we started the new year with a no lies or secrets agreement. I have asked him to not masturbate to porn and that if he really wants to look at it to include me in it.... Before we made this agreement I decided to look at it while he was at work. I looked at the stuff I wanted to try with him, then when he got home I showed him what I wanted to try. I felt like I was cheating on him while I looked at it alone so I didn't look long... Well after watching a few clips of what I wanted to do to him we had pro ably the best, most satisfying sex since we first started dating! Now when he is in the mood to try something a little different he says let me show you what I'd like to try.... We get the kids to bed watch a few clips and try it... I feel much better about the whole situation now that he is no longer hiding it from me. He no longer deletes his history on his phone and we are much happier and sexually satisfied!
Replies
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That's ridiculous. Porn tears apart relationships and teaches men to view women as an object to use for their pleasure. It demeans the woman who has chosen to be their partner and disrespects her 100% It creates no bonds of relationships. How can a man have a bond with a computer screen when he leaves his SO and communication behind? I feel sorry for you and your view.
Quoting Matriarch87:
Meh...obviously I don't believe so.
Shoes are not a necessity but provide many benefits we grow accustomed to. Shoes are something many people have in common and allow many opportunities for humans to bond, a bridge that allows activities such as hiking.
Porn is not a necessity but provides many benefits viewers grow accustomed to. Porn is something many people have in common and allows many opportunities for humans to bond, a bridge that allows broadened sexual opportunities and conversation.
I could compare porn to hundreds of unnecessary tools humans use for a variety of reasons. Shoes just popped into my head first.
Quoting Anonymous:
That's beyond a ridiculous comparison.
Quoting Matriarch87:
I don't like shoes. If I told my husband it bothered me for him to wear them should he obey? -
well said
Quoting Anonymous:
Honestly I feel women who have issues with their dh or bf looking at porn are insecure with themselves. And its because their dh or bf doesnt show or tell them how beautiful and sexy they are. -
how is that well said? How is it insecurity to not be ok with your husband imagining having sex with other women? I'm sorry but thats a breach of the marriage voews we made, that has nothing to do with my insecurity. If my husband will be with me, he will be with ME. Imagining and masturbating is just an expression of WANTING. if you want to have sex with another woman then why are you in the relationship?
Quoting MomRocs1102:
well said
Quoting Anonymous:
Honestly I feel women who have issues with their dh or bf looking at porn are insecure with themselves. And its because their dh or bf doesnt show or tell them how beautiful and sexy they are. -
Would you agree that any single page of the bible can be interpreted several ways depending on who is reading it and their pov? I think you would. Same goes for any written word or scene from any movie.
Therefore you claiming what porn teaches men is what is ridiculous. Every viewer watches and interprets it differently taking different things from it.
Nor can you claim what it does for relationships.
What is ridiculous is close minded people.
I watch porn. Schucks, I watch more porn than my husband! I watch it so I can masturbate better. The visuals allow me to shut off the noise from the day and focus on pleasure...I'm capable of masturbating without it but I enjoy it more with it and I can finish quicker. None of what you claim applies to me or my relationship.
Quoting lifeforchrist:
That's ridiculous. Porn tears apart relationships and teaches men to view women as an object to use for their pleasure. It demeans the woman who has chosen to be their partner and disrespects her 100% It creates no bonds of relationships. How can a man have a bond with a computer screen when he leaves his SO and communication behind? I feel sorry for you and your view.
Quoting Matriarch87:
Meh...obviously I don't believe so.
Shoes are not a necessity but provide many benefits we grow accustomed to. Shoes are something many people have in common and allow many opportunities for humans to bond, a bridge that allows activities such as hiking.
Porn is not a necessity but provides many benefits viewers grow accustomed to. Porn is something many people have in common and allows many opportunities for humans to bond, a bridge that allows broadened sexual opportunities and conversation.
I could compare porn to hundreds of unnecessary tools humans use for a variety of reasons. Shoes just popped into my head first.
Quoting Anonymous:
That's beyond a ridiculous comparison.
Quoting Matriarch87:
I don't like shoes. If I told my husband it bothered me for him to wear them should he obey? -
Whoa big error there! People do not imagine fucking the people in the movie. Least I don't. When you watch a sad movie and begin bawling when the hero dies do you cry because you are attached to that person or do you cry because you can relate and those emotions bubble up because of your ability to imagine if it were you? Right. People don't imagine fucking the person in the porn, they just imagine fucking period. When I'm not using porn I don't even imagine faces just body parts. I see no difference between porn and our own imaginations, the only difference is one is tangible.
Quoting lifeforchrist:
how is that well said? How is it insecurity to not be ok with your husband imagining having sex with other women? I'm sorry but thats a breach of the marriage voews we made, that has nothing to do with my insecurity. If my husband will be with me, he will be with ME. Imagining and masturbating is just an expression of WANTING. if you want to have sex with another woman then why are you in the relationship?
Quoting MomRocs1102:
well said
Quoting Anonymous:
Honestly I feel women who have issues with their dh or bf looking at porn are insecure with themselves. And its because their dh or bf doesnt show or tell them how beautiful and sexy they are. -
it is not too much to ask. and imo porn is cheating. if he doesn't respect you enough to stop then you have serious relationship issues.
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Funny your trying to speak for everyone.
My husband ADMITTED that he imagines himself with these women.
Most men would never admit that to their wife .
Also, women are wired differently. Do you can't take your use/view of porn and apply it to everyone.
Quoting Matriarch87:
Whoa big error there! People do not imagine fucking the people in the movie. Least I don't. When you watch a sad movie and begin bawling when the hero dies do you cry because you are attached to that person or do you cry because you can relate and those emotions bubble up because of your ability to imagine if it were you? Right. People don't imagine fucking the person in the porn, they just imagine fucking period. When I'm not using porn I don't even imagine faces just body parts. I see no difference between porn and our own imaginations, the only difference is one is tangible.
Quoting lifeforchrist:
how is that well said? How is it insecurity to not be ok with your husband imagining having sex with other women? I'm sorry but thats a breach of the marriage voews we made, that has nothing to do with my insecurity. If my husband will be with me, he will be with ME. Imagining and masturbating is just an expression of WANTING. if you want to have sex with another woman then why are you in the relationship?
Quoting MomRocs1102:
well said
Quoting Anonymous:
Honestly I feel women who have issues with their dh or bf looking at porn are insecure with themselves. And its because their dh or bf doesnt show or tell them how beautiful and sexy they are. -
Do you think he would like it if you looked at porn of other men?? Might want to try it just to get your point across...
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Sucks he obviously has NO respect for you.
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You should start looking at porn in front of him see what he thinks...give him a taste of
his own mmedicine.