In the Bedroom
I was driving to work today ( it's a 2 hour drive so I have time) and I realize that my marriage ( we've been married 3 years) has no passion. We hardly ever have sex ( I've posted before how he would always reject me, well now I have no sex drive) and when we do I can't wait for it to be over. It's also the little things like we never touch, no hugging, we hardly kiss, and in bed we sleep with our backs to each other. Here is the bigger problem, I'm not sure I want to fix this. Our marriage has been a hard one, he's cheated and I've shut him out of my life. I never share anything with him because he always tells me he doesn't care or I'm wasting his time. I haven't giving up since we have a son ( he's 2) and I take my marriage vows seriously. We've done counseling and I've been doing personal counseling. I don't know what to do, I feel like I should talk to him but like all the times before I don't think he will care. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just venting but I needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Replies
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I think I would talk to him. It's never going to get better if you don't talk about it. Try not to point fingers. Tell him you want to listen and see where you guys go from here. See if you guys can go out to a coffee shop or just plan some time to spend alone together. Your marriage could improve if he was willing to put in effort too. -
Well might aswell divorce if things aren't gonna change -
You need to talk to him. If you arent willing to try to fix things then you might as well get a divorce. -
I agree with this, we never go dates anymore. We stop going on them about a year ago because money was tight, money isn't tight anymore but we never seem to make the time for each other. I feel like we are both at fault ( that's why I'm not talking divorce). I just don't know how to fix it and your right he has to be willing to try. I'll talk to him tomorrow after I get off of work( I work a 24 hr shift as a nurse). Thanks for the advice.
Quoting ria7:
I think I would talk to him. It's never going to get better if you don't talk about it. Try not to point fingers. Tell him you want to listen and see where you guys go from here. See if you guys can go out to a coffee shop or just plan some time to spend alone together. Your marriage could improve if he was willing to put in effort too. -
You're right, I guess I've been trying for so long and doing so many different things I don't know what to do to fix it. Any advice?
Quoting Nicki1995:
You need to talk to him. If you arent willing to try to fix things then you might as well get a divorce. -
Maybe you both should talk about everything bothering each other and make sure you tell him that you want to fix things because you love him and want to stay together. Then have a date night and wear something sexy under your dress for later! I know that sex doesnt fix problems, but thats why you talk about them before the date so you can have a nice night and relieve a lot of stress!
Quoting Evansmommy1130:
You're right, I guess I've been trying for so long and doing so many different things I don't know what to do to fix it. Any advice?
Quoting Nicki1995:
You need to talk to him. If you arent willing to try to fix things then you might as well get a divorce.
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I would like to have a date night twice a month, even if it's just putting ds to bed a little earlier so we can have one on one time. I think with my next paycheck I'll make a trip to VS.
Quoting Nicki1995:
Maybe you both should talk about everything bothering each other and make sure you tell him that you want to fix things because you love him and want to stay together. Then have a date night and wear something sexy under your dress for later! I know that sex doesnt fix problems, but thats why you talk about them before the date so you can have a nice night and relieve a lot of stress!
Quoting Evansmommy1130:
You're right, I guess I've been trying for so long and doing so many different things I don't know what to do to fix it. Any advice?
Quoting Nicki1995:
You need to talk to him. If you arent willing to try to fix things then you might as well get a divorce.
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You don't have to have money for date night. See if a family member can watch the children and have a nice date night at home. We do this. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to sit down without kids so we can talk. John and I have made it a point that we sit down and talk and if we don't agree on something - we agree to not agree. It is something that you gonna have to both want in the long run.
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Well good luck! I hope everything works out
Quoting Evansmommy1130:
I would like to have a date night twice a month, even if it's just putting ds to bed a little earlier so we can have one on one time. I think with my next paycheck I'll make a trip to VS.
Quoting Nicki1995:
Maybe you both should talk about everything bothering each other and make sure you tell him that you want to fix things because you love him and want to stay together. Then have a date night and wear something sexy under your dress for later! I know that sex doesnt fix problems, but thats why you talk about them before the date so you can have a nice night and relieve a lot of stress!
Quoting Evansmommy1130:
You're right, I guess I've been trying for so long and doing so many different things I don't know what to do to fix it. Any advice?
Quoting Nicki1995:
You need to talk to him. If you arent willing to try to fix things then you might as well get a divorce.
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Boy things need to change at your house! I wouldm nthink physical touch should be a priority - hugs, a hand on the shoulder etc, Any connection to keep the elec flowing.