Yes...what you said was true, however, your delivery was iffy. I don't know how those children were adopted: internationally, domestically, foster care...so there could be underlying reasons for him to say that.
Here's the thing about adoption...many adoptees don't care about their genealogy. They are happy to be loved and adopted. Therefore, they take on the roots of the adoptive family. For you to pretty much dismiss that bond is cruel IMO. There are some kids that *do* want to know their roots/bio history. They should be encouraged to research it with help from their parents. It doesn't change who they are or their place in their family, but it eases a hurt/ hole that they feel they have.
It should be up to the children if they want to actually research. It is not your call. Period. To say things like that is asking for resentment by the child towards you since you don't know their history before being adopted especially if they were adopted from foster care and were older. This is a "tread carefully" situation on your part. I would suggest that you do a lot more research on adoption and adoptees so you can fully understand what they go through as adoptees.
March 17, 2017 at 8:26 AMThe child wasn't there for our conversation so he didn't hear it but he's the one that told DH that DH's geneology line was different from his and dh argued with him, telling him that the blood line is too diluted and his name is the only thing that matters. Pretty much telling SS not to search for his own bloodline.
March 17, 2017 at 9:49 AMThanks for the responses. I had already decided to not give my opinion on the situation again but just wanted some insight from other adoptive parents. BTW, the SS that I've been referring to is Hispanic and DH is Caucasian.
March 18, 2017 at 2:01 AM
I agree with this. There are really two different ways to look at this - both the biological line and the adoptive line.
I tell my adopted kids they have their bio family and adoptive family. Their genealogy should consist of both. I see where your dh is coming from but obviously that would not be the case with a transracial adoptive family.