Raising Special Needs Kids

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HayleeandLilli
Children after special needs child?
October 15 at 5:23 PM
My daughter is going through testing for: Autism, selective mutism, anxiety, PTSD, SPD or an eating disorder. She defiantly has at least one of these. But my boyfriend and I think I am pregnant. Any tips for having a baby after a special needs child? With the second child have special needa too? Thanks.

Replies

  • MichelleLZ
    October 15 at 5:54 PM
    My son has ADHD, dyslexia, and SPD. He’s the oldest of five. So far 3 of the other’s have had speech delays, three have had dyslexia, and two have SPD and one with mild gross motor delays. I’m expecting to find out one or two of the girls have ADHD but we’ll cross that when we get there. Honestly it’s just my life at this point. I don’t know if there’s something special you do. But I guess try to get the other kids involved in activities too so that they don’t spend all their time waiting with you for their siblings OT, you’ll probably notice a lot sooner that something is off track with the second one if there is and you should trust that (saved me big time with dyslexia and the SPD).
  • HayleeandLilli
    October 15 at 6:06 PM

    Is he the only boy? My friend has 1 son and 4 girls. Thanks!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: My son has ADHD, dyslexia, and SPD. He’s the oldest of five. So far 3 of the other’s have had speech delays, three have had dyslexia, and two have SPD and one with mild gross motor delays. I’m expecting to find out one or two of the girls have ADHD but we’ll cross that when we get there. Honestly it’s just my life at this point. I don’t know if there’s something special you do. But I guess try to get the other kids involved in activities too so that they don’t spend all their time waiting with you for their siblings OT, you’ll probably notice a lot sooner that something is off track with the second one if there is and you should trust that (saved me big time with dyslexia and the SPD).


  • MichelleLZ
    October 15 at 6:50 PM
    He is the only living boy. I had a sixth baby in February and he died. But yes one boy and four girls living.

    Quoting HayleeandLilli:

    Is he the only boy? My friend has 1 son and 4 girls. Thanks!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: My son has ADHD, dyslexia, and SPD. He’s the oldest of five. So far 3 of the other’s have had speech delays, three have had dyslexia, and two have SPD and one with mild gross motor delays. I’m expecting to find out one or two of the girls have ADHD but we’ll cross that when we get there. Honestly it’s just my life at this point. I don’t know if there’s something special you do. But I guess try to get the other kids involved in activities too so that they don’t spend all their time waiting with you for their siblings OT, you’ll probably notice a lot sooner that something is off track with the second one if there is and you should trust that (saved me big time with dyslexia and the SPD).

  • HayleeandLilli
    October 15 at 6:52 PM
    Oh! If I knew I would not have asked! Sorry!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: He is the only living boy. I had a sixth baby in February and he died. But yes one boy and four girls living.

    Quoting HayleeandLilli:

    Is he the only boy? My friend has 1 son and 4 girls. Thanks!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: My son has ADHD, dyslexia, and SPD. He’s the oldest of five. So far 3 of the other’s have had speech delays, three have had dyslexia, and two have SPD and one with mild gross motor delays. I’m expecting to find out one or two of the girls have ADHD but we’ll cross that when we get there. Honestly it’s just my life at this point. I don’t know if there’s something special you do. But I guess try to get the other kids involved in activities too so that they don’t spend all their time waiting with you for their siblings OT, you’ll probably notice a lot sooner that something is off track with the second one if there is and you should trust that (saved me big time with dyslexia and the SPD).

  • MichelleLZ
    October 15 at 7:29 PM
    No need to be sorry. There was no way you would have known. It’s a very common question because he is significantly outnumbered by girls. It just happens to be a hard question to answer right now for me.

    Quoting HayleeandLilli: Oh! If I knew I would not have asked! Sorry!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: He is the only living boy. I had a sixth baby in February and he died. But yes one boy and four girls living.

    Quoting HayleeandLilli:

    Is he the only boy? My friend has 1 son and 4 girls. Thanks!

    Quoting MichelleLZ: My son has ADHD, dyslexia, and SPD. He’s the oldest of five. So far 3 of the other’s have had speech delays, three have had dyslexia, and two have SPD and one with mild gross motor delays. I’m expecting to find out one or two of the girls have ADHD but we’ll cross that when we get there. Honestly it’s just my life at this point. I don’t know if there’s something special you do. But I guess try to get the other kids involved in activities too so that they don’t spend all their time waiting with you for their siblings OT, you’ll probably notice a lot sooner that something is off track with the second one if there is and you should trust that (saved me big time with dyslexia and the SPD).

  • jjsong
    by jjsong
    October 16 at 6:34 PM

    You don't state how old your daughter is and whether your boyfriend who you may be pregnant with is her father as well.  Some of the diagnoses you speak of  such as PTSD, eating disorder would suggest she is an older child.  Also some of these diagnoses are developmental such as autism and others such as PTSD would be from trauma. If her father is not your current boyfriend than it would be hard to predict with any accuracy that your baby would be a born with developmental disabilities such as autism.  When your daughter has been thoroughly evaluated and diagnosed you will have a better idea if any of her problems have a genetic component.  After that it will be a wait and see situation.  My best to you.

  • thenamesmama
    October 16 at 10:38 PM

    I have 4 children who are all special needs. My oldest and only daughter is a week shy of turning 9 and has a speech disorder, epilepsy, migraines, anxiety, and asthma. My 3 year old son has epilepsy and what we suspect to be ADHD. My 7 and 5 year old sons have much more severe disabilities than the other two. My 5 year old has was recently diagnosed with Noonan syndrome, which causes him to have issues with his heart and eyes. He also has learning disabilities, ADHD, asthma, epilepsy, anxiety, and an emotional disturbance. My 7 year old is autistic with SPD and anxiety, cystic fibrosis, adrenocortical insufficiency, ADHD, severe epilepsy, asthma, and an emotional disturbance.

    In our house, we really get the kids involved in everyone's treatment. In a way, they all understand each other and are each other's support system. We also learned that what might work for one child, might not work for the other. Organization is also key. My kids are on many meds and I color code all the medicine bottles according to child and make schedules of which child has to take which med when. Some children also need structure (we found that this works best for my boys) and we tape a schedule of the daily activities in the kitchen.

    It will be rough getting adjusted, but I promise you, you will be able to do. I wouldn't trade my kids for the world. They have their good days and their bad days, just like us. 

  • Sassym0m24
    October 18 at 7:41 PM
    I feel like this question is highly dependent on things that you may not even know until some time has passed with baby already there, to gauge how it goes.

    It's also highly dependent on things you may not know til baby is here like if your child responds better to certain genders/age gaps/ personality(later down the line) and how your child that has more needs is personally throughout because that will effect everyone else and of course if you have all resources lined up for the child's diagnosis.

    I personally know that can take years, case workers, specialized psychiatrists, outpatient care, etc, for said child, targeted case workers meds.

    I don't mean it has to be perfectly figured out, but the closer you are to a place that feels ok, liveable, or you're personally someone who can handle a heck of a lot...

    Then I'd say it can be done.
    Sometimes those who have and do everything can't have things as they'd like due to who their child is in this, then they have to take comfort in doing all that can be done.

    I have a child who became special needs in her own way, due to my oldest son's various issues, not because it's inherent that genetics make it so every time.

    So, don't assume it's genetics(So don't blame yourself it can go the positive way too), don't assume it's if you do enough(So you dont feel you didn't do enough), but do all you can to be ok with yourself in this, whatever this path holds.
  • HayleeandLilli
    October 18 at 7:54 PM
    My boyfriend is not her father. She turns 3 very soon. My friend is a pediatrican so these are all things she believes are worth getting her diagnosed with.

    Quoting jjsong:

    You don't state how old your daughter is and whether your boyfriend who you may be pregnant with is her father as well.  Some of the diagnoses you speak of  such as PTSD, eating disorder would suggest she is an older child.  Also some of these diagnoses are developmental such as autism and others such as PTSD would be from trauma. If her father is not your current boyfriend than it would be hard to predict with any accuracy that your baby would be a born with developmental disabilities such as autism.  When your daughter has been thoroughly evaluated and diagnosed you will have a better idea if any of her problems have a genetic component.  After that it will be a wait and see situation.  My best to you.

  • mandee1503
    October 18 at 10:04 PM
    If your child is diagnosed with something that is considered genetic then any other child might be diagnosed as well. I have 4 children. My oldest is neurotypical, my second child my only son is disabled and then my next two are neurotypical. At least as far as I know for my youngest. She's only 2 weeks old.

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