Raising Special Needs Kids

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What do you wish parents of "typical" kids could understand about parenting a child with special needs?
June 27, 2013 at 11:28 AM

What do you wish parents of "typical" kids could understand about parenting a child with special needs?

Replies

  • Momof4AEMW
    June 27, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Kind of similar to what i answered in the last post, that society and doctors have taught us stereotypes of disabilities and to fear imperfections in children.  Theyencourage us to eliminate pregnancies that may not be chromosomally perfect.  What I would have missed out on had we listened and made a different choice. 

    I don't care if a typical parent ever understands the stress and business of my day, the medical complications, and long term responsibilities that come with it.  What i think they should understand is my kids are more like theirs than they are different.  And even if mine do things differently or on their own time line developmentally, they are not an inadequate person because of it.  SN kids want love, fun, support, safely, friends, etc just like any other child.  And they want to be treated with the same fairness and equality that they would want for their child.  They would not appreciate if I made fun of their child, why make fun of mine?

  • jjamom
    by jjamom
    June 27, 2013 at 3:17 PM
    A few things:

    1. Our family is not so different than yours. Don't pity us or avoid us. That we are not miserable.

    2. That our child is wanted, loved and deserves the same level of respect, understanding, friendship and inclusion that any other child deserves.

    3. That our child might struggle in situations that typical children may not and that doesn't mean we are lacking in parenting skills or control of our child. All kids have issues with certain situations sometimes, but TD kids might have more control over their emotions or discomfort. And if my child does have difficulty in a certain situation, it doesn't mean that is what he is like 24/7 (or even most of the time).
  • Elyssa414
    June 27, 2013 at 3:37 PM
    That their two year old's tantrum is not the same as my 11 year old's meltdown.

    That a tonsillectomy is NOT "major" surgery

    That I feel just as awkward around them as they do around me

    That I'm not a saint
  • Trabrooke
    June 27, 2013 at 3:48 PM

    That I am a mum just like them and don't need there pity I need their friendship  and that my child will not give their child anything  also just because we have a few problems  does not mean that you need to feel sorry for me 

  • trio8707
    June 27, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    I can't just put my kids in the car and go somewhere or do something... everything has to be planned.  I'm fine with not being able to go somewhere, so don't give me grief about it.  The world will go on

  • Momof4AEMW
    June 27, 2013 at 4:44 PM

    Ok. love the tantrum part.  And you are so right on the rest.

    So I hope you can feel the sarcasm in my post and smile on my face as we too come from the 'real surgeries' category (2 heart surgeries on 2-3 week old babies, bladdar surgery, etc).  But when a tonsillectomy turns into a 9 night stay in the hospital beating the all time hospital record of overnight stay for tonsillectomy ever, then does it count at "major" surgery? 

    I say with a smile...if I can't see whimsy in my own life, how will anyone else.  :)


    Quoting Elyssa414:

    That their two year old's tantrum is not the same as my 11 year old's meltdown.

    That a tonsillectomy is NOT "major" surgery

    That I feel just as awkward around them as they do around me

    That I'm not a saint


     

  • Elyssa414
    June 27, 2013 at 7:07 PM
    Lol! That totally counts as a major ordeal, if not a major surgery! Dang- that's as long as we stayed for one of Lij's brain surgeries!!!

    Quoting Momof4AEMW:

    Ok. love the tantrum part.  And you are so right on the rest.


    So I hope you can feel the sarcasm in my post and smile on my face as we too come from the 'real surgeries' category (2 heart surgeries on 2-3 week old babies, bladdar surgery, etc).  But when a tonsillectomy turns into a 9 night stay in the hospital beating the all time hospital record of overnight stay for tonsillectomy ever, then does it count at "major" surgery? 


    I say with a smile...if I can't see whimsy in my own life, how will anyone else.  :)




    Quoting Elyssa414:

    That their two year old's tantrum is not the same as my 11 year old's meltdown.

    That a tonsillectomy is NOT "major" surgery

    That I feel just as awkward around them as they do around me

    That I'm not a saint



     

  • Bluecalm
    June 27, 2013 at 7:29 PM
    If I tell you a particular term for my son's condition is offensive, please do not tell me I'm too sensitive.
  • Linagma03
    June 28, 2013 at 12:08 AM

    Don't speak in stage whispers about her & her behavior. Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answers to. Don't tell me that all she needs is discipline then she will act like a child her age is supposed to act. Should I use the discipline that you so obviously use? the discipline that calls for me to tell her no then just because she yells for a couple of minutes I let her have the toy? That discipline? 

  • mlogsdon
    June 28, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    That there is nothing "wrong" with him, hes perfect. That i am just a mom, im not doing anything special or praise-worthy, that i do not need your pity, that POSSIBLE jaundice is not the same as a NICU or PICU stay, or surgery, or any other thing on our list of stuff going on. That i don't want to hear "he'll get better".... Again, hes perfect as he is. 

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