Raising Special Needs Kids

Don't know what to feel
by aponder
January 31, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I'm new here and posted the following in another group and didn't get much feed back.  If some of you had a child that seemed normal till they got in school, how did you feel, was you numb, or in denial, like me?


My 5 year old DD is passing up my almost 7 year old DS in school. She is in K he is in 1st grade, they are evaluating him for a learning disability, tomorrow . She can read out of his book and he gets sad and says "I don't want her to be smarter than me" I'm proud of her and proud of him too, because he has made progress this year, but he is not where he should be, but It's like I can't be happy for one without hurting the other. He looks normal and acts normal except for some sensory issues with food  and very poor fine motor skills,  he just isn't getting it at school.


  • aponder
    by aponder
    January 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM


  • gma12.1
    by gma12.1
    February 1, 2013 at 12:50 AM


    After the testing gets done and you know what is going on better you will be able to find a way to talk to him where it will make him feel good and not angry at himself or his sister. This may sound really stupid but once you have all the information and get on the road to figuring out how to help him, being different can actually make them feel more important. Instead of him getting upset, if there is another thing that you can find that he does better than his sister you can use that as the example of how each of them is good at things that the other isn't that they learn how to do things differently. I just had this discussion with my 14 yr old grandson in regards to his Twin sister. She is way a head of him in ability and he is upset about that and calls himself names and didn't understand. He said this to me "why am I so stupid & she is so smart we're twins we should be the same". At 14 he didn't know exactly what twins were and what kind there were. He and I talked long about what he can do that she can't also me explaining about Twins.   

    Good Luck with everything!

  • aponder
    by aponder
    February 1, 2013 at 1:12 AM

    Well, it's snowing now, so I guess the testing might wait till Monday. From looking some of his symptoms up on the internet.  The sensory issues with food, the poor fine motor skills.  It seems to be pointing to a sensory development issue, but  I won't know for sure until testing is over.  Part of me wants the test to show nothing, but another part of me is hoping it does, because if it doesn't then we are back to square one.  He had some birth trauma, and his oxygen got cut off for a little while.  Also are all children who test positive for a Learning disability able to get SSI? 

  • jjamom
    by jjamom
    February 1, 2013 at 7:14 AM
    I hope you get some answers and some help for your son. The earlier the better for intervention, so he doesn't get further and further behind. I can only imagine how he must feel. It can be really hard on the kid when their peers and younger siblings surpass them, it's such a blow to their self esteem. Good luck!
  • darbyakeep45
    February 1, 2013 at 7:25 AM

    Hugs mama!  These ladies have some good thoughts...good luck!

  • mrsgardner07
    February 1, 2013 at 10:57 AM
    I have a similar situation w/ my 5 yr old & 2 yr old. My oldest has autism & struggles whereas my 2 yr old is very advanced. I expect to have problems like this as they get older. Hang in there & try to point out those things that make them individually smart & special! ((HUGS))
  • natesmom1228
    February 1, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    Welcome to the group! I only have one child so he is the only one I have had to deal with.

  • dawncs
    by dawncs
    February 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    Welcome to the group! I know it is a scary time for you considering what is happening with your son and school, but it is great that he is being evaluated for Special Education services (http://www.wrightslaw.com/). It is not your fault that he has a learning disability at all because there are kids out there who learn differently than others. He will receive help from a teacher trained to work with him once the IEP is in place for the subjects that he has the most trouble in. He can also receive occupational therapy which would help him a lot with his fine motor skills. You can read more about learning disabilities at http://www.ldonline.org/.

  • Elyssa414
    February 1, 2013 at 12:03 PM
    I'm sorry, Mama. It was hard for me when my younger son passed my older one. *HUGS*

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