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SweetAngelkin44
odd question..
April 26 at 8:55 AM
My daughter and son are less then a year apart 9 yrs and 8 yrs both kids have been very clingy, I had spoken to their doctor and had them speak to their doctor alone. My son and daughter want me to sleep in their room or my bed. I don't remember being clingy like this at their ages, the doctor says they will grow out of this but I am wondering if anyone else who has had kids 8/9 if this is normal? Or is it because I am pretty affectionate to my kids/husband? My daughter doesn't seem stressed out but both kids seem happiest when I do let them fall asleep next to me, its not like they can't sleep alone last year the kids had bunk beds and they would sleep together but that has stopped since I moved my daughters bed in her own room.they both are snuggly kids who like to cuddle with mom. I just dont know if this is normal or due to multiple hospitalizations last year.. any advice is welcomed I have been looking online and some parents say its normal or for parents who allow their children to sleep with them I am causing a crutch..

Replies

  • orchardmoma
    April 26 at 10:29 AM

    It sounds like you are parenting out of guilt here. Please don't take it wrong :) 

    with the hospitalization's and such, you feel guilty saying no to them. You have to be able to say no, mean it, stick to it, and be consistent with it. If you say no today, then it should be no tomorrow and the next day also. If you do not want to sleep with them or have them clingy to you, have a talk with them and tell them that you love them but it has to stop today. Believe me, I have older kids in their 20's, kids respect a parent that gives them clear and direct and consistent boundaries and rules more so than the parent that they can walk all over. They look toward you for guidance and to teach them how to make their way in this world. They should be able to sleep on their own, comfort themselves to a degree without you.  Good luck

  • SweetAngelkin44
    April 26 at 11:21 AM
    thank you, I don't mind the kids being loving but the sleeping thing needs to be be fixed so of course to keep all of us sane will need to work on this and I have some ideas I used to tell them this morning, it wont be too hard since I am sure my daughter is at the age where she rather be with friends making healthy relationships with her friends.. it was nice for the week or two II first came home because i missed them just had no idea this would of made them want to be with me so often.and I appreciate honesty I have been feeling Guilty since being home that I was away from them but I should have thoughts that Mom needs to be healthy in order to run the household,
  • Momofmenagerie
    April 26 at 12:38 PM
    Would you consider allowing them to sleep in each other 's room? A pallet or something ? Just sleep? I know you may not , as some take issue with siblings of the opposite sex sleeping in the same bed or room after a certain age.

    My son sort of made a substitute person for his bed b/ c he does like to sleep alone. I got him a body pillow and he draped his electric blanket just around it on the next to lowest setting only so it was like body heat. Came up with it on his own. Between that and the white noise from his fan , he's slept just great now since age nine ... He's 14 now.
  • splatz
    by splatz
    April 26 at 10:31 PM

    Hmm.. I am not sure mama. Is it just that they don't like to be in their rooms alone?

  • mamamiajk
    April 27 at 8:06 AM

    To each their own is my motto. All my kids knew if something was bothering them they were always free to come to us...for anything needed. Maybe they're feeling a bit insecure for whatever reason and being near you comforts them. Plain and simple. Sounds like you're doing a great job as a mom.  Peace

  • Janet
    by Janet
    April 27 at 11:41 AM

    I feel the same.

    Quoting mamamiajk:

    To each their own is my motto. All my kids knew if something was bothering them they were always free to come to us...for anything needed. Maybe they're feeling a bit insecure for whatever reason and being near you comforts them. Plain and simple. Sounds like you're doing a great job as a mom.  Peace


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