So here's some background info-- I was given temporary custody of my 2 nieces in June. The father just recently got out of jail and is allowed supervised visitation at any time he wants as long as I consent. The mother had the same visitation but was arrested several times during a 3 week period so her visitation was transferred to DHS. I was told by our case worked that the mother is not allowed to see the kids outside of DHS without permission from the case worker.
My youngest niece is having tubes put in tomorrow. The mother contacted me today saying she was told by our case worker that she could be there for the surgery. My case worker has not called me, has not sent me a letter/email or anything else. I told the mother that until I hear from the case worker, I was not giving her specifics on what hospital/when we will be there due to the fact that I DO NOT KNOW WHETHER OR NOT THE CASE WORKER ACTUALLY AGREED TO IT. The mother informed me that the case worker was out of town. I tried to call the office, left her a message, asked for them to contact her and have her call me, basically everything I could to speak with the case worker today. I have not been able to speak with her. So I told the mother again that I was not going against what I was told on her say so.
Now both of the kids parents, my brother and his girlfriend, are saying I'm being childish, going against the case worker, being selfish, and trying to exclude them from the kids lives. In my opinion, I was not doing any of those things. I'm trying to follow the rules set forth to me by DHS while trying to do what is best for the kids.
So... My question is, could I have handled this differently? Or did I do the right thing?
Good to know, ladies! Granted, no matter what, I feel like I did the right thing and handled it the best way possible. But at least now I know others would have done the same thing in my shoes! I just hate that it's come down to immaturity like this.
Oh gosh... I'm not sure how else you could have handled it if the case worker didn't let you know! I think you did the right thing & I bet the case worker will side with you even if they did ok it. Better to err on the side of caution.
If you go against the court order you will risk losing your nieces. The courts do not like this. If you go against the order you could loose trust of the caseworker and judge and look really bad in court.
They may hate you now but you did the right thing. You're protecting your nieces best interest. It's not about the parents.