Mom to Mom

Would you be upset or offended?
August 26, 2013 at 11:47 PM

My kids are in a local playgroup. It is a pretty decent size and we have all been meeting for about a year. Saturday evening I received a call from one of the moms. She was upset because apparently another mom handed out birthday party invitations for her child to some of the moms. The mom that called me didn't get one and since it was news to me, I obviously didn't get one either.

She was so upset and offended that her daughter didn't get one and expected me to feel the same. While I don't think it was good form to hand out invitations to a select few with uninvited moms/kids there, I don't think she should be obligated to invite everyone if she doesn't want to either.

As an adult, I understand that not everyone is going to be invited to everything all the time. Yes it is disappointing to children but honestly, you cannot shelter children from disappointment their whole lives. That in my opinion leads to entitled children and there are enough entitled children already running around.

Would you be upset or offended if your child was excluded from a party for a child that they had spent every Saturday with for a year? 

Do you think everyone in the playgroup should have been included?


  • Roo1234
    by Roo1234
    August 26, 2013 at 11:49 PM
    I was never offended...a little sad that someone I thought I had built a friendship with didn't see me in the same way, but it was n never worth being upset over it.
  • SlapItHigh
    August 27, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    I would feel the same as you.  That is poor form but I would just let it roll off my back.  There's probably a reason she only invited the people that she did.  It might change the way I viewed this mom a little bit but I wouldn't be upset, really.

  • KW1280
    by KW1280
    August 27, 2013 at 12:20 AM
    I wouldn't be upset or offended.
    She is probably closer to the other moms or have a limited budget.
  • livric
    by livric
    August 27, 2013 at 12:59 AM

    yeah I would be a bit upset.    I have the same problem with DS.   every year he has a big party,  around 20 boys or more come and everyone always has a fantastic time.   However,  DS never hardly gets any invitations.  he got 2 the whole school year :(    it is hard for me to think that DS is not invited.   I dont know if it is the kids who dont want him there or it is the mums who dont think they could cope.   it is sad, but there is nothing you can do about it.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    August 27, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    I agree with you.

  • mommacatof3
    August 27, 2013 at 10:37 AM

    If the children aren't close to one another and the child doing the inviting is closer to others in the group then no I wouldn't be upset. If I knew my child always played with this child and they were really close then sure I would feel for my child.

    Kids have to learn that sometimes things happen for whatever reason.  I hope the mom has the maturity not to make a big stink in front of her kid. That will just make her kid feel bad. Everyone may not have been invited to keep costs down. There may have been relatives or others coming to the party that had nothing to do with the group.

  • DanaG70
    by DanaG70
    August 27, 2013 at 10:40 AM

     I wouldn't be upset or offended, sometimes budgets are tight and only a select few can be invited.

  • Basherte
    August 27, 2013 at 10:48 AM

    I would be a little upset that she did that where and when she did it, but otherwise, no not really.

  • Mommy4000
    August 27, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    I wouldn't consider it any different than a kid handing out invitations to a few kids in school so I certainly wouldn't be offended, and I'm sure my kids wouldn't care either. Sometimes they get invited, sometimes they don't, and it's never hurt their feelings to know other kids are being invited to something they are not. I think as an adult, she took it too personally.

  • othermom
    August 27, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    No I don't think everyone should have to be included. My kids get invited to parties sometimes, sometimes not.

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