Mom to Mom

July 4, 2013 at 3:36 AM

Ok here is the situation. Kind of long. 11 years ago my husband found out through DNA testing thru the courts that a little boy that he loved for 4 years was not his son. The little boy had his last name. I was with my husband at the time and he was very hurt. We thought the mother would change his name to hers or the real father. We did not stay in contact with the boy or his mother. Last year we found out that now the boy is 15 years old and STILL HAS MY HUSBANDS NAME! I was very confused. My husband talked to the boys mother thru Facebook and she said she was working on it!! I mean really 11 years for a name change. We live in Massachusetts is there anything we can do? My husband and I have 2 girls and 2 boys. I don't want this to ever hurt them in anyway shape or form.


  • rdnkwskygrl
    July 4, 2013 at 3:39 AM

    He should be able to petition the court to have it changed. Does the child know that your DH isnt his father? Does the child know your children? i hope all goes well

    by HIJKLM
    July 4, 2013 at 3:41 AM
    I don't see how it hurts anything. My DH has the last name of a man who turned out not to be his BD and DH has not had contact with him in 30 years. It would be weird to have to change your name mid HS in my opinion.
  • goddess99
    July 4, 2013 at 11:52 AM

    To me it's just a name. Doesn't really mean anything. Doesn't hurt anyone.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    July 4, 2013 at 5:21 PM

    I agree!

    Quoting goddess99:

    To me it's just a name. Doesn't really mean anything. Doesn't hurt anyone.

  • CampClan
    July 4, 2013 at 6:36 PM

    I doubt there is anything you guys can do. I do know from experience that there is alot of steps to take to get a name changed. My DS was 7 when I had his changed from my maiden name to my married name. My now exH is not his father. I had to petition the courts for the name change, they gave me a hearing date & instructions on how to contact the father for his permission. I had to send a certified notice of the petition to the father, as well as a copy via regular mail, & I had to put a notice in a local paper (incase he knew anyone here in my state that would see it & give him the info). I was told that if the father did not reply to the petition or come to the hearing then that was his way of saying he didn't care if I changed DS's name. When he didn't reply the hearing officer asked me why I wanted the last name changed & I said because he has my maiden name now. Also his bio-father has never been in the picture & my H has since before he was born. The hearing officer also asked DS if he wanted his last name changed to match Mommy's last name & he said yes. 

    I think at the age of 15 this young man can speak up for himself & tell the hearing officer whether or not he wants his name changed. And seriously... what is it hurting this kid having your DH's last name? No one. 

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