Mom to Mom

should I tell her?
by mkaj
June 10, 2013 at 1:44 AM
I have a little problem so my daughter is almost 9 and when she was a year old her bio dad and I split up for abusive reasons, well he is a dead beat and has never been in her life or paid a dime for her. Well When she was a little over a year i started dating this guy and now we have been together for 8 and a half years but my daughter thinks he is her real dad and doesn't know a thing and I feel bad and think she has the right to know but my hubby thinks we should keep it a secret. He is scared that she is not going to love him as much etc. I think everything will be fine but I'm so tore. She is a huge daddy's girl and I don't want anything to change that


  • musicNcaffeine
    June 10, 2013 at 2:04 AM

    I am doing the same thing. My son is figuring it out, but we are not going to say anything until he asks. When he asks, he'll be ready. That's just us.

  • villagemamma
    June 10, 2013 at 2:10 AM

    This is such a tough one honestly....

    I think it is always good to be honest with children because they are more accepting to information then teenagers or young adults are and i think eventually it will come out. I know for me personally i would tell my daughter to avoid future drama. The questions that she would have now are going to be way easier to handle at this age...

    Honestly though do what is right for your family just always be prepared for it to come up. Good luck. i am sure you will do whatever is best for your daughter and situation

  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    June 10, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    If you are not ready to tell don't but she needs to know eventually!

  • Janet
    by Janet
    June 10, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    The younger you tell her the better. When they get older they can get bitter when things are kept from them. That's my opinion.

  • goddess99
    June 10, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    Personally I would tell her. As she gets older this secret could blow up in your face. She may not take it well, the longer you wait.

  • SlapItHigh
    June 11, 2013 at 1:10 AM

    I think you should tell her and possibly get her counseling b/c that's going to be hard to take.  But she will find out sooner or later, that's for sure!  Better to find out sooner and from you than later and from someone else.

  • angelmom224
    June 11, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    I think she deserves to know the truth. She is old enough now to understand. I am sure nothing will change she will see that her bio dad has never been around and this is the only dad she has known. Personally I would have been explaining things to her as she was growing up. Not let her grow up so many yrs and not knowing. 

  • splatz
    by splatz
    June 11, 2013 at 9:32 AM
    I agree on telling her sooner than later.
  • Des10ed2b
    June 11, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    my best friend did this with her daughter and my sister did it with her first born. just explain that her DAD is the same person. a DAD is a person who loves, raises, and commites their life to caring for a child. the other guy who is just who helped make her. You just wanted to let her know since sex ed and everything is coming up. it doesnt change anything, it just shows that there are all different kinds of families, but a family means love, regardless of who it is. 

  • 20112012
    June 11, 2013 at 9:42 AM

    better that yoy tell her so she will not find out on her own or by someone else.....  

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