Still suffering after 3 years?
March 16, 2013 at 12:29 AM
Maybe I'm not doing it right or trying hard enough or could I STILL be in denial to get the real help I need? Having PPD is like nothing I've ever experienced. I was diagnosed a year after having my first and 1 month after having my second child. I was immediately put on anti depressants because I was borderline not able to care for myself or my children. Even though I was crying all the time, I would go into fits of rage so severe I felt like my heart was exploding in my chest, pulling my hair out, not being able to breathe or think. Here, I have these 2 beautiful gifts from God whom I love more than my next breath and would die for, and I felt like I was crumbling under an enormous weight. I used to feel smart. Now, putting sentences together can feel like a distracted task, forget giving me a real problem to solve. And I hate it, I love my life, but I hate it! Does that make any sense? If you have PPD I'm sure it does. So the anti depressant I was on, as my doctor warned me, caused me to gain weight. So I stopped. Now, I'm overweight and feel like a lunatic again. But then I think to myself "It's been 3 years! Get over it, you're just a selfish insecure brat who just can't be grateful for your life!" At least that's what my husband says as well. So, my question to you, is how long did you or have you suffered? What worked? I avoided therapy because like I said, I feel partly in denial and partly like there's something seriously wrong with me that can never be fixed. Can I go back to my doctor and it still be PPD after almost 3 years?
by SlapItHighMarch 16, 2013 at 12:58 AMI'm so sorry you are going through this. Have you had your thyroid checked? Hugs!!!
I also had ppd after having my daughter with in about 2 weeks. I was in total denial and avoided everything and everyone for months until it got so bad I could t care for my daughter anymore. My husband litlerly dragged me to a thaipist and have been seeing her since. I now have finially started feeling like a person again. And now we are expecting again and even though I'm scarred I feel ready now . It turned out I had so much to talk about and that is what caused it. And with that and the difficult delivery I just couldn't handle it.
I don't think it would be ppd anymore at this point, it would be more chronic acute depression ( don't take my word as diagnosis though). You can absolutely go back and tall to your doctor, but you will probably be given another rx, and not a whole lot else. Getting over depression is a lot of work, its almost like maintaining a marriage. You have to get up each day and make a conscious effort to take care of yourself. Examine your diet and lifestyle. Do you get enough fresh food? Do you exercise daily? Take a multi vitamin, and add 1000 iu of vitamin d on top of that, daily. It will help with energy level, which will help with the depression.
Find something to do for yourself every day. Doesn't matter what, but it has to be for you and you alone, something that makes you happy, feel normal, feel whole. It could be something as simple as taking a bubble bath. In addition to daily time, take an afternoon, or whatever chunk of time each week to get out if the house for time to do what you want. Reconnect with friends, per sue a hobby, volunteer somewhere. No kids allowed.
Be consistent about these things. They all helped me. It also helped to avoid my triggers until I felt capable of dealing with them in a healthy way.
Remember also, depression isnt like the flu, where rest and good things make it go away for good. It is many times a chronic condition, where you will improve and feel normal after working on it and taking care of yourself, but it can creep up on you if you become lax about it. And unlike pills, which can make you feel better quick, the methods I took take a bit of time. But they aren't band aid methods. You learn to cope, and you learn how to pull yourself back out of the pit when you fall in.
Anyway, its late, I hope this makes at least a little sense.