My ex husband and I always agreed on not spanking our son. Time outs have always worked the same for him. About over 6 months ago my son told his babysitter that my exs new wife had spanked him. He was just about to turn 3. I called my ex as soon as my babysitter told me, he said that he would never allow that to happen. That she new exactly how we felt and she knew he would not tolerate it. He is just as strict about the no spanking as I am, especially when it comes to someone besides us doing it. So I just blew it off as just a misinterpretation from a toddler. Theres been a thousand times hes gotten a boo boo, and when someone asked how he got it he'd say mommy did it, and of coarse I know I didnt. Kids just dont know how to fully get everything out so its often misunderstood. But I've still wondered in the back of my mind weather or not she did spank him.
Yesterday my ex came over and was telling me they where having some issues, because they just had a son together, and she believes in spanking. I didn't want to get in the middle so I didnt get to much into it, but it really brought back the day that my son claimed she spanked him. That little mommy instinct believes she did. But with my ex and her both denying it, and now my son can communicate better its been to long for him to remember.
I know if she would do it now he would tell me, but I am just so mad that she had the guts to hit my child!! I do not trust her alone with him anymore, but i know my ex will not listen and continue to leave them alone because he truly believes she didnt.
UGH, just frustrated. Even if I did spank him, I would never allow someone besides me or his father to do it!! What if she does it agian?
She needs to respect you both and not spank him. i hate saying this, but what she does with her child is her business. Although, her and your ex need to come to an understanding about their child.
Thats what I told him, all i said was "She's the mom and will be doing most the raising, but at the same time she needs to understand your point, just work it out" What they do with their kid is their busisness. I wouldn't spank her kid though so she should keep her hands off mine.
Like you said, your son is old enough now to come to you and tell you if his step mom ever spanks him. You will probably never know if she spanked him in the past or not so dont let it eat you up. If she did spank him it probably was a one time thing (not that thats ok) because he would remember and be able to tell you now if it continued to happen. I dont really think at this point its a reason to be worried about him being alone with his step mom. If she spanks him now or in the future, contact your lawyer and see what can be done. If nothing else it might freak her out enough that you got lawyers involved that she wont do it again.
by SlapItHighMarch 13 at 1:17 PM
There's no way to know. If she does it in the future, you'll have to address it with the child's father but I'm not sure how you can control what happens when there is a divorce and a new spouse.