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aprilz1225
venting after my father-in-law's passing away unexpectedly.. sorry if it sounds rude..
March 10, 2013 at 9:21 AM

 My FIL passed away unexpectedly this past Feb 25th.  Funeral was that friday. hubby and i live 20 mins away from them the other siblings live in MD and CA. Now that all is over they all have returned to thier lives at home, but me. I am helping their mom with the will, the ins. policies, finding a new home.. things like that. Hubby left this morning for a 2wk work assignment in Canada!!! ugh!!! I have called and texted his sibs to ask questions and such about things they would like to have and if they had any questions for me to ask the attorney for them... NO REPLIES!!!!  NO CALLS OF HOW CAN WE HELP?  NOTHING!!!!! What gets me is that i am a former Real Estate Agent, now mom wants to sell the house, my hubby's sister's husband wants to take a week off in April to over see the sell of the house??? REALY?!!?!?.. sorry just flustrated, what would happen if we didn' live 20 mins away?  sorry just a bit aggervated!!!

Replies

  • Janet
    by Janet
    March 10, 2013 at 9:32 AM
    I wouldn't worry about the siblings. Just you and his mother do it.I can see why your frustrated. Just think of it as helping his mother out.
  • aprilz1225
    March 10, 2013 at 11:10 AM

     i am, and i am glad and that we are here to help her. her and i have a good relationship, thank the heavens.

     

    Quoting Janet:

    I wouldn't worry about the siblings. Just you and his mother do it.I can see why your frustrated. Just think of it as helping his mother out.

     

  • MistressMinerva
    March 10, 2013 at 12:13 PM

    I would just have you and his Mother do it. They don't seem to want to be part of it so it's there loss.

  • cjsix
    by cjsix
    March 10, 2013 at 12:21 PM

     I would just do what is needed and what you mil wants to do. You tried to contact them and they didn't respond for whatever reason,their choice. As for bil wanting to take a week off "to oversee the sale of the house" to bad don't bother is what he should be told. First it takes longer than a week to seel a house and second it sounds like he(they)want to have a hand in the sale for the money? maybe I'm wrong but...well,you don't really need him to come for that reason I think you can handle it fine without them.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    March 10, 2013 at 5:00 PM
    You are a good daughter in law.

    Quoting aprilz1225:

     i am, and i am glad and that we are here to help her. her and i have a good relationship, thank the heavens.


     


    Quoting Janet:

    I wouldn't worry about the siblings. Just you and his mother do it.I can see why your frustrated. Just think of it as helping his mother out.

     

  • want10more
    March 11, 2013 at 4:30 AM

    can't blame u for going nutz! but it sounds as if maybe you are the most informed. who is the personal representative? the mom? hubby's sister's husband should not get a say, to my mind. he is gettin awful pushy, sounds like. and ok yeah, ur not blood either, but at least ur trained, and experienced. hey u've reached out to sibs, n gotten no response. sounds like the mom is depending on you. she wouldn't if she didn't trust u implicitly. (keep in mind i'm an opinionated bitch) but...... i say work w/ ur mil. do the best you can by her in the whole real estate thingee. u'd not steer her wrong. and maybe? are u in a position to ask her for power of atty? it might be a relief to her, to know she can just wash her hands of it, and let you take over. i mean, if ur willing. at least then, you could kick the hubby's sister's husband out, and do what you know is best for your mil.

  • mousesmommy5610
    March 11, 2013 at 4:46 AM
    My hubbys father passed way unexpectedly back in June. Hubby and his twin are the only bio kids, and his parents are no longer married, hubby is the oldest of the two and the only married one between them. We are only in our early twenties,and we were next to kin, we had to do the funeral, the arrangments talk with police, coroners clean out his apartment do the obit etc. And not a single person other than hubby and I wanted to help.... They just wanted material items. And us to cut his hair (the man had shoulder length hair and had it long like that for years since his teens I'd say) they wanted bits of his ashes etc!!! I was so pissed. When I did the o it and memorial booklet thing and his family found out I did it not my hubby they effing flipped out, when they found out I agreed to have him creamated they flipped(.that's what he wanted) in all the mix hubby couldn't deal with it all so I got stuck with it... I don't mind and I didn't mind until I had no time to grieve myself..... Plus I asked for TWO things out of his dads a white chair its comfy, and the wind chime that hung outside his door.... Hubbys brother decided that I didn't deserve the chime but his dads neighbors did and I was soo dang upset.... So I totally understand where ur coming from....
  • Basherte
    March 11, 2013 at 8:02 AM

    I agree here.

    You tried to contact the sibs. They chose to not respond to it. I wouldn't try to contact them again. Your MIL reached out to you. 

    Sorry for your loss.

    Good luck.

    Quoting Janet:

    I wouldn't worry about the siblings. Just you and his mother do it.I can see why your frustrated. Just think of it as helping his mother out.


  • suetoo
    by suetoo
    March 11, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    I'm glad you can help, but I can see big anger dumping on you down the road from other siblings. Please document everything you do and discuss. Send sibs emails of everything your mil tells you to do, quote her, and print every email and text message for a notebook. If you don't get a reply, send email documenting your concern at not getting a reply. I am worried that you won't just get 'caught' in the middle...you'll get slammed.

  • goddess99
    March 11, 2013 at 1:16 PM

    I'm sorry you're going through that.

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