I have a 10, soon to be 11 year old daughter who goes back and forth between mine and my husband's house and her dad's. I have 50/50 custody with him, she stays with me during the week and goes to his house every weekend.
For the past few months she has made it very clear that she doesn't enjoy going over there. She says all he does is drink or is asleep and she is practically by herself all the time. She told him before she didn't want to go over there every weekend and he about blew a gasket and said he would change (that lasted about a week (reminds me of when I was married to him)).
Last month she asked if there was anything the courts could do to change the arrangement we have. I told her there is some paperwork we can file to see about switching it. I told her if we do this the judge will probably want to talk to you and she said "I'll be honest and tell the judge all my dad does it drink alcohol and pass out. I have to cook myself something to eat. Plus I want to live at your house because you have more structure."
I haven't done any of the paper work and she keeps asking me about it. Any suggestions?!?!?!?! In Arizona the child has to be 13 to choose which parent he/she would like to live with; but I think sometimes kids are smarter younger.
by splatzFebruary 17 at 10:23 AMOh gosh... I'm not sure what you could do. I would assume a guardian ad litem would talk to her and find out what her wishes are and what its like at his home. But, no idea how much the court would take that into account.
February 17 at 10:25 AMIDK, I'd fill out the paperwork & see what happens.
by momamandaFebruary 17 at 12:04 PM
I would Go ahead with it! She doesn't need to be in that enviroment and if anything maybe it will force him to change so he can become the dad she needs!
I know you're right! I so Agree!
He drinks and passes out? I would call CPS and have your dd talk to them. That is unacceptable. Then I would contact the courts. I wouldn't wait. I would have done this the 1st time she said something to me.
by JanetFebruary 17 at 4:29 PMI would contact the court and see what you can do about it. I'm sure they will do something about it.
by Pammi86February 17 at 6:58 PM
I would talk to a lawyer about your options here!
February 17 at 7:12 PM
I would talk to the courts or lawyers on what to do.
by Ebaum31February 18 at 12:57 AM
The courts out here will not offer "advice" on anything; they are pretty worthless. I'm going to call around to the lawyers out here to see if any do a free consultation to see what they recommend because I was looking through the paperwork and a lot of the stuff doesn't make sense to me.
She just mentioned this to me in December, she said he doesn't "pass out" but he will spend most of the day sleeping. He blames it on working to much. He did the same thing when we were married, so that's nothing different. He already knows my feelings on his lack of "supervision" while she is there. Sometimes he will take her to his parent's house and then go back to his house to go back to sleep.
by nermall1102February 19 at 1:24 AMHi sweetie, try www.aboutthechildren.org
They r a non prpfit organization. They can help with paperwork, court process etc. And help guide you through the process. Good luck. Feel free to messege me. I will look amd see what other resiurces etc i can find.