Mom to Mom
Last summer I found out his wife was pregnant and they had separated. The baby was born the end of January and it had methadone, heroin and crack in its system. My ex gave my number to thethe social worker. She called me to ask for info on my ex and his wifes parenting. I told her how my ex was when he and I were together which wasn't so bad. I would trust him but with his wife he's a totally different person. After they went to court for placement my oldest child found on his facebook that his father had gotten back with his wife. My son didn't even know about the baby and is very upset now.
I really didn't want my kids to know about the baby and definitely didn't want them to feel upset or abandoned. My son says he feels betrayed by his dad.
Not only did my ex ignore our children for his new wife but now he's trying to rub it in and hurt our kids.
I have refused to tell our younger children and have told my ex not to mention it.
Am I doing the right thing in the situation? I don't want my opinion on the situation to get in the way of the relationship my kids have with their father but I feel I need to protect them from this bad situation.
Replies
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Oh this is an awful situation. I'm sorry. Well in a way I'd be glad that your ex hasn't wanted your kids to be around, more for their own safety. Obviously that is not a healthy household. I'm
assuminghoping that baby was taken into protective services and your ex and his wife have no real contact. Idk if I would tell the younger kids either. I would talk to your oldest and try to explain as good and simply as possible. -
very well said! Agreed!
Quoting goddess99:
Oh this is an awful situation. I'm sorry. Well in a way I'd be glad that your ex hasn't wanted your kids to be around, more for their own safety. Obviously that is not a healthy household. I'm
assuminghoping that baby was taken into protective services and your ex and his wife have no real contact. Idk if I would tell the younger kids either. I would talk to your oldest and try to explain as good and simply as possible. -
Yes the baby is in CPS custody. She is still in the neonatal ICU. But my ex and his wife are allowed to see her. Wile I believe strongly that a neonate needs to be given all the care possible I don't think being around someone as dangerous as her mother is safe. I have tried my best to explain this situation to my son as simply as I can but he is very upset. I just don't understand how my ex can cause the pain and disappointment he does.
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Yeah so many times men just don't think about their actions and who it will affect. Good luck with everything! I hope the best for everyone involved.
Quoting thickerthan:
Yes the baby is in CPS custody. She is still in the neonatal ICU. But my ex and his wife are allowed to see her. Wile I believe strongly that a neonate needs to be given all the care possible I don't think being around someone as dangerous as her mother is safe. I have tried my best to explain this situation to my son as simply as I can but he is very upset. I just don't understand how my ex can cause the pain and disappointment he does. -
I agree!
Quoting goddess99:
Oh this is an awful situation. I'm sorry. Well in a way I'd be glad that your ex hasn't wanted your kids to be around, more for their own safety. Obviously that is not a healthy household. I'm
assuminghoping that baby was taken into protective services and your ex and his wife have no real contact. Idk if I would tell the younger kids either. I would talk to your oldest and try to explain as good and simply as possible. -
i don't know what to tell you except here's a bump and good luck!!
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Tricky situation, :( -
well my ex does the same thing except we live in the same city soo he sees them once every 3 months which is despicable anyway....but he seems to care more about his new gf and kids as well.....and im constantly telling my sons its ok and comforting them when they cry cause their dad doesnt want to take them. But they will grow up and they will remember which parent was their for them, and the absent parent will have to explain themselves later. They will reap what they sow. All i can do is comfort them and show them that life can still be great even if their real dad isnt around , and that they have soo much more familly that loves them. Just remind your kids who IS there for them...and even if u cant control what their dad posts on fb....they dont have to be friends with him if it hurts too much. Its probably best if they arent seeing all of that. And once ur kids grow up to be great people ur ex will see what he missed out on and he will regret it when its too late, and that will be his loss.
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I would tell them only because if they find out by someone else they may get mad you hid it from them. I also understand you not wanting to tell them. Karma will come around and bite your ex and his wife in the butt. I hope everything works out for you and your kids.