Mom to Mom
My ten yr old is out of hand latley. Its getting hard physically, emotionaly, and mentaly to handle him anymore. I feel at my breaking point. Sometimes i even think to myself that it might be easier sending him to my moms to live. But im in fear that he would cause her stress. He doesn't want to listen. He does what he wants to. He talks and treats me like im dumb:(
He picks on his two youger sisters. Constantly argues wity my partner and i.
I feel like im stretching myself thin just to please him. While the rest of the family suffers. :(
Does anyone have any advice?
Replies
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How does he do in school? Maybe he could see the guidance counselor? *hugs* -
Is this new behavior? Did something change in your lives lately? Maybe something at school? A fight with a friend? Getting picked on? A subject became harder for him than it used to be? I would talk to his teacher. Then maybe make an appointment with a pediatrician to make sure it's not a physical issue. Just throwing some ideas out! Good luck Mama! -
Can I get some more info? What tactics have you taken to curb his behavior? What disciplinary actions? What are some other outside influences that could be bringing on this behavior? I'm not trying to pry just get a better picture. Do you share custody of your son with anyone? How is he doing in school? Have you talked to his teacher about this behavior to see if maybe there is a problem in school that you are unaware of?
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A 10 yr old is old enough to take part in his own behavior. I would be honest with him that his behavior is unacceptable, and let him be part of the decison as to what his punishment will be. Maybe he is starting to need a little of control in his life and this will allow you to still be in control, and will help make him be accountable for his actions.
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Puberty. He needs love, support, affection, along with increased privacy and increased freedom.
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Do you have a church?
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At 10 there's alot going on in a kids life. Make sure he knows he can't walk all over you, and that You're the parent. Partner? Is there a new step parent in the family? That can be difficult for kids as well.
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He may or not be enterying puberty but even if he is that is no exsuse for unacceptable behavior. I see no reason at all to reward bad behavior with more freedom either!
Quoting SlapItHigh:
Puberty. He needs love, support, affection, along with increased privacy and increased freedom.
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I like your suggestions. I agree, we need a bit more info. to offer suggestions to help.
Quoting MamaMoopsie:
Can I get some more info? What tactics have you taken to curb his behavior? What disciplinary actions? What are some other outside influences that could be bringing on this behavior? I'm not trying to pry just get a better picture. Do you share custody of your son with anyone? How is he doing in school? Have you talked to his teacher about this behavior to see if maybe there is a problem in school that you are unaware of?
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Sorry, but not all of us look at meeting our children's needs as "rewarding" them. Rewards and punishments don't work --- opposite ends of the same stick. Science has proven this. Science has shown us what motivates people and one of the main ways to motivate a person from within is autonomy. A 9yo needs that. You can keep ignoring their needs and trying to motivate them through punishments and rewards but it will never work. That mentality needs to be ditched as all it results in is a world full of people who only care what they personally get out of their actions. Meet the need, change the world!
Quoting pegleg63:
He may or not be enterying puberty but even if he is that is no exsuse for unacceptable behavior. I see no reason at all to reward bad behavior with more freedom either!
Quoting SlapItHigh:
Puberty. He needs love, support, affection, along with increased privacy and increased freedom.