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Would You Refuse To Hand Over The Baby?
January 15, 2013 at 12:14 PM

Babysitter Who Refused to Give Baby Back to Mother Was Just Doing Her Job

Posted by Adriana Velez

cocktailsShould a child care worker ever hand over a baby to a drunk parent? A New Year's Eve fight broke out over that question when a "highly intoxicated" mother attempted to pick up her 2-month-old baby from a babysitter. She attacked two other people and was later arrested.

This was not just an argument, either. The mother hit one of the victims several times in the face, arms, and chest, and the second victim in the face. I don't know where the baby was during this fight, but I just hope he or she was a safe distance from this altercation and not in one of the victims' arms. I guess I'd have to hear more about the story to really say ... but maybe it was a good call not to let the baby go home with the mother?

I can imagine the mama-bear rage that would be unleashed if a sitter refused to hand over a baby. I'm sure the mother was outraged (and maybe a little embarrassed) to be told she was too drunk to take her baby. And then of course there's that lingering threat hanging over that accusation -- if you're too drunk to take your baby home, maybe you're a lousy mother. Maybe you're a total screw-up in life.

I don't know if the mother was driving, either. I would feel less nervous about sending a baby home with a drunk mother if I knew she at least had a safe way to get home. (I would still feel uneasy, though.) But if I knew she was getting behind the wheel of a car with that baby? No way. Better to suffer the mom's wrath than to let an accident happen.

People in that state can become irrational -- and dangerous. But what if the mother wasn't really that drunk? What if it was just a bad judgement call? I don't know that I'm completely comfortable with the idea of a sitter being in the position to make that call. I've come home to a sitter after parties or dinners where I did have something to drink. I don't like getting drunk in the first place, so I've never been in that position. But I think I'd get kind of defensive if I came home a little "happy" and was then accused of being unfit to stay with my baby. 

I guess when in doubt, the sitters should call the police. But what are you supposed to do while you wait for them to arrive? For all I know, that's what these two people did, and the fight broke out while they were waiting for the police to arrive and make the call. Still, you could look at it this way: These two people may have saved a baby's life.

Do you think a babysitter should refuse to hand over a child to their parent if they suspect the parent is drunk?

Would YOU refuse to hand over the baby?

Replies

  • Iron-range-girl
    January 15, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    I would not have give the baby to the drunk mothermother

  • sk8rspixie24
    January 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM

    i think the babysitter was in every way right not to give the baby to the drunk mother but i do have to admit if i were in the mothers shoes i would be a little irrated also

  • mommyof2andTTC
    January 15, 2013 at 1:11 PM

     it goes both ways for me... was the baby at the babysitters home? or in the mothers home? was the mother driving? or did she have a way home? Was she falling over puking type drunk? or was she tipsy? So many factors can come into play here... I think if the mother was smelling STRONGLY of alcohol then no,, I would have told the mother that the baby could stay the night so that she could have some peace for a night so as to be as gentle as possible with the situation... but if the mother was clearly just tipsy then i would offer to strap the baby in as the mother got the bag and toys (as long as she wasnt driving!)

  • auntangelofsix
    January 15, 2013 at 2:00 PM
    I agree

    Quoting sk8rspixie24:

    i think the babysitter was in every way right not to give the baby to the drunk mother but i do have to admit if i were in the mothers shoes i would be a little irrated also

  • Beauty91805
    January 15, 2013 at 2:07 PM
    I personally would try to initiate conversation with the mother to try and determine whether or not she was capable of taking the baby or not. If she wasn't then I would try to help her, like call someone to get her or call her a cab. Depending on the situation I would probably have called the cops if she left with her child instead of being reasonable, because refusing her her child would only set her off. This is really tough. Thank God I don't babysit but I work at a child care center, where I would have my directors help if anything.
  • goddess99
    January 15, 2013 at 2:08 PM

    I wouldn't give the baby to a drunk.

  • Tmanmom
    by Tmanmom
    January 15, 2013 at 3:45 PM
    I wouldn't give the baby to the mother either. That would be a really tough situation.
  • DragonMother10
    January 15, 2013 at 4:00 PM
    Maybe the babysitter knew how drunk the mother was. I mean to not give the baby back to her mother at a party she must have been pretty drunk. The fact the mother assult two people says a lot about her drinking. If the babysitter was in the wrong, I am sure the other people at the party would intervene. Clearly there was a reason why she didn't want to give her the baby. As a mother, my drinking days are over, especially since I nurse. Maybe I will decide to drink again, but I wouldn't get myself drunk, not with my son being around. So there would be no reason why anyone wouldn't give me back my baby.
  • Phipps24
    January 15, 2013 at 4:11 PM

    I wouldn't in my opinion but it's not the baby sitters decision to make

  • Mama_Gillogley
    January 16, 2013 at 1:23 AM

    i agree with THIS ->

    Quoting mommyof2andTTC:

     it goes both ways for me... was the baby at the babysitters home? or in the mothers home? was the mother driving? or did she have a way home? Was she falling over puking type drunk? or was she tipsy? So many factors can come into play here... I think if the mother was smelling STRONGLY of alcohol then no,, I would have told the mother that the baby could stay the night so that she could have some peace for a night so as to be as gentle as possible with the situation... but if the mother was clearly just tipsy then i would offer to strap the baby in as the mother got the bag and toys (as long as she wasnt driving!)