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angellily44
Mom of 4..no "Real" friends.
January 9, 2013 at 1:19 PM



Hi, so lately I feel like everyone has a group of friends they can confide in or just hang out with except me. I get on facebook and see pics of friends hanging out or joking back and forth about this or that. I moved here a few years ago because my husband is from here and has a good job. When we got married he had 2 boys, which he has full custody of. So I became a mom right away. The first year was like playing house and it never really bothered me that I didnt have any good friends or family around. But since then we have added a little girl, who is now 3 and also have one one the way. Lately, I feel like such a loser because my husband always has friends coming over or hes going over there and all I do is just chill at the house. It gets very lonely. I have tried to be friends with some of my husbands friends but they all have their established friends and I dont want to be what I call a "charity friend." I know Im not the only one who feels like this, I guess it just goes with being a a stay at home mom. I also do go to church but everyone is a lot older or a lot younger than me and its hard for me to find a babysitter for my kids. I guess Im just looking for people who are or have been in the same boat. I want to be able to enjoy my kids and the blessing i have, because my kids wont be little forever.

Thanks,

no friends

Replies

  • dreambig4u2
    January 18, 2013 at 1:16 AM

    Hi there honey.. OK.. let's establish a few things here for you.. 1st.. Your job as a Stay at Home Mom IS WITHOUT A DOUBT... The single biggest investment in your kids' life you can have... 2nd.. YOU deserve time alone.. Make your husband stay home with the kids once a week for a few hours so you can do WHATEVER you want... read a book, go for a walk, go for a drive... 3rd.. MAKE SURE you and your husband have a date night once a month... THIS IS one of the biggest mistakes young parents do... FORGET to spend time together... 4th... KNOW that you are allowed to be a successful stay at home mom WITHOUT giving up your identity and desires...  I can say... I am happily married... LOVE my husband.. Been married over 20 years, I am 40 years old... 3 healthy beautiful children.. all done through teamwork AND support from family and friends.. You don't feel like you have friends right now?? Join a MOPS group... Mothers of Preschoolers.. They usually meet once a week, or twice a month.. Email me directly if you would like... dreambig4u2@gmail.com... I also run a VERY successful business from home I can introduce you to..good luck!  God Bless!

  • Wonderfulmom314
    January 18, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    I'm also a mother of 4 and it can get lonely , and my husband has his friends and he goes out on the weekends sometimes and I'm just in the house with the kids, I had a friend that I used to hang out with but see moved we went almost everywhere together with  the kids. But I know I can always go out with my husband but I don't like for just any one to watch my kids and I have a 5month old so u know how that can be.

  • mygirls2012
    January 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    what state do you live in?? yes its hard with 4 young ones im sure (i know when mine were young) the school will still let you volunteer and bring the 3 year old, how old are your others? I would send in notes to the teachers asking if you can volunteer and bring your lil one.. im here for you too if you  need to talk hugs

  • mommy2be402
    January 18, 2013 at 5:16 PM
    hi sorry you're feeling that way I too have the same issues, have you ever thought about going to a local gym?? taking some kind of an aerobics class or finding any other classes?? Hell, just you getting out will help you over this isolated depression...
    Hope this helps or let's U know your not alone.. :-)
  • Muffins89
    January 18, 2013 at 5:28 PM
    I pretty much know the feeling. I'm a stay at home mom of 2 and last April we move up here to upstate New York where my fiancé is from leaving all of my friends 11hours behind and no money on either end to visit or anything. So my fiancé gets to go out and see his friends or have them over and in always home unless we go to the store or dr or occasionally go off just because. But I'm always with the kids and basically always at home. My only "friend" here is the lady I babysit for. And then I have my fiancé's family but that's not the same. So I know how you feel =/ it's a sucky situation for sure
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