Mom to Mom

I know it was rude but was it wrong?
January 8, 2013 at 7:57 PM
Today was my daughters first day staying after school after the Sandy Hook tragedy. There is a buzz in system to let parents in and a camera for safety. When I was walking up to the school there was a few mothers in front of me and a lady coming out held the door for the group of us. Before stepping in the woman on the intercomr frantically asked "can I help you" and instead of walking through the door we all waited for permission to enter the school. I was the one to walk in last and there was a man, with a limp and cane (I now assume he its a war vet and feel even worse for this) who called out can you hold the door for me, but he was about ten ft behind. I said sorry I can't and even went as far as helping the door shut. I felt terrible after and when we were in the pick up area I explained to him it was nothing personal I didnt notice he had a cane, and I even went on about how I didnt want to get in trouble with the front office. He said it was fine and he just wanted to pick his daughter up and walked away. I understand he may be insulated and though I know I would have acted different if he were a woman, or a man that I didnt think was putting on a rouse acting helpless (yes I know horrible of me) to get into the school, I still feel it wasnt my place to say yes you can come into the school. I cant seem to let this incident go. Did I completely overact or should I hope other parents react the same way,?


  • Megan11587
    January 9, 2013 at 7:50 AM
    Is it horrible that I automatically thought of Seinfeld episode with the neighbor that he shut out of the apartment complex? Lol.
  • goddess99
    January 9, 2013 at 9:23 AM

    If you have to be buzzed into the school and he was asking you to hold the door so he wouldn't have to be buzzed in then I think you did the right thing. Safety first, cane or not.

  • OliviasMommy611
    January 9, 2013 at 9:26 AM
    Wow I don't know
  • MamaMoopsie
    January 9, 2013 at 10:05 AM

    I'm afraid I would have held the door. You reacted though, and went with your gut, which is all we can expect a parent to do. I say, let it go. You're human and you do feel bad, but ultimately you didn't do anything terrible. I mean, yeah, he had a cane but he can still push a button and open a door without too much hassle.

  • MichelleMc
    January 9, 2013 at 10:18 AM


    Quoting DianeMarie85:

    I actually felt prior when she opened the door and let the mothers in she should have waited for them to be buzzed in and they should have been the one s to hold the door for her. This is the reason there is a locked door to begin with.

    Quoting MichelleMc:

    I think it is totally wrong for you to say you have acted differently that it is a women. I get so sick of men hate. My gosh people, lets get real. Women are child molesters, women are killers, lets get over this women are great thing, and stop thinking it is okay to chum up to women, they would be the first to stab you in the back. Women cyberbullied a teenage girl by pretending to be a teen boy. Women are down right evil.

    You seen he had a limp & a cane, you think he would go thru all that to sneak into the school? I mean, my gosh.

    The lady held the door for the group of you, but you wouldn't hold it for him? Yeah it is rude & wrong.

    Seriously? You feel guilty  because you know you are wrong. Plain & simple.

    A. there hasn't been a women? Come on. There has been lots of murders. Just because she hasn't hit a school yet, doesn't mean that women don't use guns to kill people. It hasn't been a school yet, but has PP poster said, YET. There has been Accomplishes.

    B. did you go in that do unbuzzed? Then you are just as wrong. If you didn't say No thanks. I will let it closed & be buzzed in. You are just as wrong.

    C. Posting this, means you know you were wrong.

    D. Which should be C. if you explained yourself to him, you know you were wrong. He would know why you did it. ( Though I bet he saw you go thru the unbuzzed door. )You didn't need to explain yourself. But you know you felt guilty. Mainly, because you knew, it was man hate, versus because of the "system and safety". If it was a lady with a cane, you would have been all over it, waiting for her to get thru. So say what it is really is, and don't hide because the system & safety. It is because you were scared, he was going to shoot up the school because he was a man.

    Living in this horrible constant fear is giving the killers the upper hand. Yes, it is awful. Yes we have to be cautious but at what cost? Being inhuman?

  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    January 9, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    I would have waited after he was buzzed and opened the door for him.

  • DixieFlower
    January 9, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    Actually there have been a few female school shooters and one was at an elm school. That one was about 33 yrs ago. However, there was one at a college in 2008 that killed two people and then herself. Not exactly "mass shooting" on that one but there have been women that shoot in schools.

    Quoting DianeMarie85:

    The only man part about my post is I have never heard of woman mass shooting which is why I was more weary of a man. I didid however walking up to the school feel there should be an armed guard which I was previously against and that was because people aren't suppose to hold doors into a buzzed school and the whole system seemed unsafe.

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