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DianeMarie85
I know it was rude but was it wrong?
January 8, 2013 at 7:57 PM
Today was my daughters first day staying after school after the Sandy Hook tragedy. There is a buzz in system to let parents in and a camera for safety. When I was walking up to the school there was a few mothers in front of me and a lady coming out held the door for the group of us. Before stepping in the woman on the intercomr frantically asked "can I help you" and instead of walking through the door we all waited for permission to enter the school. I was the one to walk in last and there was a man, with a limp and cane (I now assume he its a war vet and feel even worse for this) who called out can you hold the door for me, but he was about ten ft behind. I said sorry I can't and even went as far as helping the door shut. I felt terrible after and when we were in the pick up area I explained to him it was nothing personal I didnt notice he had a cane, and I even went on about how I didnt want to get in trouble with the front office. He said it was fine and he just wanted to pick his daughter up and walked away. I understand he may be insulated and though I know I would have acted different if he were a woman, or a man that I didnt think was putting on a rouse acting helpless (yes I know horrible of me) to get into the school, I still feel it wasnt my place to say yes you can come into the school. I cant seem to let this incident go. Did I completely overact or should I hope other parents react the same way,?

Replies

  • Amberleigh81
    January 8, 2013 at 8:02 PM
    I would have waited and held the door after he'd been buzzed, but that is me. I don't think differently of men and women about common courtesy.
  • DianeMarie85
    January 8, 2013 at 8:05 PM
    There is no buzzing once the door is open though
  • MichelleMc
    January 8, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    I think it is totally wrong for you to say you have acted differently that it is a women. I get so sick of men hate. My gosh people, lets get real. Women are child molesters, women are killers, lets get over this women are great thing, and stop thinking it is okay to chum up to women, they would be the first to stab you in the back. Women cyberbullied a teenage girl by pretending to be a teen boy. Women are down right evil.

    You seen he had a limp & a cane, you think he would go thru all that to sneak into the school? I mean, my gosh.

    The lady held the door for the group of you, but you wouldn't hold it for him? Yeah it is rude & wrong.

  • DragonMother10
    January 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM
    Well, one hand I would feel bad as well, and the other I think you did the right thing. You didn't know this man, and just because he had a cane, doesn't meant he could not be a potential danger. (Not saying he was.) You were only following protocol, so don't feel too bad. I almost forgot to add, you shouldn't be biased either.
  • DianeMarie85
    January 8, 2013 at 8:34 PM
    The only man part about my post is I have never heard of woman mass shooting which is why I was more weary of a man. I didid however walking up to the school feel there should be an armed guard which I was previously against and that was because people aren't suppose to hold doors into a buzzed school and the whole system seemed unsafe.
  • DragonMother10
    January 8, 2013 at 8:48 PM
    Well no woman has yet.
  • DianeMarie85
    January 8, 2013 at 8:48 PM
    I actually felt prior when she opened the door and let the mothers in she should have waited for them to be buzzed in and they should have been the one s to hold the door for her. This is the reason there is a locked door to begin with.


    Quoting MichelleMc:

    I think it is totally wrong for you to say you have acted differently that it is a women. I get so sick of men hate. My gosh people, lets get real. Women are child molesters, women are killers, lets get over this women are great thing, and stop thinking it is okay to chum up to women, they would be the first to stab you in the back. Women cyberbullied a teenage girl by pretending to be a teen boy. Women are down right evil.


    You seen he had a limp & a cane, you think he would go thru all that to sneak into the school? I mean, my gosh.


    The lady held the door for the group of you, but you wouldn't hold it for him? Yeah it is rude & wrong.


  • wifeynmommie80
    January 8, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    My sons school has had an active security gate around it for a while now. Like its attached to the school from floor to ceiling, so you cannot get in,  So I know how you feel. I do not let anyone in if they are behind me, I could get in trouble by the school. So no I don't think you reacted horribly. However you have to wait your turn to get in after 8am man or woman.

  • squocket
    January 8, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    You didn't do the best thing, but you did do the right thing by not just letting him in. It would have been better to allow the door to close and explain to him that you would help him with it after he had been admitted. I almost told you to wait outside with him, but that would have put you in danger. Get inside yourself and then help with the door once the school has cleared him for entry or inform the office that there is a man outside who will need help entering the school and let them handle it. Also, not sure why people are getting down on you for being biased against men. I got what you were trying to say. Although, I think it might be even worse to let a healthy looking man or woman stroll through the door unchecked.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    January 9, 2013 at 7:47 AM

     It sounds like you feel guilty about it now that you have time to think about it. Don't beat yourself up about it you were just doing what you thought was right at the moment.

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