Featured Posts
Mrs.Bolin
for those of you that have been through this.....Update
January 7, 2013 at 3:08 PM

Does your man curse, tell you to shut up etc, in front of your kids? I understand my man is stressed and tired and he has been working nights 7 days a week. He is a wonderful husband, my bestest friend ever and a wonderful daddy. Im very lucky to have this man. but over something little and stupid that we argue about, he told me to shutup in front of my 4 yr old today and dropped a F-bomb. I told him not to talk to me like that in front of my daughter and he told me to shutup again and walked out of the room. Serously? There is no exuse for that. I grew up with my dad as an alcoholic and he and my mom constantly fighting and my dad never hit my mom but he pushed her alot. I know my husbands parents argued alot when he was young and still do but never physical. It bothers me cause i never wanted my man to be like that with me in front of my kids. Any of you experienced this?

So i brought it up to him this morning while my baby was asleep and my daughter was at school. I told him that i know i havent been innocent in the past either(he rolled his eyes at me) cause i know he didnt wanna hear it. I told him that i know you are tired and stressed from work. When we are disagreeing over something if you would please not talk to me in front of the kids like that. He says "quit sayin stupid things all the time ". I said that it dont bother me when the kids arent around cause it dont. I said it again..please dont talk to me like that around the kids. I grew up with it and i dont want that with my kids. He brought up a bunch of crap that didnt have anything to do with it and i looked at him again and said that none of that matters. All i asked you was that if you would not talk to me like that around the kids. i just looked at him and walked out of the room before i blew up. I was mad. I was eating a sandwich and got pissed and threw it in the trash cause i lost my appitite. Grrrrrr. i went in the other room to fold laundry cause i clean when i get mad.After a hour, im in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and he comes in there and says something about the sandwich in the trash(normaly he gets pissed and yells). He said something about it but was totally cool. He looks at me and says " i will try not to do that stuff around them". Im thinkin..yeah right. But oh well. It took an hour for it to get through that hard head. Its cool now but that boy had my blood boiling all over again. Thanks everyone for the support. :). I knew i wasnt wrong for feeling how i did but its nice to hear it from you guys.


Replies

  • AELF
    by AELF
    January 8, 2013 at 8:23 AM
    My ex husband was very abusive physically and verbally in front of our girls. Now anytime anyone raises their voice or starts to argue my girls come running. They talk with me about it and they are still scared and have nightmares. My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years. If this becomes a habit your child will never forget it. Explain to your husband how you feel about it and what it could be doing to your child. Good luck!
  • hopealways4019
    January 8, 2013 at 9:14 AM
    I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for 10 years. Its emotionally unhealthy for everyone involved. Especially a child, because kids are like sponges absorbs everything. All the negative and postive behavior. So adults should be careful what they do and say around children.
  • annasmom1234
    January 8, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    NO!  I would drop my jaw if he ever did.

  • auntangelofsix
    January 8, 2013 at 9:55 AM
    I agree.

    Quoting SlapItHigh:

    No mine doesn't.  So sorry you are going through this.

  • 1squishysmom
    January 8, 2013 at 9:56 AM

     My husband would NEVER even dream of talking to me like that! I am so sorry. We have been married for a very long time (21yrs) and that kind of disrespect never occurred.

     My husband also works a lot. We own 2 small businesses, meaning no days off. He certainly doesn't sit at a desk (he has ADHD) and he still wouldn't talk like that to me, let alone in front of the children.

     Your husband needs a break badly and a serious talk. Our oldest son(20) has a temper when he's tired. His gf sometimes gets rude comments from him, but immediately afterwards, he always hugs her and tells her that he's sorry, that he's just so tired. They don't have children yet, but when they do, I certainly hope he can hold his temper a bit.

     Everyone gets tired. You have a choice in how you deal with it

  • Mrs.Bolin
    January 8, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    there have been a couple of times that he has come to me on his own later on and appologized. but yeah, he does need a break bad but cant get outa it. Im gonna sit down today and talk to him. He had a couple nights off from two vacations hours that he used. 

    Quoting 1squishysmom:

     My husband would NEVER even dream of talking to me like that! I am so sorry. We have been married for a very long time (21yrs) and that kind of disrespect never occurred.

     My husband also works a lot. We own 2 small businesses, meaning no days off. He certainly doesn't sit at a desk (he has ADHD) and he still wouldn't talk like that to me, let alone in front of the children.

     Your husband needs a break badly and a serious talk. Our oldest son(20) has a temper when he's tired. His gf sometimes gets rude comments from him, but immediately afterwards, he always hugs her and tells her that he's sorry, that he's just so tired. They don't have children yet, but when they do, I certainly hope he can hold his temper a bit.

     Everyone gets tired. You have a choice in how you deal with it


  • KayDziedzic
    January 8, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    I've experienced it with a parent.

    If it's a one time thing, chalk it up to a bad day and talk about it with him when he's not so tired and cranky. If it's happened before or happens again, acknowledge it as what it is (a red flag for abuse) and get yourself to a counselor or therapist asap- they'll be able to let you know if this is the start of your partner becoming abusive. You've been around it growing up, so you already know that even even if there's no physical abuse, verbal/mental/emotional abuse is harmful to everyone (including kids) in the household.

    Good luck!

  • jgates1111
    January 8, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    My husband and I have had some mini moments like that. When he gets hungry he gets "ill" or just mean. I try not to talk to him if I know he needs to eat and if he is mean to me then I just walk away. We have had one moment when he started to raise his voice at me in front of our son and i put my hand up and told him to stop, I was not a dog or beneath him in anyway and he wasnt going  treat me like I was and that one of us needed to leave the room until we both calmed down enough to talk to each other. He called me a bitch one time in front of my son and he knew he messed up, he apologized and hasnt said that word to me since and that was almost a year ago.

  • la_bella_vita
    January 8, 2013 at 2:02 PM

     No, mine does not. I'm sorry you are going through this.

  • Janet
    by Janet
    January 8, 2013 at 5:48 PM
    You wasn't wrong at all. I hope things get better.
Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN