Wish I knew that trick, I have a 10 year old who still doesn't listen but it's getting better. I read somewhere to whisper to your kids that way they have to stop what they are doing to pay attention to what you are saying.
We the hispanics have something called 'la chancleta!!!' Lol most hispanics are raised with that. Its basically a sandal... you would get hit with it every time you would do something bad, it was horrifying!! No matter how far you run or where you hide the chancleta will find you!!!! Its true but it all depends on the child... you have to try diferent ways of manipulation. Make them think that whatever they do is what they want to do... I know it might sound difficult but youll get the hang of it. I do it all the time!!! And it even works with old people!! I hope it works!! If not negotiate with him or her!! It also works!!
They are listening, they just lack the brain development to handle what you say as well as an adult would be able to. The best thing you can do is reframe your expectations and give more love, affection, validation and empathy. Then start working on giving the 3yo tools to better handle his/her emotions and actions. Don't manipulate, do the work of actualy teaching with patience. Manipulation will not give you the desired outcomes in the long run (probably not in the short term either). It takes time for a 3 yo to learn. Teach, lead and guide!! Set realistic expectations.
Work on gaining cooperation through play and connection. Turn it into a game. Power struggles are never going to end well. Play instead. Want her to pick up her toys? Turn it into a game. Make it fun. Say what you want with a funny voice and encourage her to do the same.