Tonya74461
how to deal with grown children??
December 30, 2012 at 10:49 AM

what to do after your children leave home??

Replies

  • MichelleMc
    December 30, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    As in? Time?

    Our son leaves for the Army in June. He is very independent already so we already do a lot.But are some things we have planned:

    we ( hubby & I )have camp trips planned, going to different state parks in the state. Our state has a "passport" that you can get stamped at each park. Our plan is to get them all stamped. Our anniversary is July 6th. So we are planning a big camp trip them. Our son will have already left for Basic by then. We will have a couple before that too, but that is going to be a big one.

    We joined a volunteer group with the local state parks ( we have 3 ) in our area. 

    We are going to look to work with Habitat for humanity.

    We are getting Kayaks, and going to start kayaking. We have done it with "rented" kayaks at the state park.

    We geocache & want to do that more often.

    We bike and I do that on my own some too.

    Hubby can get back into going to his gun shoots he likes. He only stopped because of his schedule. Our son went with him. They will do it this spring before our son leaves too. Hubby was 3rd shift and just couldn't go. He got back to 1st shift so can go. They can go together and then hubby can go on his own after :)

    I am into Zumba for myself & the gym also started Les Miles so will be doing CXworx & Body Combat. I have made some good friends, so it is like "hanging with the girls". 

    I scrapbook, so I do day scraps with friends but only do that late fall & winter. 

    I signed up with the Local Food Bank & they do what is called "gleans", where farmers call in & say we have a  field of food that we are donating. Then they need volunteers to show up & pick it. The food all gets donated. So I go pick it. Corn was what I have done, but they do potatoes, green beans, tomatoes, etc. It is great. Then also, There are also once a month where that food & other food is given out to the people. I helped with that once, and want to do that monthly this coming year at least one location, if not multiple locations. I want to help with other volunteer things. 

    We love to go to festivals & fairs & other events like that ( car cruises or re enacting things we might like, etc ). So I get the 3 counties in the areas calendar of events. I check out what is going on & make up a calendar in Publisher of what we might want to do so when the weekends come we have some ideas of what is going on, along with volunteer things we have or other events we might have planned. Hubby helps with Civil Air Patrol with my son now & once our son leaves, hubby will continue, so will have those events. I will have Zumbathons or Master Classes, etc. Sometimes hubby comes & takes pictures for us so we don't have to jump out to take pictures. 

    We want to take the dogs to the dog park once a month. 

    Time for us together ( hubby & I ), time for us "apart" ( him doing what he likes, what I like ), etc. We are excited. We raised our son to be independent, he has a great goal, his goal is all set & lined up and we are very proud of him. That is okay & we love him to death, and now our relationship can go to the next level of parenting and that is exciting :)

  • MistressMinerva
    December 30, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    All those things that you liked to do that you really couldn't do while the kids were at home. Do those things. Find new things to do. Keep your self busy. Take a Cruise.

  • Karenjp60
    December 30, 2012 at 2:47 PM
    It's time to think about what you want to do for YOU. You've spent the last couple of decades taking care of everyone else. Think about what you may have set aside that you used to love to do. Take some classes. Join a gym. Volunteer with an organization that does things you believe in. It's hard to go from being needed 24/7 to feeling like you're obsolete. But trust me, your adult children need you every but as much as they ever did, but now you can figure out what YOU need, too.
  • eoewan
    by eoewan
    December 30, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    I thought I'd be lonely when the kids left home but then along came our new ds...we are starting all over again....it's not what we planned but glad it happened.

  • goddess99
    December 31, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    I'm going to sleep and then move lol.

  • saltycoqui
    December 31, 2012 at 1:29 PM
    IF they ever move out on their own... throw a party!
  • DaniandTom
    December 31, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Change the locks. ;)

  • SlapItHigh
    January 1, 2013 at 1:40 AM

    I would like to devote more time to charity work.

  • almostthere55
    January 1, 2013 at 7:07 AM

    They leave?  Gosh I didn't know.  lol  My oldest is 22 and still at home with no signs of leaving.  He is a good kid, helps around the house and doesn't cause any problems.  But I really wish he would move out.  Not for me but for him.  He has always been a bit shy and not very motivated.  Kind of a loner.  I want him to find himself and be excited about his future.  He went to college for one year and couldn't make the grades.  So he moved back home and got a job.  I think he is stuck in this lifestyle and doesn't want to go anywhere.  Any ideas to help would be appreciated!

  • afwifeandmommy3
    January 1, 2013 at 7:20 AM
    My moms youngest leaves for college next yr but not far because she's moving in with me lol . But she has my 25 yr old bro , his best friend (24) and I don't see them leaving anytime soon . My bros BFF parents just passed and he lost everything . My mom just got him working again . He was afraid to go anywhere ( car crash) they died he lived