Mom to Mom

Christmas eve drama!
December 27, 2012 at 6:12 PM
So this Christmas eve once again we went to my aunt and uncles house to celebrate with my moms side of the family. DH and I have twin 2yr old boys (just turned 2 December 6th) and I am wondering how other moms would react in this situation.

A little background that is relevant in a way to the story is, my uncle (my moms sisters husband) is a manic depressant with schizophrenia and is sometimes on medication. Through the years his behavior has always been brushed off, because "you know how he is"
He can be very rude and gives his opinion even when it's not asked for and says the most inappropriate things often offending many people. My aunt (my moms sister) always defends him and says he's just an idiot, you know how he is......look where it's coming from.
Well you know what, after so many insults and so much BS you get sick and tired of his behavior. My aunts is not far behind, she is a jealous woman who is always voicing her own opinion and often too offending and saying inappropriate remarks.

They have children not much younger than DH and I (a boy and girl) and are always comparing and praising their children and their lifestyle. They are all into looks and labels. They are not poor by any means, but both my uncle and his son in law (my cousins husband) are city workers, live in a decent area and have decent houses. They spend most of their money on clothes, shoes and pocket books so they always look their best when they go places and often make snide comments about other peoples styles or lack of!

All in all they are not BAD people and they can be fun to be around sometimes but the problem comes in because my DH comes from a wealthy family and has a great job himself, makes great money, we live in a very expensive area, an area my aunt was always admiring and trying to talk her husband into moving many years ago. They couldn't afford it so when we moved here they did quite a bit of trash talking about our house and how the neighborhood wasn't all that.
My cousin is pregnant and will be returning to work after her maternity leave and I am a SAHM so now all I hear is how she would go crazy being home all day and loosing her identity being around kiddie stuff all day. Mind you all I am a college educated woman and had a very good career in the medical field and worked for many years before I had my boys.

Ok so finally Christmas eve..........we were in a house full of family my boys know and love, my moms 2 brothers, my male cousin and my cousins husband were running arou d chasing my sons, lifting them up "flying" them around and taking ornaments off the tree pointing out , this is Santa and this is a wooden soldier, etc.....
All the while my mom, myself and my husband only a few steps behind so things didn't get broken or too crazy. I must say with all the excitement and stimulation they were in no way really "bad" they never got onto the furniture and jumped around or threw anything or even touched anything in the wrong way. @ one point one of my sons ran into the kitchen, which by the way I was willing to gate off by bringing a gate from home and was told it wouldn't be necessary. Anyway my aunt had the dishwasher open and was loading it up when my son leaned in, yes leaned not stepped in or crawled into......he leaned in and I was right behind him when my uncle (moms sisters husband) started cursing and yelling to get the fk out of here with these kids, they are too wild and no one is watching them, they are going to break the dishwasher, they are too wild they don't belong here!
I grabbed my son walked into the livingnroom and told my husband it was time to go and proceeded to put our coats on and left in a huff. Naturally the other guests that didn't see what happened kept asking what was wrong and I didn't reply except it was late and time to get going.
The next day my aunt (moms sister) went to my other uncles house (her brother) and told him her husband was only half to blame that the kids parents deserve the rest because they weren't watching them, they were too wild and that we don't know how to discipline our children!
She also proceeded to say she doesnt believe in babyproofing, and that my living room is like romper room! Mean while I have very pretty baskets the same color as my wood wall unit that I have some of the kids toys, books and puzzles in! And yes during the day I allow my kids to play in the living room, I don't think I want my 2yr olds playing in another room unsupervised or that I should stay in a closed room with them so nothing around the house ever gets done!

So my cousin sent me a text about how bad his parents feel and the ever popular you know how my dad is excuse. And I told him I didn't want to hear it, I have been insulted many times and have always turned the other cheek but this time because it involved my children and criticism about my parenting abilities I am not ready to hear an apology or even talk to them yet.
Am I wrong or would all of you feel so strongly about their actions and attitude?


  • goddess99
    December 27, 2012 at 8:17 PM

    Everyone parents differently and family shouldn't criticize. I guess in the future if I knew that uncle was going to be there I wouldn't attend.

  • MichelleMc
    December 27, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    I do not deal well with " You know how he is". I hate hate hate when people excuse someone and allow someone to be that way. I get he has mental issues okay, but then don't excuse him and then belittle or bash me & mine. I can see apologizing TO YOU right away for his comment. I am so sorry, he doesn't think before he speaks. And it is known that people can't control his mouth. okay, but that isn't the case here, they are backing up what he says. 

    You brought a baby gate but was told no need. You were right behind him, so he wasn't "running" the house. He is 2, and was acting 2, a good 2, in a houseful of people. Looking to see what someone was doing. 

    I wouldn't be around that guy or the one that commented on your parenting ro your childs behavior. 

  • SourRoses
    December 27, 2012 at 9:30 PM
    Having mental health disorders is not an excuse to be an ass IMO. That is not part of his disorder It's his personality.

    I would stop being around him and if people ask why you don't come around, tell them the truth. That you dont like being disrespected and his disorders are no excuse for that.
  • Shelly126
    December 27, 2012 at 10:21 PM
    Thanks for your input ladies! I am a first time mom and having 2yr old twin boys is hard enough work without being criticized for your parenting choices! It's also hard to hear people, especially family bad mouth your children saying we aren't disciplining them and they are too wild we shouldn't bring them anywhere. My children like to run and are active, but they are not wild and out of control. I am not a very formal and stuffy person so my home is comfortable and inviting, it is also THIER home, they should be comfortable and allowed to play with toys in the living room, IMO! The funny thing is my aunt and uncle have babied THIER grown children, payed off credit card debt for them and have a little dog they carry EVERWHERE with them! They take it to peop,es houses and the damn thing humps people and nips peope, yeah they should talk!
  • SlapItHigh
    December 27, 2012 at 11:09 PM

    Sorry about the drama.

  • Shelly126
    December 28, 2012 at 9:23 AM
  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    December 28, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    I think he overreacted and to curse at your 2 year old! Serioulsy! I would be mad too!

  • MichelleMc
    December 28, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    Yeah I would be NOT going around him or who is accepting that behavior or putting down you & yours.

  • splatz
    by splatz
    December 28, 2012 at 2:20 PM

    This made me LOL... SO true! I wouldn't be around someone who acted like that. 

    Quoting SourRoses:

    Having mental health disorders is not an excuse to be an ass IMO. That is not part of his disorder It's his personality.

    I would stop being around him and if people ask why you don't come around, tell them the truth. That you dont like being disrespected and his disorders are no excuse for that.

  • delanna6two
    December 29, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Hugs...hope things worked out..

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