I saw this in The Stir - Did you get your wild side out before having kids?
There's a never-ending debate going on regarding what the best age to have a child is, and unsurprisingly, people typically think whatever general age they had a kid is the best age. But regardless of which point in time men and women choose to procreate (I'd say what's "best" varies for everyone), I think getting a few things out of your system before you take the (baby) plunge is a good idea. And, naturally, Drew Barrymore agrees.
The new mom of Olive recently told Allure: "I’m glad I lived such a full life before I settled down into a family because I got to enjoy it and get it out of my system." I didn't get quite as many things out of my system as once wild-child Drew did, but I'm definitely on-board with this philosophy.
As I said, there is no "best age" to have a baby -- it clearly varies for everyone. It's more about feeling ready. For me, that age was 33 -- after my husband and I, individually and collectively, did some stuff not very conducive to parenting. At different points in our lives, we both had unpredictable/not very stable entertainment/music jobs; we've lived in various cities; we got to travel a bit; we took spontaneous weekend trips; stayed out late with friends, etc. It was fun -- and we definitely weren't ready for children then. It was after we "got that out of our system" (and were over it), that we realized we really wanted a kid. And we haven't looked back since. Not for a single second.
My personal path obviously is just that -- personal. It isn't for everyone. Some people have exactly zero interest in traveling or staying out late and want a baby immediately, and I totally respect that. And sometimes I even wish my husband and I started having kids earlier! But we just weren't ready then. For me, getting to do "crazy" -- for lack of a better word -- things was part of my growing up and learning who I was and what I liked and disliked. And I genuinely think it's made me a better mom.
So I say if you don't have kids yet, and there's something you really want to do, go for it. Because once you have little ones, it isn't about you anymore. Not in the slightest.
Do you feel like you "got things out of your system" before having a kid?
by maria1613December 19, 2012 at 2:26 PMNo. I definitely feel like I should have waited a little longer.
December 19, 2012 at 2:36 PMNo, I was 19.
by JanetDecember 19, 2012 at 7:32 PMNo I was only 17.
by nikkita311December 20, 2012 at 7:05 PMYes, had my son 27
No...I was almost 21, still in college and not living on my own. There are so many things i wanted to try, and now with my darling daughter here...it doesn't seem like the right time. Heck, her daddy is my first and only...and even though I love him, there are so many times where I think I rushed into things and that we should have been more careful. We fight so much, and despite my best efforts...sometimes I wonder if we'd just be better off friends. But, I'm afraid to get back out there and to damage something that could be right. I just don't know if it's right, right now.
by goddess99December 20, 2012 at 7:33 PM
Yes. I am sooooo glad I didn't have my dd when I was in my 20s or forbid even younger. I partied like a rock star then I bartended like I lived the Coyote Ugly lifestyle, wouldn't have traded that or the money for Anything. There's not even a word for how much fun I had lol. Very Happily had my dd when I was 30.
I must not have ever had much of a system, because I have never been into nor did get into parties, drinking, drugs or doing stupid things.
Before I started my family I lived with my moms and brothers and usually I was the one that did a lot of the cooking and cleaning while I was working part-time and going to college full-time. Needless to say not much changed when I started my family except that I live with my husband and children, but I still do much of the cooking and cleaning and when I went to work it was for them.
by MichelleMcDecember 20, 2012 at 8:25 PM
Don't understand that "get everything out of my system" stuff. What do I need to get out of my system? Partying? Acting immatural? Um, No thanks. I was happy & thrilled to be a mom at 19. I didn't need to get stupid drunk, sleep with strangers, hope I didn't get a disease, get an unwanted pregnancy with someone I wouldn't see again, ever do drugs, forget what I did the night before, um, no thanks.
I am thankful I had a child at 19 to a wonderful man I am happily still married to. We are seeing our son graduating in June & then he is leaving for the army. We are sad a little of course but happy to start our empty nesting time also.
December 20, 2012 at 10:23 PM
I was a teen mom, so I know I didn't.