charnrich26
A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!
December 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM

I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

Replies

  • RainieDaze
    December 18, 2012 at 8:07 AM

    Don't beat yourself up too badly. He is only 5 yrs old and I'm sure he didn't understand fully what he was saying, or what you had told him. He knew that what you told him about was bad and scared people, so in an attempt to scare other kids he said what he said. As he gets older he will slowly begin to understand what truly happened and I'm sure he will be grateful you told him about it. Like I said though, don't beat yourself up about it, kids will be kids. The fact that he cried and regreted saying it is a good sign that he is all good :) Hang in there momma, he'll grow up quicker than you know.

    My nephew who was 7 yrs old wrote a note to another boy in class saying he was going to kick his butt and shoot him in the face (this was over a year ago) this year he is 8 yrs old and before the Sandy Hook incident he wrote another note to the same boy apologizing for what he had said the previous year. Kids grow up and learn that what they say can be very hurtful. Doesn't mean they're psychopaths...they just don't understand death yet.

  • Aishamusty
    December 18, 2012 at 8:25 AM

    just take it easy he's still a kid 

    Quoting RainieDaze:

    Don't beat yourself up too badly. He is only 5 yrs old and I'm sure he didn't understand fully what he was saying, or what you had told him. He knew that what you told him about was bad and scared people, so in an attempt to scare other kids he said what he said. As he gets older he will slowly begin to understand what truly happened and I'm sure he will be grateful you told him about it. Like I said though, don't beat yourself up about it, kids will be kids. The fact that he cried and regreted saying it is a good sign that he is all good :) Hang in there momma, he'll grow up quicker than you know.

    My nephew who was 7 yrs old wrote a note to another boy in class saying he was going to kick his butt and shoot him in the face (this was over a year ago) this year he is 8 yrs old and before the Sandy Hook incident he wrote another note to the same boy apologizing for what he had said the previous year. Kids grow up and learn that what they say can be very hurtful. Doesn't mean they're psychopaths...they just don't understand death yet.

  • veganistic
    December 18, 2012 at 9:22 AM
    Bump!
  • Pammi86
    by Pammi86
    December 18, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    I am sorry mama! But he is only 5 and I doubt he truly understood what he said.

  • fairy_fan
    December 18, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    I had a similar experience.  DH had just bought a new shotgun and also bought YS a BB gun.  A few weeks later YS threatened a girl at school he was going to get his BB gun and shoot her.  She told him it wouldn't hurt so he said he would get his dads shotgun and shoot her in the arm...that would hurt he told her.  The girl reported him and the principal had a long talk with him, of course called me to tell me what happened, and he got an even longer talking to at home with a firm reminder to his butt to remember what they had talked about concerning gun safety.  Haven't had a problem since.

  • mommy_med
    December 18, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    kids repeat what they hear,,simple as that. i dint tell my kids, theyre just too young to have to deal with those extreme emotions


  • momma2b2008
    December 18, 2012 at 10:54 AM
    Wow! Around here your kid would have been suspended. We have a zero tolerance policy and it does not discriminate!

    But don't beat yourself up to much! Just explain to him that it is not ok to say things like that in public!
  • goddess99
    December 18, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    I agree that children repeat what they hear.

  • supercarp
    December 18, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    I know you tried to do the right thing. Being a parent is hard. 5 is awfully young for a child to handle that kind of information. (Hindsight is 20/20) Your son may have just reacted to something mean the girls said to him. It's important for him to not feel as if he has to be victimized by other children, but that he should tell the teacher or you and not respond to teasing.

    Don't feel guilty, but don't cry in your son's presence; it will undermine his faith that you can help him.

  • SweetLuci
    December 18, 2012 at 11:35 AM

     It's good that you had a serious talk with him. Children often see a lot of violence on tv, and it does have an influence on them. They often repeat things they've heard while adults are watching adult programs and think children aren't paying attention.