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charnrich26
A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!
December 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM

I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

Replies

  • happy2bmom25
    December 19, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    I chose to not tell my kids about this incident, but after a day of school they learned about it from other children. I wish that I had told my kids myself, like the original poster did. I would rather the information come from me than a peer.

    For such a tragic moment, there may be no perfect way to handle this, and certainly no one way will work the same way for all children, don't you think?

    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.

    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  

    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.


  • maryah84
    December 19, 2012 at 9:24 AM

    The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
    I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.

    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    My daughter is four and knows.

    Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.




    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.


    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  


    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.



  • LiLsMaMa21
    December 19, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Look at it this way, when we were little that kind of talk from a five year old was innocent. We didn't really mean we were going to bring a gun to school and start offing people. So take it a little easy on the kid but let him know that he can NOT talk like that. Now a days that kind of talk will get him kicked out of school. There have been a lot of bomb/terrorist threats at the schools in my area and I know if my dd were to say something like that right now, there would be no warning. They would be calling me to come get her and never bring her back. This is a toughie... good luck. And go with your gut on rather or not to tell them things like that. Don't worry about what others will think. 

  • LilliesValley
    December 19, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    I decided to tell our daughter about it because like the sex talk I didn't want her to hear it from someone else. the schools are doing so much about this. Her school wore green or white to school on Monday and had a prayer service, so I knew they were going to be talking about it. I figured controlling what she was told at home and giving her the opportunity to ask questions was the best thing.

    To original poster, it's terrible that this occured, but more likely than not it's something he could have said even before this all happened last week. I don't think you put the idea in his head to say something like this.

  • LilliesValley
    December 19, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    This is exactly why I decided to talk to my 6 year old about this on Sunday. It's more controlled and they can ask questions if they want, you can watch them, their body language, etc. After school each day when I'm asking about her day I just check to see what's on her mind and say do you have anything you want to ask me? I don't specifically ask about the shooting. I work at her school in the after care program so let me tell you all that kids are talking PLENTY about all of this.

    Quoting happy2bmom25:

    I chose to not tell my kids about this incident, but after a day of school they learned about it from other children. I wish that I had told my kids myself, like the original poster did. I would rather the information come from me than a peer.

    For such a tragic moment, there may be no perfect way to handle this, and certainly no one way will work the same way for all children, don't you think?

    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.

    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  

    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.

     


  • mommyinthe303
    December 19, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    It's ok, I wanted to not tell my kids and keep them from the news but I told them a little bit and the school told them the rest. I feel awful my kids are living in this kind of stuff. Don't be to hard on yourself, he prob didn't understand all of it.

  • notjstanothrmom
    December 19, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    Yeah... definitely wouldn't have told them. Way too young. My son is 5 and has NO clue about the shootings.

  • MsDenuninani
    December 19, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Oh, that sucks. 

    I'm assuming that he really didn't know what he was saying -- I don't think 5 year olds really do. 

    I'm sure that it won't happen again, and that your son is a good kid.

  • StrawberryCool
    December 19, 2012 at 10:28 AM
    What part of

    SHES NOT SCARED

    Did you miss?

    So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.

    So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.


    Quoting maryah84:

    The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
    I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.


    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    My daughter is four and knows.



    Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.









    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.



    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  



    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.





  • StrawberryCool
    December 19, 2012 at 10:59 AM
    What part of

    SHES NOT SCARED

    Did you miss?

    So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.

    So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.


    Quoting maryah84:

    The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
    I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.


    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    My daughter is four and knows.



    Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.









    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.



    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  



    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.





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