Mom to Mom

A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!
December 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM

I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.


  • kshy
    by kshy
    December 18, 2012 at 9:58 PM

    I honestly believe you should not feel guilty. You as a mom felt that talking to your children about the Situation in Connecticut was the rigt thing to do. I'm sure your son is a very smart boy. He didn't fully understand but thats okay, it takes time. Its just trial and error. You did the right thing :)

  • ashleywagoner
    December 18, 2012 at 10:00 PM

    Quoting Pammi86:

    I am sorry mama! But he is only 5 and I doubt he truly understood what he said.

  • Ultra_
    by Ultra_
    December 19, 2012 at 12:43 AM

    Wow. I'm very sorry that happened. I don't think it's your fault. You said the same thing I said to my youngest. Though that same afternoon, Friday, one girl who causes many problems said something similar. She was still in the daycare bus and said, "I wish I had a knife to kill you stupid people!" She hadn't even known what happened yet. I don't even know if she will be told. She's 5. That's her character though. :\

  • VintageWife
    December 19, 2012 at 12:49 AM
    He's 5 and he's seen guns on tv. They don't understand it's permanent. Just talk to him about it.
  • NewMamaBoo
    December 19, 2012 at 1:29 AM


  • StrawberryCool
    December 19, 2012 at 1:34 AM
    You did the right thing.

    I dont think this needs to be hidden and kept from children.

    What they hear itfrom someone else?

    Then theyll come home with questions and be upset cuz you Didnt tell them about it?

    Dd knows and has cried with me and has hugged me so much more. And isnt scared at all.
  • StrawberryCool
    December 19, 2012 at 1:35 AM
    My daughter is four and knows.

    Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.

    Quoting Bonita131:

    Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.

    Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  

    Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.

  • StrawberryCool
    December 19, 2012 at 1:37 AM
    And we womder why I dont like guns in homes.

    Something now cuz he is five sire he doesnt understand.

    What happens when he is 15? And says it?

    Quoting fairy_fan:

    I had a similar experience.  DH had just bought a new shotgun and also bought YS a BB gun.  A few weeks later YS threatened a girl at school he was going to get his BB gun and shoot her.  She told him it wouldn't hurt so he said he would get his dads shotgun and shoot her in the arm...that would hurt he told her.  The girl reported him and the principal had a long talk with him, of course called me to tell me what happened, and he got an even longer talking to at home with a firm reminder to his butt to remember what they had talked about concerning gun safety.  Haven't had a problem since.

  • ElizabethGracie
    December 19, 2012 at 1:39 AM

    Poor baby...I doubt he really understood what he was saying or the consequences of what he threatening. Kids that age don't really have any concept of how permanent death is or of how something like that is taken as a serious threat. He most likely just said it for shock factor and to get a reaction out of the other kids.

    Btw,I think you did the right thing in talking to your kids.Even if you hadn't told him about it,he probably would have overheard it  anyway and ended up drawing his own conclusions anyway. Thankfully,my son is only a year old, so I don't have to worry about stuff like this yet.

  • TyrsMom
    by TyrsMom
    December 19, 2012 at 1:42 AM

    Maybe that is his way of dealing with it, it was not a good way of course but ask him why he did it also.

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