I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.
the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.
me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.
first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.
also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.
by tiredmama42December 20, 2012 at 11:13 AM
I wouldnt take it personally because the subject is fresh in their minds about guns etc right now. I tried to talk to my DS and he didnt want to discuss it. Then when he got upset over a issue at school yesterday that the principal moved his friend out of his class.. he was so upset that he said he could shoot the principal. I was shocked. Of course we had a heart to heart about that statement but my DH tried to reason its because all this gun stuff is fresh on these kids minds. Its heartbreaking to hear. Not sure about your area but yesterday the police where in a local school because of someone threatening to shoot there... today numerous schools closed because of bomb threats.
You did the right thing by explaining it to them. You cant hide the world from your kids. They can either hear about and talk with you about tragedys or hear about it from the wrong sources and thats when the confusion starts. Like others have said he did not know what he really was saying. People who think their kids dont know whats going on in the world need to wake up.or they will find themselves shocked about and upset about something their child does or says in the future. Talk to ur kids Before they talk to someone else. These kids are way smarter than we were.
by nargeDecember 21, 2012 at 2:41 PM
You really should not have told your children anything, they are too young
by surfgrl60December 21, 2012 at 2:45 PM
The professionals said NOT to talk about it. There was no reason to bring it up if you dont live there.
by Jenn_ADecember 22, 2012 at 1:19 AM
While I would be stern and talk about his side of things first, just so he knows it isn't an excuse, I'd also ask why, what the girls had said, ect. He may have thought it would impress them, or some such goofy idea. I mean, he's 5, what he sees on TV or hears on radio he doesn't understand, he just thinks it is cool.
by artistmom27January 7 at 8:06 PM
Look, it is not the desensitizing that causes kids to be messed up. If that was the case I would have done the same thing or worse. My father would watch shows like that, and horror/action flicks when I was growing up. By 5 years old (I'm 27 now) I was up to date on every horror movie ever created. I find that it is taking the time to teach children about the evils of the world and how these people are wrong is better. I would rather them learn from me about these things instead of trying to deal with it or learning about it alone. There is a dark reality in this world and I would rather brace my child for it, like my dad did for me.
to the original poster:
You are TOTALLY IN THE RIGHT for talking to your child about the event. It is better for your child to know the true facts from you and ask any questions to you instead of a school person or friends.
I told my son about the event. I avoided the details to a degree, and told him that "A really bad man came in and hurt a bunch of people and a bunch of kids." He asked how and I told him it was with a gun, and explained how guns can hurt people and make them go to heaven. He then asked if they died and I told him "Yes, they went to heaven like (our pet) did." It was over until he came back from school. That afternoon he asks me about why the guy hurt himself (the one part I did leave out). I had to explain to him that the guy was so sad that he hurt all those people and not feeling well in the head.
You cant always control what is said when kids are in public school, and the fact is that it is better coming from the parent where the child can hear the correct information and deal with it.
As for what he said, just remind him that we don't say things like that, but at the end it will work out
Whatever you say, I guess there is lots of messed up kids outside cause there parents is irresponsible. So yeah it's your bussnies. I'm done talking to you here. I was just stating my opinion, i don't care what you do in your life.
yes there are other things on the tv besides the news and disneyjr.
but those tv shows consist of
other randon drama filled talk shows
and nick jr.
and regular disney....
so if i want to watch the news and tell her to go play that's MY BUSINESS.
Nothing In your previous post that I quoted you on mentioned that she was not scared all you said that she knows. but even if she is not scared from this bad event, there are tons of other things she can see in the news that can scare her or anybody else especially international news with all the problems and stuff that is going on now. and yes people do what ever it take to protect there kids from anything that could harm there feeling or harm them by anyway. At least that's my opinion. Ohh and there is other stuff in the Tv beside Disney jr and news to watch.
What part of
SHES NOT SCARED
Did you miss?
So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.
So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.
The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.
My daughter is four and knows.
Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.
Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.
Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place then continue your talk.
Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.