Sorry that this might be a bit of a rambling mess but I really need a clear perspective. Several months ago all of my extend family went on a "dream" vacation to Disney. Of course it was more Griswolds instead of Waltons. In the end my brother and I ended up in a huge fight because there was an issue with a hotel room that I felt my extended family was trying to bully me, and in turn, my step-children into. My SIL tried to tell me that I needed to sleep with my girls and my husband needed to sleep with the boys. I told her just to butt out of it and let the Family take care of it...meaning the blood relation. Of course that went over well. So I haven't spoke to my brother since. I have dropped off gifts for my 2 nieces since for their birthdays. One of my children's birthday's my parents bought the gift and made it from them, and the other time they dropped off a gift at my parents house. I have sent my brother a text telling him that I loved him, I missed him and I was sorry. I also have wished them happy holiday and sent them love at every holiday since. And I have received nothing in response. So of course because of this my mother has canceled all holidays. I have 5 children who are use to having Christmas eve with all of my family and the youngest (4) just wants to be with his grandparents. However, my parents will not intervene on this and have said that it's between my brother and I. I don't know that us reconcilingwould even change my mother attitude and at this point. I'm just tired of the whole thing but I don't want my children to miss out. It doens't help that my parents are on a very fixed income right now and don't have any money to buy the kids gifts. Not that my kids care but I know that doesn't help the issue. So the question is, do I just suck it up and put my big girl panties on and apologize (even though I don't feel that I was totally in the wrong and I feel that my meaning was totally missed in my comment?) or just keep the status quo?
December 13, 2012 at 8:47 PM
Have you apologised to SIL? I think a hand-written letter would be more meaningful than a text. Ask to clean the slate and express that you miss your family in its entirety, wish to be forgiven, etc. If this doesn't do the trick, then leave the ball in their court and go on with your lives. They may finally grow up and apologise themselves.You can't force anyone to change. Only yourself. Stay calm and kind and be satisfied that you did your obligation of sincerely apologising from your end