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angirose
if it were you??
December 5, 2012 at 8:10 PM

My ex...whom i was with for 15 yrs. and divorced almost 3 yrs ago is severely bi-polar, in fact he was diagnosed shortly after our divorce and not only did the doctor put him on meds. But he up the perscription a few months after because it is so severe. My ex didnt like the medicine side effects so he stopped taking it and self medicates by smoking marijana. I suffered in this realtionship constantly with emotional abuse, so the fact he was diagnosed bi-polar was no surprise to me. But now it is effecting our 7 yr old son. He doesnt harm him or be mean to him, actually it is the complete opposite. He spoils him rotton. Buys him anything and everything he wants. Including vidoe games that arent age appropraite. Lets him stay up very late on school nights playing on-line with friends thru xbox live. And has my son convinced that he isnt responsible for his actions, that he has no control over his behavior. And interacts with our 7 yr old as if he is 2yr old.

Mind you, his father doesnt pay child support or help with dental or medical. This is all on me. And its not that i dont want our son to have things. I just want him to realize that nothing comes free. Or that he should earn it.

What are your thoughts??

 

Replies

  • Janet
    by Janet
    December 5, 2012 at 9:03 PM

     Why doesn't he pay child support?

  • gr8d8n3mom
    December 5, 2012 at 9:43 PM

    What I think and what your Court Order for your child's parenting time with his Bio dad are 2 different things. If  you can prove that the parenting time your son has with his dad is effecting him some how, you would have to go back to court to get it changed. I know that's not what  you want to hear, but it's the only legal thing you can do. Other wise your son's dad can take you to court for interfering with his parenting time.

    I'm not saying I agree with it, and it depends on how bad it is effecting your son. I hope things work out.

  • KRIZZ25
    by KRIZZ25
    December 5, 2012 at 9:48 PM
    MAYBE HE NEED SUPERVISES VISITED?
  • splatz
    by splatz
    December 6, 2012 at 2:43 AM
    Sounds like my ex husband... it sucks to always be the "mean" parent who can't drop all their money on new toys. To be the one to make them go to bed on time, do homework, wake up for school, etc..
  • angirose
    December 6, 2012 at 4:20 PM


    Quoting Janet:

     Why doesn't he pay child support?


    Honestly i like this way because its just one less thing i have to worry about. Xh doesnt believe he should have to pay anyway because our son is with him every weekend. But it will happen. For now less stress the better. Dealing with someone who has bi-polar and uses it be the worst person they can is difficult enough....you learn to pick your battles. Plus his karma always gets the best of him......lol

  • angirose
    December 6, 2012 at 4:22 PM


    Quoting splatz:

    Sounds like my ex husband... it sucks to always be the "mean" parent who can't drop all their money on new toys. To be the one to make them go to bed on time, do homework, wake up for school, etc..


    I agree....and i have got to the point now where i know in the long run all the stress and hard work is gonna benifit my son in the long run. He may not like me all the time now, but he will be thankful for it in the future.

  • angirose
    December 6, 2012 at 4:27 PM


    Quoting KRIZZ25:

    MAYBE HE NEED SUPERVISES VISITED?


    This is one of the goals i am working towards. I have been gathering info/evidence for awhile now. I just am now at the point where i may have enough or may not?? I have consulted in a lawyer and know the avenues needed to take action. Now its just weighting on my heart. I am all about the safety of my son and his mind being healthy. But i am torn with taking his father away. Because i know XH better than he knows himself. And i worry this could make him suicidal.He was very suicidal after our divorce. And he always plays the victim. so....????  Its just a lot to think about. 

  • lnrmom
    by lnrmom
    December 6, 2012 at 4:47 PM


    Quoting angirose:

     

    Quoting Janet:

     Why doesn't he pay child support?


    Honestly i like this way because its just one less thing i have to worry about. Xh doesnt believe he should have to pay anyway because our son is with him every weekend. But it will happen. For now less stress the better. Dealing with someone who has bi-polar and uses it be the worst person they can is difficult enough....you learn to pick your battles. Plus his karma always gets the best of him......lol

    I'm bipolar and I can tell you, that's not an excuse for him being that way. Impulse spending, yes, but completely irreponsible? No.

  • angirose
    December 6, 2012 at 4:54 PM


    Quoting lnrmom:

     

    Quoting angirose:

     

    Quoting Janet:

     Why doesn't he pay child support?


    Honestly i like this way because its just one less thing i have to worry about. Xh doesnt believe he should have to pay anyway because our son is with him every weekend. But it will happen. For now less stress the better. Dealing with someone who has bi-polar and uses it be the worst person they can is difficult enough....you learn to pick your battles. Plus his karma always gets the best of him......lol

    I'm bipolar and I can tell you, that's not an excuse for him being that way. Impulse spending, yes, but completely irreponsible? No.


  • angirose
    December 6, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    Im sorry....i dont mean to imply that everyone who is bi-polar is like XH. He is responsible for all his actions and he chooses always to be the victim. I spent my entire relationship with trying to help him cope. But nothing help. Even close to 7 yrs of counciling before our divorce didnt help. I feel as tho ppl have to want change. I think hes content using his bi-polar as a excuse and therefore will. So am sorry if i have offended you in anyway....

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