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laura45234
I dont like my child
December 4, 2012 at 10:55 PM

I just cant take it anymore.  My son is 5 but not yet in Kindergarden because I know I would get called every day.  He hits me, says he hates me, wont listen, wont mind, throws things at me.  I try to play with him when I can but I have a newborn so I'm busy all the time.  My husband is at work all day, but helps out when he gets home.  Time outs is what usually starts the violence. I try charts, rewards, special time with me, but its hopeless.  He is so abusive to me, but noone has ever abused him.  I cant go visit friends because noone else likes him either.  I hate myself so much.  What kind of a mother am I?  I sometimes wish it were just  me and my husband and the baby.  I cant stop crying.  I've had him evaluated and they say he is just a little bit ADHD, but medication made him 10 times worse.  I cant go to a different Dr. Because the Oregon health plan only lets you see a specialist twice and he is the only one on the list anyway.  They dont care about kids, trust me.  I just cant take it anymore

Replies

  • Janet
    by Janet
    December 5, 2012 at 7:22 PM

     It sounds like a change of meds is what he needs. Don't be so hard on yourself. With the right meds it will get better. Not perfect but better.

  • sabrtooth1
    December 5, 2012 at 8:01 PM

    There is no such thing as being a "little bit" ADHD, any more than being a "little bit" blind.  If the meds made him WORSE, then SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG.  You need another evaluation.  It MIGHT be BiPolar, or a host of other things.  Plus, YOU need some psychiatric care yourself, and also need to get counseling on how to parent this child.

  • fortheboys1218
    December 6, 2012 at 8:39 AM

     Hey, I can tell you it doesnt sound like ADHD, you need to look at your school district call them, they usually have a department that handles evaluations for chidren 3 yrs old and up , it is free, and no insurance needed. You also need to find someone to take this little guy off your hands for a few hours a day . There are services all over the country that you can contact for moms in your situation that gives you a break so that the children have a better , confident and relaxed mom to handle all this , you need to seek out some mommy groups or take a behavorial class at the local health department to give you tips on how to handle this, and if all else fails call CPS and the will direct you where to go to get help and the treatment he needs. they arent just in the buisness of takeing kids away from abusive situations.  Best of Luck , and try with all you have not to act like you dont like him in front of him or talk about the issuses in ear shot because they do listen and understand and will act out even more just on pure emotions

     

  • OliviasMommy611
    December 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM
    You're a psychologist?

    Quoting AroojOmer:

    Please... don't say this.. being a psychologist i would say that he is suffering from ADHD...n its quite common in children now a days, so consult a child psychologist or psychiatrist...n i hope everything will be fine...
  • OliviasMommy611
    December 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM
    I agree

    Quoting Janet:

     It sounds like a change of meds is what he needs. Don't be so hard on yourself. With the right meds it will get better. Not perfect but better.

  • jbirdsladie27
    December 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM
    I'm sorry.
  • luvmybug
    December 6, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    i'm sorry *HUGS*

  • Des10ed2b
    December 6, 2012 at 10:05 AM

    this sounds strange, but have you tried giving him a little shot of coffee in some chocolate milk? caffiene has the opposite effects for kids with ADHD. it can help mellow them out a little bit. 

    and i hear ya. my son is 4 and is wild and talks non-stop. he isnt abusive, but he is exhausting. it is hard. 

  • SuperMomKrissy
    December 6, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    Could he be jealous of the newborn?  My oldest is starting to act out too and I'm not sure why.  My youngest is almost 5 so I can't say it's jealousy because they've been around each other for 2 years.  I don't know if it's just her age or the friends she associates with in school...I'm not sure if I should have her evaluated by doctors...I have no idea.  I understand how you feel though.  There are days that I just can't stand it anymore and I want to have a nervous breakdown because of the way she acts at times.  If you need someone to talk to, let me know.  We can complain about our out of control kids together. lol

  • motherof8babies
    December 6, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    I'm in Washington County.

    Quoting grneyedormom:

    She's in Multnomah Cty ladies.

    Quoting motherof8babies:

    I live in Oregon as well, PM with what city you're city in. I had the same fight with my now 14 year old. I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through



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